For the last two weeks I’ve been decreasing the amount I sleep from an appalling ten (or more) hours to a fine seven. Although this doesn’t have a magnificent ‘wow!’ effect, it is less than the average eight, and it’s still falling. I didn’t read any how to sleep less manuals, hints or tips, but just followed what I would call common sense. If you want to learn how to sleep less then this article is for you. On the other hand if you’re quite content lounging around like a lioness in bed until well past noon, despite life being incredibly short then do so. Either way, sleep is incredibly important for health, learning and overall well-being. It’s not the quantity of sleep that matters, it’s the quality.

• Question – if sleep were a choice, would you or wouldn’t you?

Decide now how much sleep you want

Unless you want to be walking around like a zombie for the first week, cut down your sleep in small steps. I went from ten hours to seven hours in two weeks, which is a decrease of 12.8 minutes a day. Although I wasn’t that precise. The more you want to cut down, the longer it will take. Adaptation always takes time, and if you want it to be an easy transition then give yourself a month or more. The longer the transition phase the smaller the gradient. So let’s say you wanted to cut down by two hours over three months. That’s simply a decrease of just over a minute per day.

If you’re a little bit impatient and want to sleep less right now (like me) then be prepared for some pain. Not physical pain, but just severe fatigue. It started off as an accident – I was jet lagged so after five hours of sleep I woke up at sunrise feeling fresh and ready to conquer the world. It was so amazing that I decided there and then that I always want to wake up early (looking back, it was the god awful hour of 5AM) and be able to walk on the streets with no one else around. I knew that the only way to survive on so few hours of sleep was if they were high quality.

Get some quality sleep

This is the most important factor in how to sleep less. I want to stress it so much that if I could have your CD drive open and transform into a sign ‘QUALITY NOT QUANTITY’ then I would. In my opinion there are two types of sleep: deep and light. Deep sleep is when you’re practically unconscious. Someone could tape you to the ceiling and you wouldn’t notice. It’s when you wake up and have no clue how much time has passed. It’s the sleep that heals wounds, figures out complex problems, reduces metabolism, makes you grow and generally recharges all cells in the body with that mystical energy that only sleep gives. It’s deep sleep you want as much of and as quickly as possible. Light sleep is when your mind is drifting, you see dreams yet are aware of your own presence. It’s when if you really wanted to you could wake up, if a noise is heard, or one of those really random itches are felt then you’d climb back into consciousness.

It’s all about going deep

To sleep less, the key is in reducing light sleep, and strengthening deep sleep. This is where common sense comes in. Playing video games just before bed does not help. Those of you who are computer game fanatics will know exactly what I mean when you go to bed, and you actually dream yourself in the game (‘boom headshot!’). Similarly don’t pump out those last remaining press-ups, sit ups or pistol leg squats just before you crash. These only release adrenaline and happy hormones that do anything but let you go to sleep. Some say don’t eat, but I personally found eating a huge meal before sleep helped…Oxygen goes from the brain to the stomach – but that’s my experience.

• Question – Does sex make you feel more or less tired?

Bed time stories

There are countless “don’ts” but fewer “dos”. Sleep isn’t like a light switch. It’s a slow transition (unless you’re particularly knackered) that requires a routine habit. I generally found that by preparing for sleep one or two hours before actually going to bed helped hugely reduce the amount of light sleep. For some reason, parents learn and implement this for their kids but not for themselves. For instance, normally they’d say, “right! It’s time to get ready for bed: Bath, teeth and then a story.” The same routine, everyday that gets the kid to sleep…And it works for us older folk too. By having a shower, opening a book and reading in shallow (not bright) light until you are tired enough to sleep works wonders. This was my routine and it worked. I’m looking to improve it however by adding more things to the routine. Essentially all you’re trying to do is tell the body that it’s time to sleep. The more senses you stimulate signaling this the quicker it’ll get. So perhaps a scented candle, soft clothes, easy-to-read book, and calming music is the ultimate combo.

Alarm clock

Out of everything though, an alarm clock is the must have gadget. It is the deadliest weapon in all how to wake up early arsenal kits and it’ll (almost) never fail you. There are alarms on everything these days: mobile phones, microwaves, dishwashers, watches, computers and hell I wouldn’t be surprised if my hoover had one. Set it to the time you want to wake up, then another for five minutes later. Try and keep this time constant but if a social life means that every other night ends at the time you want to wake up then change it. I’ll come back to this in a bit. For the first week I used my mobile phone because it allows me to have two alarms. Yet as I discovered, this can actually work in your disfavor. If at the first alarm you don’t get up and out of bed immediately, you drift into what I call the ‘oh-no-you-don’t’ sleep phase where your body just feels like cardboard and will not get out. If you’re lucky enough to still be living at home with your parents, get your Mum to wake you up. She’ll be more than pleased to oblige.

You must, and I mean this, try your utmost hardest to literally jump out of bed at the first hearing of the alarm clock. Here’s the beauty of my how to sleep less article – Adrenaline will remove any fatigue normally associated with getting out of bed. Please try it because you will not be disappointed. After you have jumped out of bed (if you spend more than ten seconds in bed after waking you’ve failed) get in the shower. Just like going to sleep, waking up is a (far quicker) transition and requires a routine. Showering wakes up the senses, feels good, and refreshes the body ready for a hard day of work…

Not before a hearty breakfast though! After seven hours of deep sleep or less, I often found myself starving in the morning. Metabolism cranks down whilst you sleep, so unless you’re wanting to put on the pounds don’t miss this meal of the day. Food (and thus energy) is crucial to being able to stay awake for longer than normal periods of time. At first I forgot this minor detail, trying to survive an extra three hours a day with the same levels of energy. By the early evening I was feeling groggy and wondering whether this whole ambition was ridiculous. The normal statistics reveal 1940 calories per day for women and 2550 for men. This is based on a sixteen hour day ( eight hours sleep) – 121.25 and 159.7 calories per hour awake. So if you’re staying awake for longer realize now that you need at least another 200 calories per hour awake ( I increased it because these scientists are always a bit stingy).

High energy foods are of great benefit too. Bananas and cereal…Not Haribo Tangfastics (sour sweets). Don’t be shy of caffeine either, I’m a great fan of starting off the day with a hot mug of real American coffee and getting that afternoon boost from one too. Now, regarding some other stimulants/depressants…

For when you groove

Learning how to sleep less is difficult if your social or work life interrupts regular sleeping patterns. I got in a bit of a fiddle when I realized three or more times a week I would still be partying way past midnight. All I can say is don’t starve yourself of sleep. If your body needs it, then give it. You will be tired throughout the day afterward if you do not have a good nights’ sleep. So once you’ve caught up, then get back into sleeping less. Alternatively, as the Spanish discovered many centuries ago, an afternoon ciesta (or nap) works wonders. Thirty minutes of shut-eye may result in a few hours extra of partying…or working. I was often surprised to see Spanish families out until midnight or the early hours of the morning, including young children despite having to wake up early the next day. Their secret is a two or three hour ciesta around four in the afternoon.

• Related Forum Post – Are Naps Misunderstood?

Create the environment

I live on a main road with a healthy stream of traffic. Large lorries drive past in the middle of the night that shake my bedroom. I’m used to it now, but when friends come over they complain of the worst night sleep ever and being woken by multiple ‘earthquakes’. However when I stay somewhere else that is quieter, I can’t sleep at all. This is why creating a suitable environment will help you achieve the perfect night sleep. If you have road lamps outside your window, or if the sun rises burning your retina get an eye mask. Ear plugs I’ve heard can be of great use too, but so far nothing is on the market for creating artificial noise/vibration (not of that kind you cheeky monkey).

Side effects

Don’t be fooled about how easy this is. The first few days for me were coffee fueled and resulted in huge black eyes. Even if I were a Zombie and raw human meat was hung before me I wouldn’t have been able to pluck up the energy to lift my arms in that Egytian style Mummy manner. OK so it wasn’t that bad, but as suggested I did cut it down slowly. One and a half hours each week. Bags under your eyes are reduced by drinking shed-loads of water, vitamins and minerals.

As written earlier I’m now experimenting with furthering my routine before bed, and cutting it down to six hours. I’m also going to be investigating how to wake up with natural sunrise i.e. leave the curtains drawn open. So in order to stay tuned, join our Facebook group below. Looking forward to some of your replies to the questions throughout, especially whether sex makes you feel more or less tired.

Join our PUALifestyle Facebook Group to gain access to exclusive content, and to receive notifications of new articles via Facebook email. Meet other readers, discuss the latest and much, much more. Take a look at our online forum to see what the PUALifestyle gang is getting up to and join nearly 2000 others on Twitter following @DanielBecerra and @tomchurch.

Hope you’re all well,

Tom

How much they have, how much they will have but never, ever how much they don’t have. That’s against the rules. To not have sex (let’s admit it, the activity is seen as a commodity in the majority of male minds) is to be a loser. To not drink alcohol is to be a spoil sport, and to not have money…Well that depends on what you spent it on.  I realise that by revealing this truth to the women of the internet world, my male ‘wingmen’ will be preparing some disgusting mixture of what only can  be described as brew for me to ‘longarm’ as punishment. Yet secretly, in the dark corners of pubs and clubs across the world, we all know it’s true, and what’s worse is that we all know that women all know.

When is it that the social dynamics of a ‘group’ are formed? If it’s just two guys talking to eachother then the topics will vary enormously. Depending on the friend it may include work, family, politics, philosophy, and goodness knows what else. If three friends hang out then the range of topics decrease as obviously the number of shared interests also decline. Four friends? Well now it’s reduced to universal interests such as music and sport. When there are five friends or more together, it’s my experience that unless you’re all spending a lot of time together and sharing loads of interests, the universal topics are those that you can all relate to is shagging, spending and boozing.

Take today for example. Brad and I were in the car driving into town to meet two others. Our conversation ranged from University, Archeology, websites, future plans, Anthropology and recent parties. We met two good friends for a game of Squash ( a shared interest). Sadly (or thankfully as some of the worse players *cough* would say) the courts were full so we went to the pub for a drink, or two…Actually three (another shared interest). Conversation included recent happenings and future plans as well as a bit of sport. Then we were met by another good friend and after about twenty minutes I pointed out to the group that all we had talked about was sex. How much we were having, how much we would be having, but never, ever how much we are not having. That’s against the rules.

Yet Is this really all we want to talk about as a group?

There is only so much one can talk about sex, money and alcohol. I’m a strong believer in that if a man talks about sex for more than five minutes, especially if it’s about how good it is or how much he’s getting, it means that it’s complete bullshit. Yet real men don’t blab on about this stuff, real men save the world from an economic crisis, or poverty, swine flu and even AIDs. I’d like you to read this following excerpt from a GQ article that discusses the meaning of ambition,

“Because we’re a shower, us modern men, composed for the most part of grasping, solipsistic knuckleheads, any game of tennis-elbow-foot that begins with the word “ambition” will quickly and inexorably tumble towards “money”, “power”, “success”. This is not how it ought to be. A Maserati is not an ambition. It’s a fast car. Being headhunted by a hedge fund, buying a second home in Wiltshire, picking your third wife from an online catalogue, watching your collection of Guatemalan sculpture appreciate in value, looking on as your daughter wins Wimbledon… these are goals, perhaps, but they are far too prosaic, too small, to be ambitions.”

No. This isn’t all we want to talk about. These self-gratifying instant pleasures are for boys. Curing cancer, creating an artificial black hole and solving the energy crisis is for men. This unwillingness to grow up, to look at our adolescent dream of fast cars, fast women, instant cash and to honestly say they are crap is the problem. This week I read a status, “David is finally twenteen!” Not the first time I had heard this new number popping up as teenagers seek to prolong their lack of responsibility. What’s next, twenty-thirteen, thirty-one-teen?! It’s time to aim higher, to find ambitions with slim lines of success, to put our skills to use and make this world a better place.

I am Generation Y. Many of you are Generation Y. Together we are more connected then any generation before us. We blog, we text, we Twitter, we Facebook, we call, we meet and we all have access to more of the world’s information as well as each and every human being than ever before. Yet just because there are more strings does not mean they are stronger strings. Having 10,000 friends on Facebook means nothing if you don’t have a relationship with any of them. Our quantity of connections have increased with technology, but our quality of relationships have not. Tribes start small. They are built on trust and honesty. This is why you’ll find groups of men who have real ambitions that talk about anything but sex, money and alcohol.

They will be obsessed, they will keep trying until death takes them and even then their message will spread. They will only talk about what they talk about because it’s their ambition. It’s a real man’s ambition.

Yet don’t assume those who only talk about materialistic prospects lack ambition. I think we all have it somewhere, under that layer of false beliefs. We can feel it; that yearning for more yet not in a self-gratified way. Men who talk about sex, money and alcohol do so because they haven’t found their calling. Sometimes it will take a death, other times an inspirational story or an inability to prevent something catastrophic that tears your heart apart. Just try and find it before your time runs out. My ambition is to explore the bigger systems at play in this world. To try and grasp an understanding at what makes us tick, how we as a species dance to the rhythm of life. And now that I’ve said it, we can stop talking about sex, money and alcohol… well, maybe just a little bit.

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Learn the Basic Definitions

Every educational text will refer to the same terms over and over again. Until you learn what these really mean, you’ll be left in the dark feeling lost. Get a notepad and every time you find a term jot it down and crack open the dictionary. If the specific word doesn’t exist in there, then a quick search on Google, “define: term” will bring you plenty of answers to choose from. Alternatively buy a relevant pocket guide to your topic which includes definitions for the terms. I use The Economist’s Pocket Finance and International Business Terms whilst I read any financial text. Once you have found the term, write it down in your own words and learn it. Cover it up, and write it down again and again until it’s memorised.

Now, when you come back to read the article it’ll make more sense until the next term triumphs you. It’s important to remember that there are a limited number of unknown words, and that eventually you will not need the pocket book any more. At first you may feel that there is no chance in hell, it’s like learning a new language and that the number of acronyms runs to infinity but it doesn’t. Looking at the front page of today’s Financial Times you can see how easy it is to feel lost: FSA, CIT, SWF, KPMG, KKR, equity, funds and bonds. Yet these are only eight terms, three of which refer to individual companies. Learning definitions gives you a huge sense of achievement and will enable you to read with ease.

Learn the History

Often I get stuck when journalists refer to a previous event that I am unknowledgable about. You can’t refer to another story if you haven’t read it yet. Since the FT is 125 years old, that’s a lot of history to catch up on. Every author has read much themselves, and they will almost always refer to something or someone which is like a hint: Go and read this. History teaches many lessons, the only problem is that it takes far too long to learn them all. You have to make an educated decision as to what history would be beneficial to ease Reading Block, and to gain further insight from the text.

My decision was to learn how money came into existence, alongside with the first bank, bond, share, insurance and stock market. A simpler example would be that of a car. Learning how a car was made will enable you to maintain and get the most out of it.

Videos, Podcasts and Novels

There are other mediums of communication out there, and if Reading Block is a problem then perhaps you ought to try something else. Countless TV channels now offer online streaming (BBC iPlayer is a notable example), websites give free podcasts (or give iTunes a quick search) and you could always attend an introductory seminar. Humans process the vast majority of information via visual inputs – there are plenty of statistics out there to prove this – and so high quality (in terms of content) videos can be the quickest way to learn theory and history.

By listening to related podcasts (the FT publishes one daily) and watching videos a picture soon forms behind what the article is saying. Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to step back, learn a new skill and then approach again. Alternatively it could be the way in which the text is written that is problematic. I recently read The Penguin Guide to Finance that explained everything from the Time Value of Money to Speculation and Hedging through a story. It was very easy to read and has enabled a greater understanding of more complex texts for now I can refer to the story.

And it’s this last point of being able to refer to stories that I want to stress. Story telling has always existed in human societies, in all cultures from the beginning of mankind. You see it on the cave walls, you see it in the museums, religious texts, bookshops and of course the internet. We learn stories from the day we are born and the more stories we can relate to, the better grasp of the topic we will have. It may be the case that to understand one text, you will have to read many other stories first, which is why Daniel points out one ought to read books by the same author in order.

• Related blog article - Simple Ways To Become More Attractive

Visit the Location

If it’s possible, go to the place that the text is referring to. There’s a reason why schools organise field-trips, and that’s because it’s one of the best methods of learning. You breathe the same air, you walk the same paths, you see the same things, you eat and drink the same foods and you carry out the same exercise that the author did. Imagine your father trying to teach you fishing, he can give you as many books as he likes, force you to watch tutorials online, talk you through it, even make you listen to audio CDs that represent the noises of the activity…Yet none of this will compare to the benefits of getting hands-on and learning through experience.

I traveled up to the City of London in a suit to do just this. I wanted to find the banks, see what they looked like, watch and meet the people who worked inside them, find out where and what they drink, eat, relax, socialise, work and talk about. Sounds quite weird, but it was one of the most useful things I have done to help remove Reading Block. Now when I read an article, I can picture the company it’s talking of, I can refer to some of the workers I met, I can understand the attitude, the preconceptions and the tone of the text just that little bit better. Meet the people the text is talking about and you’ll soon find it very easy to understand.

• Related Forum Post – Happiness and High Energy

Read Through the Block

The majority of times Reading Block may happen however, is not because of a lack of knowledge, nor experience but actually just the inability to concentrate. It’s the same as Writer’s Block, and the only way to solve it is to just keep reading. To finish a book, you have to start it. And even if for every two pages you read you have to go back one, you’ll get there eventually. Today I sat down at my dining room table, turned off all distractions and simply said I am not leaving until this paper is finished. The golden rule for figuring out a meaning of a word is to read the entire sentence. To find a lesson in a story, you have to finish it so be patient with yourself and the author. Read out loud and keep going back until every sentence is read and understood. As financiers would say, keep reading – it pays dividends.

• Related Forum Post – Reading!!!

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To achieve a goal, sometimes it helps to become obsessed with it: to work at it arduously; to think about it all day; to dream about it at night and to talk about it consistently. An obsession can turn into an addiction – it becomes your source of enjoyment and if you enjoy working towards your goal that can only be a good thing, right?

For the last two weeks I’ve been working towards a goal: Gaining an Easter and Summer internship at a major bank in London. It started as just a mild curiosity – a few friends had done and recommended it, pointed me in the right direction and always an optimist I went for it like the carrot and the stick. Finance, I thought, what do I have to learn to be good at this? The answer is, as some investors will heartily answer, everything. Having previously studied Economics, I couldn’t say I was a complete novice to finance, but if I were to accomplish my goal a serious thinking cap had to be put on. So I changed the question to what don’t I know?

Reading through a few copies of Investors Chronicle back-to-back (no mean feat!), I highlighted every term that I didn’t know with a red pen. When I flicked back through the pages, it looked as if someone had had a nosebleed all over my magazines. It didn’t take long to realize that I had to know the basics first to be able to read a similar text comfortably and take some relevant lessons. All new topics, subjects and disciplines have their own language, they have unique vocabulary, jargon, phrases and humourus sayings that without a basic understanding forthwrightly would not come about with ease. For instance, when discussing the stock market you may hear quite often the terms bull and bear. Bull means it’s going up, bear means it’s going down ( created out of the attack styles of the animals).

To realise what you don’t know is a painful, but a very revealing exercise. It not only shows you great weaknesses in knowledge, but also new avenues to explore. With a new exercise book at the ready, I listed all the terms that I did not know and started researching definitions for them. This process is constantly ongoing because with every question answered, a whole new topic is revealed. For example, I’m currently investigating the tell-tale signs of a ‘market top’ – when the stock market is about to reach a peak. One sign is that of liquidity (a whole new topic), another is volatility plus eleven other ‘trading secrets’. It takes a very long time to investigate each of these and if you manage, it I’m sure you (like me) will be starting to become obsessed.

It was only once I started to develop these foundations that I could read a financial text and enjoy it. I actually found myself laughing at some of the quips, to which I then laughed even more – gaining enjoyment out of an obsession. It was at this point exactly that I realized that for as long as my curiosity leads to enjoyment I could accomplish this goal. If you’re not enjoying the journey, then what’s to say you’ll enjoy the result? There are many financiers, or students seeking to be, who have this goal in mind to become super-rich leading to happiness. They work all day and night in boredom and depression trudging aimlessly to a goal which won’t make them happy. At first you may be daunted by the task ahead; finding that you are essentially an infant in this new quest for knowledge and experience is not a pleasant realization. But once the wagon gets rolling, if you’re still not enjoying it then perhaps you should jump off before it’s too late.

Three nights ago, however, I could not sleep. The obsession had turned into an addiction and I was literally having withdrawal symptoms as I tried to get away from my thoughts. A friend had sent me a link earlier that day to Barclays internship webpage, where on it was a podcast from a recruitment employee talking to a bunch of wanna-be interns last year. As I listened to it, I was actually nervous. It was like I was in that room, he was talking to me, and I was shitting myself.

“You should be reading the FT everyday for three months. The Economist every week, and practicing GMAT questions until you can do them blindfolded. You should be able to answer whether you think oil prices will go up or down, and more importantly why. We get twenty thousand applicants to six hundred places, if you want this, you have to fight for it.”

Despite all my previous reading and learning, I did not feel in the slightest confident enough to take these guys and girls on. And I still don’t now…Not yet. It was time to seek help, to surround myself with like minded individuals as I had learnt so many times before in self improvement. I called every friend who had experience with applying or gaining internships, I began to hang out with them, talk to them constantly about it (if they’re reading this now, thank you!) follow up on all their advice, where to go, what to read, what to learn and who to talk to. I spoke to my Dad about it who thankfully works in a relevant sector and so he more than happily dished out countless texts, newspapers and magazines on my desk. Every string was pulled and by the end of the day. I sat there bewildered at the shere volume of stuff I had to sift through. My mind was on overdrive, I felt crap, I felt like I was doomed to fail and that I was being ridiculous to even have the audacity to try.

But then a thought set in: Goals are never easy to achieve, indeed you probably wouldn’t set one if they were. Yet there are some goals that will consume you, or at least try to and that’s what happened to me that night. I’m unsure whether it’s healthy or not to get so involved, so commited but looking back now despite only being three days ago I don’t regret it. I knew how to deal with stress – step back and observe the situation, so that’s exactly what I did. With some deep breathing I meditated until all thoughts came to a calm, then I tried to sleep and failed. Ah well.

This is an obsession now, and since that morning I’ve been growing in confidence as the pieces of this giant jigsaw come together. I have been reading the FT everyday, I will be reading the Economist every week (it comes out tomorrow), I have been reading the Investors Chronicle, finanical texts, practicing GMAT questions (mathematics test used in recruiting for management and financial institutions), learning more and more definitions, financial history and synoptic links but this is only worthwhile if I keep my eye on the ball. Sometimes a goal can go out of focus and it’s important to reign it in. For example, in a game of soccer, you need to keep your eye on both the ball and the goal.

For this reason I’ve also been researching the application processes, calling up all contacts and trying to get work experience to strengthen my CV. Thankfully I’ve gained a week or two at the FT, and may also have a week in Barclay’s. In this world of qualifications there is still a prevalence for the age old saying it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Perhaps most importantly however, I started early. When asking yourself ‘when should I start this?’ The answer is almost always ‘five years ago’. Knowing your deadlines adds to your drive, so if you don’t have one, create one and stick to it. An obsession is diluted with time however, for if I knew I had many years to accomplish this I would by no means be striving so hard to accomplish it. Because I only have until September, I know that every second counted is a second wasted. If you do create a deadline, make it difficult for yourself, make it a challenge.

Obsessions get things done. Perhaps in a month’s time I’ll look back and say, you call THAT an obsession?! Yet at least I know that I’m enjoying this journey despite it’s pressures and that’s the crucial part. An obsession is only bad if it’s a) detrimental to your health, b) causing negative effects to third parties or c) something you don’t enjoy. I don’t think I’ve ever been so engulfed in something that isn’t love before. It’s a good feeling, waking up with a purpose, a goal and direction for the day and so I highly recommend it.

Join our PUALifestyle Facebook Group to gain access to exclusive content, and to receive notifications of new articles via Facebook email. Meet other readers, discuss the latest and much, much more. Take a look at our online forum to see what the PUALifestyle gang is getting up to and join nearly 2000 others on Twitter following @DanielBecerra

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BBC reports that positive statements make you feel worse. But what if you’re stating the wrong things?

Self help is sometimes given a bad name. On July 3rd, the BBC reported that Canadian researchers found that ‘those with low self-esteem actually felt worse after repeating positive statements about themselves.’ (read article here)

Yet I believe this only happens when one tries to motivate themselves to do things that are not  in their true interests or they don’t combine positive statements with active progress.

A UK psychologist said people based their feelings about themselves on real evidence from their lives- whenever we feel that we have low self esteem, it’s based on real life experiences. Sounds obvious to me. So simply saying repeatedly to yourself, “I am confident. I have high self esteem” without real evidence will not work. Repeating positive statements derives from Victorian Samuel Smiles 150 years ago in his book ‘Self Help’.

Autosuggestion, made more popular by Napoleon Hill in ‘Think and Grow Rich’, is a ‘term that applies to all suggestions and all self-administered stimuli that reach ones mind through the five senses. Stated in another way, autosuggestion is self-suggestion.’

Hill noted more than 70 years ago that ‘the mere reading of the words is of no consequence unless you mix emotion, or feeling, with your words.’ In what seems like a forerunner to the Canadian research, he writes, ‘If you repeat a million times the famous Emil Coue formula, “Day by day, in every way, I am getting better and better”, without mixing emotion and faith with your words, you will experience no desirable results.’ (italics included). Faith is belief, and as we’ve already noted belief comes from real life experience. In order to believe you are ‘getting better and better’ you have to prove it to yourself by making active progress.

• Relevant forum post: Think and Grow Rich Book Club

What do I mean by active progress? This entails that you are making a conscious effort to improve your circumstances. That you are not just repeating positive statements, but combining them with different activities with the aim to further your position.

Imagine for an instant that you’re terrible at making money. You’ve never earnt much, you’ve always spent more, you can’t save nor invest. You believe you’re renegade gambler, and everyone else believes it too. Just by autosuggesting ‘I will make some money, I will save, I will invest’ will not get you anywhere. You will not have faith until you actually start earning and saving: Make active progress.

• Relevant forum post: Use the power of now

Simon Gelsthorpe, a psychologist with Bradford District Care Trust and spokesman for the British Psychological Society, said self-esteem was based on a range of real life factors, and that counseling to build confidence – rather than telling yourself things are better than they are – was the solution.

Find your true interests and say the right things

Many self help guides simply explain to tell yourself that you are confident before and after you sleep. Yet what if confidence (or whatever the subject matter is) is not your true interest? How do you find what’s really the cause?

To find your true interests or where your problems lie ask yourself for the evidence. Let’s assume again you believe you’re terrible at making money. Where’s the evidence? At first you may think that the evidence is on the bank statement, but actually this does not show directly that you are bad at making money. How many times have you really, really tried to make money? How many times have you developed a plan to provide positive value to others, executed it, and failed to earn? List your real evidence and then take a step back.

• Relevant blog post: Explore the Ego

For every single thing listed explore it and ask yourself why you failed. It may be the case that you lacked confidence to make that one sales approach, or that you messed up your organisational roles. Perhaps you didn’t have a well defined goal, or that someone else in your team didn’t pull their weight. Either way a new true interest has been found. It’s not that you need to learn how to make money, it’s that you need to improve your confidence, organisation or motivational skills. Autosuggesting these right things will have a far greater impact as you have evidence and thus faith.

True interests help stick you to that goal

It is often the case that we set ourselves goals that dwindle out of existence. I’ve experienced this over and over again (some of which you can read in my online journal) because I haven’t aligned myself with true interests. How many times have you woken up one day and said, right this is it. I’m going to be dedicated to this goal until it’s achieved! Only to give in ten minutes later? Images of resisting video games to revise during high school exams pop up here. Once a true interest has been found you must set a clear, defined goal.

Napoleon Hill has these three steps for autosuggestion:

1. Go into some quiet spot (preferably in bed at night) where you will not be disturbed or interrupted. Close your eyes and repeat aloud (so you may hear your own words) the written statement of the amount of money you intend to accumulate, the time limit for its accumulation, and a description of the service or merchandise you intend to give in return for the money. As you carry out these instructions, see yourself already in possession of the money. For example: suppose you intend to accumulate $100,000 by the first of Januray, five years hence, and that you intend to give personal services in return for the money in the capacity of a sales representative. Your written statement of your purpose should be similar to the following:

‘By the first day of January 20… I will have in my possession $100,000, which will come to me in various amounts from time to time during the interim. In return for this money I will give the most efficient service of which I am capable, redering the fullest possible quantity and the best possible quality of service as a sales representative of (describe the service or merchandise you intend to sell). I believe I will have this money in my possession. My faith is so strong that I can now see this money before my eyes. I can touch it with my hands. It is now awaiting transfer to me in the proportion that I deliver the service I intend to render in return for it. I am awaiing a plan by which to accumulate this money, and I will follow that plan when it is received.’

2. Repeat this programme night and mornign until you can see (in your imagination) the money you intend to accumulate.

3. Place a written copy of your statement where you can see it night and morning. Read it just before retiring and upon rising until it has been memorised.

• Relevant forum category: Effectiveness, Goals and Intentions

Conclusion

Those with low self esteem will not feel better until they address the right problems, find their true interests and then make active progress towards them whilst repeating positive statements. Saying ‘I am confident’ will only work if you have evidence and thus faith. Even if it’s only the tiniest of things that you’ve done, saying it then will have a far greater weight and influence because no matter how small, it’s significant. Positive thoughts need actions to anchor them. So now that you’ve read all this – and I thank you – do you think that you’ve ever ‘suffered’ from self help?

• Relevant Wikipedia page: Neuro-linguistic programming (anchoring)

Join our PUA Lifestyle Facebook Group to gain access to exclusive content, and to receive notifications of new articles via Facebook email. Meet other readers, discuss the latest and much, much more. Take a look at our online forum to see what the PUA Lifestyle gang are getting up to and join nearly 2000 others on Twitter following @DanielBecerra

I saw a man get hit by a car yesterday afternoon. It was a small hatchback, silver in colour that wasn’t traveling fast but enough to cripple a surprised pedestrian with a walking stick. There was no screech of the brakes, but rather a dull thump followed by a shriek from the young girl behind the steering wheel. I witnessed this from the other side of a two part road crossing, and wondered why out of the five people standing near him, not one had seen if he was alright yet. Putting my hand out to stop oncoming traffic I ran towards him, and despite being one of the furthest away, arrived first. Later on Twitter I ranted,

This was shortly replied by my good friend @ajhenry,

Although I had heard of the ‘bystander effect’ many times before, I hadn’t ever been consciously aware of it. By definition it refers to a social phenomenon in which individuals are less likely to offer help in an emergency situation when other people are present. The probability of help is inversely proportional to the number of bystanders. In other words, the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that any one of them will help.

Explanation of The Bystander Effect

As @catfishmaw explained, since the Kitty Genovese case – stabbed to death in 1964. The killing took half an hour, with 38 witnesses and not one intervened or even called the police – there has been huge amounts of psychological research in this area. Social psychologists have managed to demonstrate the effect within ‘labatories’ and now focus on two factors.

Firstly is the case of pluralistic ignorance. What happens is that people ‘monitor the reactions of other people in an emergency situation to see if others think that it is necessary to intervene. Since everyone is doing exactly the same thing (nothing), they all conclude from the inaction of others that help is not needed.’ Sounds bizarre but thinking about it you see the phenomenon everywhere. Imagine you’re inside a shopping centre, a fire alarm goes off but if no one else leaves, then neither do you. What about on a rugby pitch? A member of the other team has broken through your line of defense, if no one else is chasing him, it’s far less likely you will too.

What about a fight outside a nightclub? There are bouncers there, alongside with members of the public – you feel much less inclined to involve yourself than if it were just you. Yet in actual fact this is another reason why people may not help. ‘They may assume that other bystanders are more qualified to help, such as doctors or police officers, and that their intervention would be unneeded.’

The second major factor is known as diffusion of responsibility. During an accident, people assume that someone else is going to intervene and so are less inclined to act individually. This happens on a regular occasion within the London Underground. If a man jumps on the tracks, people at the other end of the platform feel less responsible to react because there are others closer to him.

Of course there are other possible reasons. For example bystanders may feel that it would be a risk to get involved – they might get hit by the train as well. Or that they’d lose face with friends, family and colleagues. This latter motive is very common especially when concerned with interrupting rowdy, anti-social behavior. How many times have you sat on a train and listened to Chavs (don’t know what this is?) ‘pump’ out their tinny (what they think is good) drum and bass on their phone, talking with vulgarities about one of their mate’s sister or mum? More importantly, how many times have you wanted to get a baseball bat of your own and clobber them over the head, but only to be stopped by a friend who is saying, ” don’t do it, just ignore them” ?

To make matters worse these days, there are many laws that may make the witness liable to prosecution. This worsens the bystander effect as people fear having to go to court etc. However, in some European countries (mainly the non-English speaking ones) they have a Good Samaritan Law which neutralizes this threat.

How To Diffuse The Bystander Effect

As @henryaj said, the best way of stopping the bystander effect is to be aware of it. But do you guys think about this? Have you ever experienced something like this? I have a feeling that every time you see something happening that requires assistance from other people, check to see if the bystander effect is taking place. If no one is doing anything, that does not mean nothing needs to be done. Be aware and take action as an individual. Don’t wait for the group, because the group is waiting for you. What other methods do you think exist that could prevent the Bystander Effect?

When you are the victim requiring assistance, point to an individual and ask for their help specifically. When the man was hit by the car, I experienced this for when asked, “has anyone called an ambulance?” no one replied. Only when I turned to a lady on my right and requested that she personally dialed for emergency services  did she act. So when you need help, shout out “hey you, in the red t-shirt, please stop this chav from punching me!”

Make a habit out of taking action. Now you know why people don’t, it serves as a motive for you to act. Be a good samaritan, help save a life.

Other Reading

• “Don’t Just Stand There – Do Something”, Safety Canada, January 2004.
• The Bystander’s Dilemma, Greater Good 3(2), Fall/Winter 2006-2007.
• “I kept saying, ‘Help me, help me.’ But no one did.” by Tara McCartney, The Guardian, August 4, 2005.

It’d be very interesting to see your views on this topic, especially any similar experiences or just points of view. If you’re reading this article on Facebook, then please comment here. Don’t forget to check out our free online forum with over 1,400 members.

Note from Daniel:

Tom, great write up for this article. The bystander effect is really quite something. I too have had experiences in which people just didn’t seem to react. Once as I stepped out of a club, one car recklessly hit a parked car from the side and just took off. I was two blocks away when I saw this and everyone just looked and commenting on what they should do. I immediately ran toward the car to check if there was people inside. Fortunately there was no one. I talked to the people watching and had them call the cops since some of them thought they read the driver’s plates. I was dumb-founded by the experience. So I talked to a friend about it. We realized it’s not only to save lives but for many other things. We came out with the following analogies:

With girls: Often we see that girl getting yelled at by her boyfriend/husband. This should be stopped. It happens quite often and it’s good to know that there are people who stop a guy who is being rude. However, there is also the girl who is uncomfortably sitting by a guy who’s boring her to death and she is just being nice. You can save her from boredom and bring her a new experience. Every guy in there knows that she’s bored. The problem is that they too wonder ‘Will I bore her?’. If you can be that guy who overcomes the ‘bystander effect’, then you’re really making something happen with the girl.

With family: How often do we witness injustice in the family? It might not be violence, but injustice is just as bad. When you see your aunt being nice to one of your cousins and mean to the other, then you know something is wrong. Overcoming the ‘bystander effect’ calls for action in important situations. Family is surely one of them. Do something.

There are plenty of other cases (job, school, etc) but the point is that overcoming or being aware of the ‘bystander effect’ is power. As Tom said, next time you see a situation that may call for your action, ask yourself ‘who’s falling in this bystander effect?’. Then tell yourself that it won’t be you.

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• I was reading my travel diary last night, and I came across an interesting statement that I had forgotten: People shape your world.

The journal entry talks about how I met someone who had just broken up with her boyfriend, and a friend of hers told me it had been a waste of time. Yet I disagreed, writing ‘Everyone you meet changes your perception about something, and so even when they have left, you still ‘have’ a part of them because their thoughts alter your view of the world. For example, if someone teaches you the star constellations, every time you see the stars, you will see them differently. If someone’s favorite color is yellow, you may find more beauty in yellow things. So it’s never a waste. With knowledge comes beauty as well as wisdom.’

Finding the right people

There are some that will alter your perception of world in a negative way. This is a parents nightmare. Your kid starts hanging out with ‘bad influences’ and before you know it school grades have gone down, but nights out are on the rise. At work, there are those that’ll bitch to you about colleagues, or moan about pay. These people won’t help you further your career so watch out. In life there are friends that’ll inspire you, and there are some that’ll deepen the rut in which you’re stuck. Finding the right people to shape your world is crucial to a positive change in perception.

What do the right people wear?

It’s impossible to tell from first glance who the ‘right people’ are. So give everyone a chance. Assume rapport from the moment you meet them and ask questions. Get to know them and establish the truths behind the customary half-truths that we all give during first encounters. I heard once not to trust men wearing ties, but at school everyone had to wear a tie, at work everyone wears a tie, at formal gatherings all men wear ties…So I decided not to trust the man who told me this rule. Only once you feel that you have gotten to know someone; their beliefs, lifestyle, habits, characteristics etc. can you decide whether or not to follow their shaping. Although, just by this encounter they will have already changed your perception of the world in strange ways.

Who shapes the world: Them or me?

It’s your perception that is being changed and it’s your brain doing the changing. The people you meet simply send inputs. These inputs (e.g. information about star constellations) are simply bits of data that are organized and interpreted by you. They are seen through your lens.  Each bit of data or input affects the outcome of every other bit of data received or about to be received. Say for instance you learn that Christopher Columbus was a great man. He traveled the world and conquered great lands. When you read about other travelers Columbus comes to mind, and you begin to develop a great interest in traveling, the old colonial days and history. Then you learn a different truth: Christopher Columbus was a bad man. He promoted slavery, racism and killed thousands of natives as he stole their land. All previous interests are now in jeopardy; when you meet other travelers you wonder about their intentions; when you watch colonial history programs there is a side of you that questions the evil, the darkness.

It’s you who decides how to interpret the ‘truth’. Which is why Judges in Courts of Law dedicate their lives to finding out all different sides of the story to gain a balanced argument.

Look out for the invisible man

However it is often the people you don’t meet that shape your world the most. How many times on the dance floor have you laughed at someone trying to do the moonwalk? You can thank (the now deceased – may he rest in peace) Michael Jackson for those times. Are you living above the poverty line? It could be the case that you have Gordon Brown to thank, for he has brought over 600,000 children and a million pensioners out of poverty. Do you understand the concept of gravity? It was Sir Isaac Newton that brought this comprehension into your life. The people that work behind the scenes (including your parents) are the ones that really shape your world. They’re the ones that work to make it a better place, to help you climb the steps of life.

More paint means more colors

Entertain your mind with as many opinions (and thus people) as possible. The more you have, the more shape your world will take. The more shape, the more beauty. Read enough, listen intensively, watch carefully, live large. These are the words that’ll enable your world to take shape.

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It’s good to try new things. New foods, new drinks, new places, new clothes, new activities, new positions, new people, new music, new news, new beliefs and new ways of thinking. It’s healthy for the brain and the body.

When we get stuck in routines, we begin to live an automatic life. The mind learns through patterns: four wheels is a car and two wheels is a bike. Blue is cold, red is hot. When you get a nine-to-five job, life very quickly forms a routine. You wake up early, you get stuck in a traffic jam, you have a cup of coffee at work, you work, eat lunch,  come home, TV on, feet on sofa and sleep. A.K.A boring.

By trying out new things you stimulate the mind. You develop an environment for growth, learning and fun. For the last five months I’ve been experiencing new things whilst traveling around the world. Never before had I done mountain biking, never before had I even ridden a motorbike (you have to learn quickly for that), last week I went Skydiving, and two months ago you would have found me swimming with sharks. I’ll share with you one thing, when you do these new things time goes much, much slower. Which is a good thing in case you were wondering.

The so called ‘nanny-state’ has gained a bad reputation because children are not experiencing illnesses any more. How can you expect to be a good fighter if you’ve never been hit before? How can you get back up again, if you’ve never fallen? You have to experience the lows, to realize and appreciate the highs. Not only does trying out new things give you opportunity to learn, it also allows you to make mistakes and to learn from them.

Mistakes are beautiful things, as I experienced when putting the throttle down way too far on the motorbike. Falling asleep in the sun without sun protection was also a costly mistake yet both times my lessons have been learnt. And that’s the greatest part of curiosity.

“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.”

- Albert Einstein

No one wants to do the same thing every day; the monotomy of it is terrifying as David Eagleman explains in Sum: Forty Tales From The Afterlives. In his book, he describes a possible idea for an afterlife, whereby you relive all your experiences in carefully categorized groups: sleeping 30 years straight, sitting five months on the toilet, spending 200 days in the shower, and so forth. Imagine if this were true, how many days would you be sitting in a traffic jam for? Mindlessly reading magazines, wondering what to do, throwing up or even yawning?

Try new things because they make you feel alive. It’s not difficult either; go to a different restaurant, send a text to your partner with a compliment you’ve never said before or even just go commando for a day. Come on lads, it’s not like you haven’t wanted to try it.

Spontaneity related posts are littered across the forum (which if you haven’t already, JOIN), 12,099 people searched Google for it last year – so it is important to us. Take a day off work, and do something crazy. Travel somewhere, go swimming, running or dancing but do something new! These moments create stories, and stories can be used whilst dating. No girl enjoys listening to “I work behind a desk and my Blackberry 24/7″. I remember in Northern Thailand when I burst out laughing at an innocent question a nice girl asked, “what have you been up to?” because my answer was so bizarre,

“Well, for the last three days I’ve been hiking through the rain forest. I climbed up several mountains, swam under waterfalls, lived with the hill tribes and learnt to play the guitar. With several others, I trekked down river on Elephants, then when rapids appeared we created two bamboo rafts and rode the waters for several hours. Finally, after reaching civilization I visited a Buddhist Wat and meditated with the monks before finishing the weekend with an amazing Thai massage.”

Of course these activities aren’t accessible to us all so we have to make do with other devices, which as Ian Smith writes, this very much includes sex:

• Simple Steps For Turning Good Sex Into Great Sex

Here’s a list of ten new things you can try now in order to get those creative juices going:

1. Find a new recipe, and get cooking.
2. Give your partner a new compliment.
3. Wear something you’d never dare to normally.
4. Do a different exercise.
5. Go somewhere you’ve never been before.
6. Call a friend you haven’t spoken to in years.
7. Go commando for a day.
8. Try a new sex position.
9. Stay up a few more hours then normal.
10. Watch a new film.

These are all things you can do but there are also new ways you can think. Yes Man by Danny Wallace is a great example of how life changing a new perspective can be.  A simple change in how you think could alter your life hugely. Take a new look at things, say Yes instead of No, and No instead of Yes. Have a read of other religions, there’s a whole host to choose from:

• Buddhism for Beginners
• Christianity for Beginners
• Islam for Beginners
• Hinduism for Beginners

Even if you don’t take up any new beliefs, you will learn about other peoples belief’s and thus prejudices may be removed, making you a worldier man. Life is more fun when you’re doing things that are new, and the best part is sharing the adventure with your friends afterwards. So all I ask you to do is pick up a pen and write down something new you want to try, then do it.

We all have our unique strengths and it’s important to embrace them.

Forum member Chikito mentioned something very important to me last night on Facebook (add us all here): We should focus on our strengths more than our weaknesses. It’s human nature to think of the bad things in life, and it’s often said that you don’t appreciate the good things until they are gone. Well this article is going to change all that because I ask you to do one thing: Find and develop your strengths. When writing a CV or a letter to any educational position it’s important to put across your strengths. In all interviews they want to know what you’re good at, and the exact same applies to a dinner out with your partner. They don’t want to hear a wing about work, they want to hear what you’re good at!

So then, what are your skills? It could be anything, and there’s no answer too small or irrelevant. Are you good at socializing, dancing, photography, mathematics, car modifications or playing a musical instrument? Are you good at talking on the phone for hours at length? Are you good at choosing the correct clothes for different events? Perhaps your strength lies with an academic subject or a sport?

Do not focus so much on your weaknesses, for your weakness can be someone else’s strength. And it will be a greater strength in itself to work with this person.

Strengths tend to be grouped, so if you’re good at one thing it’s normally the case that you’ll share that gift for another similar activity. For example if you’re good at photography, then you’ll probably pick up film and graphic design relatively easily. If you’re good at talking, then you might be able to write influential speeches with a bit of practice. Being good at one thing tends to mean that you’re good at a whole host of activities – so find your strength and then you can develop many more. You like swimming? Then try wake boarding.

University

Once you have pinpointed exactly where your strengths lie, come up with all related activities. By trying these new things, you’re most likely to develop greater strengths and passion for this area of expertise. And the world needs specialists. This is the step-by-step process that nearly all University degree programmes go through: In the first year you study a broad subject including modules from all sub-disciplines. Then in the second year you choose to narrow it down a bit, and focus more on the sub-disciplines you enjoy. By the third or fourth year you have specialized into the sub-discipline that you have the greatest strength and passion for.

Business

In Business though, it’s good to flip this specialization around and continue to try out new branches. Air Asia‘s business guru Tony Fernandes is known to spend several days of the year trying out all aspects of the company such as being the Check-In Assistant, Baggage Handler and Aircraft Attendant. Having a wide knowledge and experience helps develop strong foundations on which to focus on your strengths.

Relationships

Attraction is built on the exchange of positive value. Your strengths are your positive value, and the more of it that you have to give the more attractive you are. If you talk about your weaknesses all the time, not only is it boring, it’s exchanging negative value. Imagine an Alpha Lion saying to his Mare, “Sweetheart, I can’t hunt, I can’t fight, and I can’t lead my brothers. But please stay with me.” Realise that you do have strengths and thus positive value to give and you are already one step ahead. Never think that what your strengths are aren’t attractive because this simply isn’t true. There are potential partners out there that love the same thing as you, no matter how specialist and bizarre (read – The Art Of Speaking Little and Saying a lot). Although your date loves you to have many strengths, don’t be blind your weaknesses. Being able to recognize and beware of your weaknesses is a strength in itself.

Comparative Advantage

Some people are just better suited to certain things. It may be due to nature or nurture it doesn’t matter. So if there is a particular subject you’re terrible at, don’t fret too much. There will be other people probably very close to you (as Forum member Tonatiuh8 explains here) who are good at these things, and it’d be of greater benefit to focus on learning how to communicate with them so that together you can be a team (read – The Importance Of Being On A Team!). There’s no point filling your brain with irrelevant information that you’re never going to use nor enjoy.

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it’s letting go.”

What are your strengths then? Take action now and reply beneath.

The human smile is the most recognisable expression of fun and love across all cultures.

It’s the number one lesson taught in all dating advice programs, business interview training schemes and cross-cultural preparations. Even more, it’s the easiest thing to do! Which is why it’s very important to perfect your smile and have great teeth.

Culture

There are many confusing aspects of different cultures. You can witness this when it comes to greetings: A firm handshake in Australia or a three-kiss peck in only particular parts of Belgium? You wouldn’t give a hug to a female in Afghanistan, although you would quite keenly in England. Yet a smile is welcomed everywhere, and as Charles Darwin explained in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (buy here) it’s the smile that can be recognised from the greatest of distances.

“9 out of 10 people believe an attractive smile serves as a critical asset”

Disarming Smile

As I travelled across the globe, I very quickly learnt how important a smile is in disarming strangers as you approach. Often people are scared of going up to new people because they could be a threat, when in reality it’s you that’s perceived as a threat. Imagine sitting down with your friends, and a muscular male confidently strides up, if he smiles genuinely (with the eyes) then you know he isn’t a threat. On the other hand if he’s looking glum, angry or mischevious then there’s that strange inclination that he’s up to something. A smile with teeth helps everyone.

Whether it’s your first date or a sales pitch for your business, a smile gets everyone connected and at ease. This is because smiles are contagious:

Smile For Statistics

Surveys in Australia revealed that 9 out of 10 people believe an attractive smile serves as a critical asset and about 90 percent of both women and men assert that they remember someone with an attractive, healthy smile. The survey also determined that 8 out of 10 people believe that an unattractive smile makes an individual less appealing to someone of the opposite sex.

In a survey conducted by London Guildhall University of 11,000 people revealed that attractive people earn more in their careers, while less attractive people earned about 13 percent less. Cultures perceive beauty differently. For instance, while Western cultures associate attractive people with assertive personalities, Asian cultures assign sensitive and compassionate natures to attractive people. However, most cultures rely on physical beauty to determine the worth or good nature of a person.

When you smile, people form opinions regarding your friendliness, openness, intelligence and social status.

Get The Perfect Smile

Now that we’ve gone through the benefits of showing off your pearly whites, you’ll be happy to read the following tips to gaining gleaming white teeth:

1. Brush Regulary

O.K. so this is obvious. Brush twice a day for two minutes minimum. Use a long handled brush or an electric one and don’t be mean with the toothpaste. Move in a circular motion rather than back and forth vigorously, to avoid wearing down the enamle. Make sure you brush the gums too, a little bit of bleeding is fine (some dentists argue it’s a good thing) as it strengthens the tissue.

2. Use Correct Toothpaste

With thousands of brands, types and flavours to choose from, it’s good to know that any toothpaste is better than none. If you have sensitive teeth, then use specialist brands such as Sensodyne. Whitening toothpaste simply has larger particles which cause more abrasion in the mouth. It removes plaque to a greater degree thus giving a whiter appearance. It’s good to use for a while, especially if you’ve been drinking a fair bit of red wine recently. Yet don’t use it constantly because it can wear down the actual enamle of the tooth to a dangerous level.

3. Visit Your Dentist

Every six months is the recommended frequency to the dentist, but as I’m sure you’ve experienced once your in the chair you don’t normally know what he’s talking about to his assistant, “alpha B, pro-plastic level 7…” Private dentists are expensive so it’s important to work together to find your perfect smile. Your Guide to the Perfect Smile is a visual feast that celebrates the beauty of the human smile and shows you how you can work with your dentist to find your perfect smile. The book is equal parts dentistry and fashion, explaining the design principles behind beauty in general and smiles in particular. Covering the ten principles of smile design, the book advises you on how to work with your dentist to get that beautiful smile you so richly deserve. Buy From Amazon Here

4. Use Floss

The title says it all, experiment with a cheap packet of floss and try before and after brushing.

Conclusion

With a brilliant white set of teeth shining away in the sunlight, you’ll be an unstoppable force in the day-to-day activities of life. Everytime you make eye contact with a stranger, smile away with pride and you’ll very quickly receive them in reciprocation. In business, dating, married life or with your friends, smiling is the simple expression that is both contagious and emotionally satisfying. A smile a day will help you work, rest and play.