The Ego is your self identity, it is who you think you are and the first step to achieving growth is to find it; to explore your personality, behaviors and characteristics because in one way or another they influence the opportunities presented to you in life.

In Brief: Learn about yourself, your strengths and weaknesses so that you can work on them. When opportunity comes, you’ll be able to grasp it with less difficulty. This long article contains three techniques to explore your personality:

1. Ask questions
2. Analyze life experiences
3. Find your reflection

Introduction

‘Ego’ derives from the Ancient Greeks to mean I am. Ask yourself now this question: Who am I? When learning foreign languages one of the first things you are taught is how to present yourself by name, but what does this really mean? When Robert Hawkings, a physicist of Stanford University, USA asked me to tell him about myself, I began with descriptions: Things I enjoy, preferences, sports, music, stories and skills. Contrary to what a name suggests, who you are is not a single entity but rather a combination of complex factors that create a personality.

I met Robert Hawkings and we became instant friends when I shared my enthusiasm for a book he was reading, The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins. Whether we would have ever become acquainted without my previous reading of the book one will never know. But it is how I came into possession of the book that is interesting. Through the willingness to explore my self-identity in Bangkok I was able to find several opportunities which beautified my life.

During a rural excursion in Chiang Mai, North Thailand, a chemical engineer named Aaron explained to me the possibility that our decisions in life are derived from a genetic level. That we (in terms of human body and mind) are survival machines, and that all our choices are created from their (the genes) desire to survive. He recommended Dawkin’s book which I read with a fascinated earnest.

An openness to change and knowledge allowed me to develop a previously nonexistent passion for science. So when Hawkings sat next to me on a busy bus, I saw the opportunity and grabbed it. What followed were multiple conversations, hours in length long into the night about the universe and CHAOS theory. I woke up that next morning with a new perception of the world: A better one.

From this encounter my self-identity had changed (or perhaps even improved). By exploring your personality; Who you are, one is able to promote greater levels of self-development.

1. Ask Questions

The easiest way to learn about yourself is to ask questions and answer them truthfully, to the very best of your ability. By exploring your self-identity you will find your strengths and weaknesses which can then be used to develop wealth and success.

This was made apparent to me whilst relaxing at a Raggae bar in Langkawi, Malaysia. Accompanying me was an English girl who asked a question I had never heard before, “What is the last thing you tell people about yourself?” It took a long while before a truthful answer was given and afterwards in bed I contemplated the question. Many of the answers which flashed before the mind had no logical reason as to why they should be kept secret, and so in my travel journal I wrote a list of questions in an attempt to learn more about myself.

Daniel explains in How To Use A Journal that asking yourself constructive questions constantly is a profitable exercise that requires very little effort. He argues that although your subconscious may have all the answers, they are muddled in such a way that they make no logical sense. Fragmented memories do not conjoin in a sequential order and so often irrational beliefs are created. Beliefs that are negative and deconstructive.

Meditation allows you to experience this first hand. Sitting in a circle of twenty men and women I watched thoughts flutter by in a Buddhism class. Buddhist meditation teaches to be a witness of your thoughts, to stand high on a hill and watch the clouds go by. At first these clouds are sporadic, random in shape, colour and size, but then after a while they become calm. A Thai Monk Liu Nii, agreed with Daniel’s advice, saying that often he (Liu Nii) exercises in a Question Injection routine where by during meditation he would fire a single question into his mind, and then witness all the sub-conscious thoughts come forward. Then using the conscious mind he could fragment the clutter and find an answer to the question.

This powerful exercise can be done just as well with a piece of paper and a pen. What follows is a list of ten questions that will enable you to explore your ego. Try to answer them in depth, and don’t stop until they have all been completed. If you do find difficulty in answering one, note down possible reasons for the hesitation.

1. What do you think your strengths are and why?
2. What do you think your weaknesses are and why?
3. What are your interests and why?
4. What are your fears?
5. Where do you see yourself in two, five and ten years time?
6. What do you over-indulge yourself in and why?
7. What are your goals, dreams and ambitions?
8. What are the interests of your friends?
9. Does anyone in particular inspire you?
10. How would you describe yourself to a blind man?

Write these answers truthfully and store them so that once you have finished this article, you may come back in a week or month and answer them again. The difference will be astounding.

2. Analyze Life Experiences

Asking questions is one way of learning about your self-identity, but another equally powerful tool is that of analyzing life experiences. During unpredictable moments of your life, one’s true colors are shown. All those subconscious thoughts, emotions and memories are instantly put into play. They way you react gives a clear insight into your Ego, your core beliefs, strengths and weaknesses. These moments are rare and unforgettable.

At that same Raggae Bar I approached two girls and asked if I could join them.

“Yeah, of course!” Chirped back a long-blonde haired Essex girl merrily. For a few minutes we built rapport and held decent conversation. She then inquired into “[my] story” to which I replied, “Well I’m actually at the very beginning of my trip. Maybe you could give me some words of wisdom. What’s the craziest thing to have happened to you?” What followed was quite a surprise.

“I was raped, twice.”

When people tell me shocking things, I tend to take it as a factual statement, which it is, but I never portray emotional horror. “Where was that?”

“North Thailand” she explained, going into the details of how her drink was spiked and how she woke up next to the guy, freaked out and ran around the streets half naked crying. “The nicest family ever took me in. I love them, they came outside and brought me in. They gave me warm clothes, food, everything for a week. The doctor came and said I was OK but should go for hospital checks.”

“STI’s?”

“Yeah, the main worry being AIDs of course. For the next thrity days I was in and out of there. I wanted to be checked for everything, every fucking thing.” her tonality wavered, emotion seeping through.

“Did they catch him?”

“No, he was a holiday maker so probably gone home.”

“Shit that’s bad, I don’t know why but I assumed he would be a local. You didn’t go home no?”

“No. If I had gone home, it would have been like giving in. They win, you know. I didn’t want it to stop me, I’m a strong girl and I wasn’t going to let them put me down.”

After that night, I lay down on my bunk bed contemplating what she had told me. So honest, so open. These experiences, although terrible in their nature, they had made her stronger. There’s always a bright side. It inspired me they way she didn’t care about what people thought or said. She had no fear of criticism now.

You will learn much by asking constructive questions and you should do so often. Yet sometimes, there are occasions in life when an unpredictable event will take place giving an opportunity to directly explore your self-identity. These opportunities are disguised and not easily found. They can be hidden behind great pain, distress and anguish but with an openness to learning about the Ego they can be found.

A clear example the majority of people can relate to is that of grief. It’s when we  grieve for a loved one that we fully realize our love for that person. We discover previously unknown feelings and passions that would have greatly altered our lives if they had previously be known. Our lives change with beliefs. If you believe you are strong, then when a test of weakness arises you are more likely to win. Beliefs shape our lives, positive beliefs lead to growth, success and wealth. Negative beliefs hinder all growth, reject opportunities and lead to a life of disappointment. By exploring the question who am I? you can strengthen those that are constructive, and change those that are not.

So far then, we have discussed that by asking questions of oneself, and analyzing life experiences you can learn about your Ego or self-identity which, in turn can lead to a greater awareness of positive opportunities. Another way to discover your Ego is by looking at your reflection…

3. Find Your Reflection

How we see the world reflects how we see ourselves. I expressed this concept to a telesales marketer in Bangkok after he stated, “it’s a dog-eat-dog world where only selfish leadership survives” I disagreed saying, “that’s just the way you see things. You see every move, every invitation and opportunity as a threat when really they are not. you told me earlier that you’ve been wanting to start your own business for many years now and yet it hasn’t happened. You need to change the way you view the world, because it is one where many friendships can be made, open up and let these ‘dogs’ attack because after all, what do you have to lose?”

When and if you get angry at something or someone, pull back and ask yourself why. Anger is an emotion, if you are feeling it you have chosen to be angry, you are allowing this moment to have a negative influence. A choice always exists. Our cultural lenses are the perception through which we see the world. These lenses can never be removed for every moment of experience adds to them. All negative perceptions are like taints or blotches on these lenses. They physically hinder your view, cause blemishes and result in a false perception that restricts growth. These lenses are built from your characteristics, habits and traits. When analyzed they can reveal your ego; your self-identity.

Through the acquisition of knowledge and understanding; a desire and willingness to explore the ego; one may expand and clean these cultural lenses so that they give a broader perspective of the opportunistic horizon. Change the way you view the world and you yourself will grow.

After traveling around SE Asia for the initial few months I called my Bambino back home to share with her my latest adventures. She asked me whether I thought I had changed;  the answer to which I was unsure. She voiced her opinion, explaining that just through my voice tonality I seemed calmer, less excitable and less prone to immediate conclusions (that thus lead to emotional fluctuations – but don’t worry, her way of speaking is much more feminine). Contemplating this afterward, I realized that not once had I ever been angry nor sad so far on my trip. For such a long duration this was abnormal, as I would at least get slightly grumpy once a month at home.

Speaking to other single-travelers we shared the same revelation and pondered why happiness should be so abundant in an alien environment whilst traveling alone. It wasn’t long before answers came. We chose to be positive. When something goes wrong, we couldn’t blame the external environment because we didn’t understand it. We couldn’t blame anyone else because we all traveled alone, and we weren’t exactly going to put ourselves down as that worsens the problem. So, the only thing we could do during a negative situation is to turn it around, change it into a positive experience.

An example of this was when I arrived in Railay, South Thailand to learn how to rock-climb. In a longboat six of us were dropped off on the beach late at night as monsoon rains poured from the skies above. Carrying heavy rucksacks we slipped and trudged our way across the beach not knowing where to go. A power cut across the village meant that we couldn’t see anything, and the mud roads had turned into rivers so there was no way we could seek shelter. Hearts sunk, we gathered under a tree cold and wet. It was a negative situation that could easily result in negative emotions. We couldn’t blame the weather, for no one can choose that; we couldn’t blame the people, because there were none; and we wouldn’t blame ourselves for that’s self-destructive. Thus the only choice was to either sulk in the damp, or turn it around.

Dumping our bags we stripped out of our soaked clothes and ran into the sea. Embracing the rain (perceived negative factor) we chose it to be a positive situation, one that induced laughter and fun long into the early hours of the morning.

Conclusion

Changing the way you view the world can change the way you think and (re)act. Over time these actions turn into habits; and habits develop into characteristics – fundamentally changing your self-identity. To explore the ego, analyze the way you interact with the environment and the situations it throws at you. Knowing who you are, including all weaknesses and strengths will build your confidence, self-esteem and discipline for it will enable you to seek out new opportunities.

As a final thought provoking teaser, here is a list of the most common fears mankind inhabits. Do you maintain any of these?

1. Fear of Death
2. Fear of Poverty
3. Fear of Loss of Love
4. Fear of Rejection
5. Fear of Criticism
6. Fear of Ill Health

Please comment below, and join our brilliant forum to carry on the discussion further.

A gentleman is a rare thing these days, so much so that the attraction towards one has never been greater. To be called a ‘real gentleman’ is an honor, one that you should take pride in and cherish. How many men do you know that hold a door open for a lady, send hand written thank-you notes, attend every event without fail and always maintain good conversation? How many men do you know that are thought of everyday by ladies as they talk about their social circles and the gentlemanly attributes the men in question inhabits?

Well, from today, you have the opportunity to know one man: Yourself.

Top Ten Dating Manners

1. Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’. It’s so simple, yet forgotten by so many. It’s courteous and polite to say these words of good faith, it keeps the mood positive and removes any possible conflict. When you’re out at a bar, ordering a drink, start your sentence with “Please can I have…” If you’ve ever worked behind a bar, you’ll know how much of a pleasure it is serving a genuinely nice person for a change.

Social proof is more attractive than being a hard-nut, and so by saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, you’ll gain more smiles from the people around you. More smiles equals greater rapport, and the more rapport you have with others the higher your social proof. Girls enjoy being secure, so build a comfortable environment by befriending everyone around with these effortless words.

2. Conceal your dislikes and disgusts. Nobody likes a moaner, and especially not on a first date. After spending the most part of an hour or more getting ready: hair, make-up, clothes and shoes (not to mention accessories), the last thing a girl wants is to hear you tell her about your disgust for politics, feet and all things fluffy. Keep things positive by talking about the things you love instead.

Besides, the whole point of this first date was to try something new, explore new opportunities and to live life in great company. So take this further by making yourself open to changes in your own beliefs. Maybe, just maybe she’ll have the most beautiful feet you’ve ever seen that secrete majestic perfume.

But when something does arise that you feel strongly against, do yourself a favour and use your other gentlemanly skill of conversation to digress onto a new topic that’ll provide some entertainment.

3. Be a good listener because she will value that so highly it’ll set you way above the rest. Most men get bored very easily listening to a lady talk about female topics because they have no initial interest. If you already have a bit of knowledge on the topic, it’ll be easy to stay engaged. If you don’t, here lies the perfect opportunity to gain some.

Two ears, one mouth. Aim to listen twice as much as you talk, and not only will you find that it makes your night easier, it also develops comfort and trust as the more she talks to you, the more willing she becomes to tell you more. Yet this doesn’t mean sit there in silence nodding your head like a pigeon, ask intelligent questions that require some thought. Engage in a deep topic, and bring it up to a higher level so that nothing seems off limits between you.

4. Hold the door open for every lady that walks by. You’ll get bored, frustrated and wonder what on earth the point is, until you get that one smile and glimpse of feminine beauty as she graces unhindered through the doorway. Whether it’s huge handbags, gigantic prams, or mammoth shopping bags, girls will always have stuff with them. As you stand there, waiting for your date to hurry up in the restroom, make yourself useful and open the door, everytime.

If your date happens to see this, all the better for you. She has now visual evidence that you are a gentleman, someone that will help her when she has a towering load of stuff. On a deeper level, by opening doors you are increasing the flow and connectivity of the world; removing resistance and hampers.

How to Be a Gentleman: A Timely Guide to Timeless Manners

5. Don’t answer that phone. As a precaution, you should turn it on silent or turn it off completely before the date. Answering the phone, or sending a text will abrupt everything. Every laugh, smile and previous conversation will go dead. And the only way to revive it is to say, “so, where were we?” No, you’re here for a reason, and that’s to connect with this girl, not to speak into your phone.

If you can feel it vibrating in your pocket, ignore it. Lot’s of girls will exclaim excitedly, “Oo! Vibration, look who’s got friends” as they take out their phone but that doesn’t mean you should. Stand for your own beliefs. But if a time comes when it’s imperative to answer, at least have the courtesy to let it ring until the conversation has finished, or to take it in the restroom.

6. Give up your seat to anybody in need. Old or young, pregnant or not, if they need your seat for whatever reason, give it to them with a smile. Even if they’re young, and don’t need assistance, give it up for a girl. It may be the kindest thing that’s happened to them all week. But take caution, when on a date, this doesn’t still apply to the same extent.

There are many benefits to giving up your seat, and they include burning more calories, gaining stronger leg muscles, having the opportunity to begin conversation with the recipient and showing everyone a good example of how a gentleman should be.

7. Never use vulgarisms. This means don’t swear, ever. You should never feel the need to swear in the first place, if you do, then you’re not in control. Swear words are harsh sounding, piercing to the ear and automatically associate yourself with people lower language quality. The spoken word should maintain a steady timbre; a beating rhythm that is only heard when you listen closely. Don’t break this rhythm with a single word.

8. Give sincere compliments because this is the surest way to develop trust. You know not to smother a girl in praise, adoration or affection because this will lower the value of each compliment, possibly to the extent that she is repulsed by them. If you think your date is beautiful, then pluck up the courage to tell her so.

Compliments have a scale though. Saying “wow, you’re beautiful” has a much greater effect then “aw, you’re cute.” So change the frequency of compliments in relation to their scale. Use them with honesty and humor, but always keep in mind that she’s probably heard it ten times before. Somehow then, your compliment has to be worth the most. How do you do this? By having belief.

9. Have good eating habits. Too many dates go horribly wrong when a piece of fish or something similar gets stuck on your chin, just where you can’t see it. Sadly, the girl is embarrassed to tell you, so for hours this piece of fish sits quietly on your face. Avoid it happening by chewing with your mouth closed, not speaking whilst eating, taking smaller bites and using your napkin.

At the same time, set the example. Always point out to the girl if she has something on her face, show that you don’t talk until you’ve swallowed, and wash it down with a hearty gulp of water. Remember to use a knife and fork, and whilst we’re at it, keep elbows below karate style heights.

10. Be patient. Whether she’s ten minutes late, or there are no taxis about, stay calm. There’s nothing worse than ruining a perfectly good evening by huffing and puffing about the delay on the train home. There are two ways of looking at it, you can either believe that the government has not funded enough money into the public transport infrastructure, or you can take it as a great opportunity to talk for longer with your date, possibly even go for a romantic walk whilst you wait, or even have another drink. Who knows, maybe she’ll invite you back to hers as it would be so bad for her to leave you stranded after such a nice night out.

No doubt, journals are crucial. After I recorded the video Clarity in 2009 (mind the bad lighting for this one), I received some emails specifically about the journal part. Like I said in the video, I understood the importance of journals, but I wasn’t necessarily using it to its full potential. This article explains how I made transition, it’s pretty lengthy (2956 words), but it’s worth reading it. It took me almost 7 hours to finish it. If you don’t have the time to finish it now, feel free to print it out and take it for reading somewhere else.

I first began to journal with the Lifestyle Challenge that Ian Smith and I created almost a year ago. Later, I was reminded of it when I attended a seminar hosted by SUCCESS magazine (excellent event). I actually got a free ‘Jim Rohn Leadership’ journal there and I began to jot down thoughts, ideas, and emotions on it; but after a while, I grew less motivated to do handwriting. So I moved on to computer journal and I started my journal in a Word document, but still I lacked a bit of discipline in keeping up with it, although both forms DID help me bring more clear answers to the questions that before wandered in my head without answers, or sometimes, questions that I asked other people, yet their answer wouldn’t satisfy me. But when I really started getting the hang of it (you never get the hang of it the first time), I started asking questions in such a way that I would answer my own questions, either as I wrote, or later on in a sudden moment. (By the way, now I use Google documents, it is much easier to keep up with and it allows you to do an easy ‘Search’ function.)

There is some sort of magic that takes place when you ask yourself well-worded questions – well, it’s really the beauty of the mind and body. These well-worded questions not only help you connect with yourself, but also to really connect with others. We have a journal section in our forum that members use to track their progress or tell a particular story. And it won’t take too many questions to ask so that you know that the use of a journal is incredibly efficient. For one, many of them share that writing their story made them realize something they hadn’t realized before. Second, one member’s journal entry can be read by others, making them closer and also, seeing a real life experience (it’s a lot easier to learn that way, instead of the ‘do this, do that’). I think it’s safe to say that in this forum, members know each other better than in any other . Now, let’s explore what well-worded questions are, and why they are so efficient.

Well-Worded Questions

The first thing we need to realize is that well-worded questions do not give immediate answers. In fact, most of your initial answers will only serve to clear up that which doesn’t work. Well-worded questions are true seekers. They find what is true for you. You can also use well-worded questions or well-worded statements to make someone else find what’s true for them, and you watch, they will love you. Only you can ask yourself these questions. You WILL meet some great people who will ask you great well-worded questions and will change your perspective completely, but that will not always happen. For most of your life, it has to be you who does it. Yes, there will be a point where you can ask questions to others that are so deep, that will have powerful realizations, but it all must begin with you.

Second, these questions take some time, do not give up. At the beginning you will ask questions that are not so appealing, but with time you will ask yourself some killer questions. You must immerse yourself into your journal. You will feel silly at the beginning, but that will evolve, sometimes in the course of 5 minutes, sometimes in the course of 5 days. For instance at the beginning, I asked myself ‘How can I make this routine work?’, but of course, I didn’t find any inspiration for the answer, yet as I kept writing, the questions evolved to ‘Why a routine?’, ‘What makes a routine work’?, ‘Can I use something else besides it’?, ‘Why am I so worried about making this work?’, ‘Why do I want it to work?’, ‘What will I accomplish if it works?’, ‘If it works, is it fulfilling’? you know the rest of the story. It’s a funny feeling, really. When you begin writing these questions, you actually find it a bit hard to stop at times and others, hard to continue – keep going, the answer will pop up. Here are some questions directly pulled out from my journal. It is safe to assume that the wording of these questions are appealing to me. And they may not be appealing to you, but they will get the point across.

I began with these questions

Are the people in my life real?
Am I being completely honest with them?
I want a beautiful girlfriend with a certain number of traits. What are those traits?
Am I being thoughtful to my friends?
Am I being as human as I can be?
Am I constantly seeking to make friends?
Why am I so focused on making friends?
I have to talk to more people. Attend to more events. And be THERE.
What do I want my life to be like? What do I want my life NOT to be like?
Am I understanding people more each day?
Am I identifying with them?
Am I being true to my family? Am I calling them enough? And doing enough for them? Am I being a good son? A good brother? A good role model?
Am I ready to commit?

Here is how they evolved

* How can I be completely honest with people? Why do I need to be honest with people? What will be the consequences if I’m not honest with them?
* How can I meet AND keep the woman I will deeply fall in love with?
* How can I be more thoughtful to them? What are some good and simple ways to show appreciation to them? ‘Thank you’ cards, random text messages wishing them a great day or good luck on their exam when they are not expecting it, an email with an e-card that makes the smile, treat them to a nice dinner every now and then.
* How is one more human? How does one get rid of the masks we are conditioned to have? What will happen if I’m not human? What will happen as I become as human as I can be?
* I wanted to seek to make friends, why? How will I make friends? What traits do I want these friends to have? How will I keep a great friend? What will be the nature of a friend relationship? It’s clearly not someone who only comes to see you when there is a beer at home. How then?
* How can I understand people more? What questions or statements I can make to understand them more? To get to know them more? To get them to trust me? How will I know once they have understood me? What will happen when I have the ability to understand people more? What will happen if I don’t?

The list goes on, but I’ll cut it off there for now, or the article will be too long. I think you can see some notorious differences. The first entry was a sort of auto-evaluation, it’s a way of getting in touch with truth. It will help you figure out where you stand. This is not science, by the way. You don’t have to be a super genius to answer those questions, but you do have to trust your instinct. Don’t sabotage yourself over the answers either. I wrote the answers separately, of course. Those answers (some that can come in writing, others come in your head in an instant) led me to write down other questions, better questions. And as I wrote those questions, more interesting things happened. What happened? I got answers. And these answers gave me me a clarity that I hadn’t felt before. I’m more driven. I’m more determined. And I gotta tell you, while the journal didn’t do it all by itself, it certainly was one of the most influential parts of it.

Note: It is obvious to assume, that you must use your own questions.

By the way, it doesn’t always have to be those kind of ‘generic questions’. You can also apply them for whatever instant moment you want. For example, in sales, there is this saying that goes “He said something, but he was saying something completely different”. This simply means, someone can say something, but they mean something completely different. Well, I kept asking myself “How can I figure out what he is saying, instead of what he says?”, there were plenty of answers that begun with the list of patterns on the movements every prospect would make. So I wrote those down, then I wrote down how I worded the questions I asked (I must say sometimes we don’t realize how poorly we ask questions), and then I begun to see patterns that allowed me a bit of more success and understanding in sales. It’s the same with the opposite sex, especially women *cough*. Write down your questions, and stay on them until your questions are so powerful and specific that you can not help but to be inspired by them.

The Answers to your questions

If you thought the questions were tricky, wait until you try to come up with your own answers. It can be a lot trickier and a lot more frustrating. For instance, once I wrote this question “Why is it that I stop trying when I see something getting away from me?”. This was not really the proudest moment in my life, but I share it here because I know there will a be reader or two who can relate to this question. The answers that came up at first were vague. They were usual one-liners. ‘I’m scared’, ‘I’m not used to this’, ‘Maybe I don’t have interest’, and obviously none of the answers felt right. I remember this particular question took me days to figure out. I would write and think about it, often. More often than usual. The answer came to me one day when I asked my dearest friend “Tell me one thing about me that I probably don’t know”. She took a couple of seconds to make up her mind and study my face and she calmly said “I think… that when you commit to a relationship, your vulnerability will show and you will become weak. That’s why you don’t commit to many. Other people may buy it, but not me”. I had my answer.

That answer by my friend was key. I can clearly remember saying “She told me this and how true is that? She probably knows me better than I know myself, how many things about myself am I not aware? How could she know this? What experiences have we had that can lead her to this conclusion?” Well, we did date shortly and later slept together several times, not just that, but we’ve had those intelligent conversations often. So she does know me pretty well. I remember saying “So, it is true. I’m afraid”. Beautiful, I was sure now and I just needed to know why. As I was in the treadmill one night, the answer popped into my head. “You’re scared because you’re afraid of investing time again and not seeing results”. Now, this sounds like a pretty common answer, duh, but there is a big difference when the answer comes from WITHIN rather than outside. Huge difference. The answers from outside helps you memorize and act it out to go from there, while the answers from inside help you to realize and live it out. What a difference.

Be aware, as you write, some ideas will come to you in crystal clear words and you’ll have an ‘Aha!’ moment, others will be pretty blurry in your mind and your job will be to write it down until you figure it out. For instance, if you ask yourself “What does a magic moment look like?”. You can surely picture a magic moment in your head (Chances are you’re picturing one right now) but can you live that magic moment at once? Maybe not. If I asked you to describe how a magic moment can occur, then you may have a bit of trouble doing so, even when you can see it clearly in your head! Isn’t that crazy? But if you begin to write, and write, and write, you will get to a point where you can actually describe and feel pretty accurately how that magic moment can be created. You will have gone from imagining a magic moment to having enough knowledge and within-education to know how to CREATE that magic moment. In other words, you will take the invisible and make it visible.

The difference that makes the difference

Writing it. Writing it makes the difference. Someone said it “Writing is the beginning of wealth”. I’m by no means very wealthy, but writing has enriched my spirit so much. When you write it, you remember it. It’s so crucial. Jim Rohn said it “If an idea is worth listening to, worth reading, worth remembering it, then it’s also worth capturing it in your journal. And there are many reasons for making the effort to capture good ideas, not the least is the simple fact that the simple act of writing something on paper helps to make the idea firmer in our mind.” Of course, it’s not just ideas, but questions, quotes, pictures, and realizations too. Write down everything as it comes into your mind. Don’t focus about organizing it by segments. Let it flow and soon you’ll be more organized than you can imagine. My entries actually have quotes all over them, because I will happen to read something and I just know I have to write them down because if not now, they will be helpful later. You can go back to your past journal entry pretty easily and see how you thought back then and compare it to how you think now, or you can check for unanswered questions that you’d like to answer now. You can check it for a great idea that you couldn’t apply at the moment, or you forgot to apply it, but now you’re free and able to apply it. But if you had never written that idea down, you could never apply it – then or months later.

I will re-state the question I asked in the video I linked you earlier, What could be more important than improving things so that they give you the best result? What could be more important than writing down my questions to ask the next girl you meet, or the next prospect you’ll help? What could be more important than writing down your presentation or a new funny line or a new way to make her day, or his day? What could be more important than understanding yourself? Is it worth doing so? You better believe it. Whether you want to improve your dating life to get one girlfriend or if you want to live it like a playboy, the advise is the same, get a journal and write on it. If you’d like to share a public journal – one than you can always easily go back to – then join our forum and I’ll create one for you. If not, go ahead and use Google documents, it’s the best that I found. If you can afford it, I recommend “The Journal” software too.

I encourage you to be a professional. A professional is a serious student, one that studies his or her entire life, not just one who goes to work everyday for a paycheck. Be a serious student of your life by jotting down ideas, quotes, feelings, questions to your personal life, questions for your relationships, your goals, and even to-do lists. When I’m outside, and I hear something amazing (it happens often when you expose yourself) I write it on my cell phone and when I get home, I write it on my computer. You should do the same. I used a pocket-notebook before for notes outside home but I have switched to cell phone now – you know, technology . If you’re going to attend an important event where there will be need to use something besides your cell phone, and cannot take a laptop, then definitely take a notebook. You’ll be amazed at how many ideas you can collect in a week when you begin to write them down. Write them, before you forget them. There is nothing as effective as the answers that you can come up with, because you will feel an automatic drive to apply them. There is no telling in what you can realize when you write. There is no telling in what you can become if you keep a journal. There is no telling what you can do if you live as a serious student. I know you want to be one. If you finished reading this, then you definitely want to be it. Congratulations.