Learn the Basic Definitions

Every educational text will refer to the same terms over and over again. Until you learn what these really mean, you’ll be left in the dark feeling lost. Get a notepad and every time you find a term jot it down and crack open the dictionary. If the specific word doesn’t exist in there, then a quick search on Google, “define: term” will bring you plenty of answers to choose from. Alternatively buy a relevant pocket guide to your topic which includes definitions for the terms. I use The Economist’s Pocket Finance and International Business Terms whilst I read any financial text. Once you have found the term, write it down in your own words and learn it. Cover it up, and write it down again and again until it’s memorised.

Now, when you come back to read the article it’ll make more sense until the next term triumphs you. It’s important to remember that there are a limited number of unknown words, and that eventually you will not need the pocket book any more. At first you may feel that there is no chance in hell, it’s like learning a new language and that the number of acronyms runs to infinity but it doesn’t. Looking at the front page of today’s Financial Times you can see how easy it is to feel lost: FSA, CIT, SWF, KPMG, KKR, equity, funds and bonds. Yet these are only eight terms, three of which refer to individual companies. Learning definitions gives you a huge sense of achievement and will enable you to read with ease.

Learn the History

Often I get stuck when journalists refer to a previous event that I am unknowledgable about. You can’t refer to another story if you haven’t read it yet. Since the FT is 125 years old, that’s a lot of history to catch up on. Every author has read much themselves, and they will almost always refer to something or someone which is like a hint: Go and read this. History teaches many lessons, the only problem is that it takes far too long to learn them all. You have to make an educated decision as to what history would be beneficial to ease Reading Block, and to gain further insight from the text.

My decision was to learn how money came into existence, alongside with the first bank, bond, share, insurance and stock market. A simpler example would be that of a car. Learning how a car was made will enable you to maintain and get the most out of it.

Videos, Podcasts and Novels

There are other mediums of communication out there, and if Reading Block is a problem then perhaps you ought to try something else. Countless TV channels now offer online streaming (BBC iPlayer is a notable example), websites give free podcasts (or give iTunes a quick search) and you could always attend an introductory seminar. Humans process the vast majority of information via visual inputs – there are plenty of statistics out there to prove this – and so high quality (in terms of content) videos can be the quickest way to learn theory and history.

By listening to related podcasts (the FT publishes one daily) and watching videos a picture soon forms behind what the article is saying. Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to step back, learn a new skill and then approach again. Alternatively it could be the way in which the text is written that is problematic. I recently read The Penguin Guide to Finance that explained everything from the Time Value of Money to Speculation and Hedging through a story. It was very easy to read and has enabled a greater understanding of more complex texts for now I can refer to the story.

And it’s this last point of being able to refer to stories that I want to stress. Story telling has always existed in human societies, in all cultures from the beginning of mankind. You see it on the cave walls, you see it in the museums, religious texts, bookshops and of course the internet. We learn stories from the day we are born and the more stories we can relate to, the better grasp of the topic we will have. It may be the case that to understand one text, you will have to read many other stories first, which is why Daniel points out one ought to read books by the same author in order.

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Visit the Location

If it’s possible, go to the place that the text is referring to. There’s a reason why schools organise field-trips, and that’s because it’s one of the best methods of learning. You breathe the same air, you walk the same paths, you see the same things, you eat and drink the same foods and you carry out the same exercise that the author did. Imagine your father trying to teach you fishing, he can give you as many books as he likes, force you to watch tutorials online, talk you through it, even make you listen to audio CDs that represent the noises of the activity…Yet none of this will compare to the benefits of getting hands-on and learning through experience.

I traveled up to the City of London in a suit to do just this. I wanted to find the banks, see what they looked like, watch and meet the people who worked inside them, find out where and what they drink, eat, relax, socialise, work and talk about. Sounds quite weird, but it was one of the most useful things I have done to help remove Reading Block. Now when I read an article, I can picture the company it’s talking of, I can refer to some of the workers I met, I can understand the attitude, the preconceptions and the tone of the text just that little bit better. Meet the people the text is talking about and you’ll soon find it very easy to understand.

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Read Through the Block

The majority of times Reading Block may happen however, is not because of a lack of knowledge, nor experience but actually just the inability to concentrate. It’s the same as Writer’s Block, and the only way to solve it is to just keep reading. To finish a book, you have to start it. And even if for every two pages you read you have to go back one, you’ll get there eventually. Today I sat down at my dining room table, turned off all distractions and simply said I am not leaving until this paper is finished. The golden rule for figuring out a meaning of a word is to read the entire sentence. To find a lesson in a story, you have to finish it so be patient with yourself and the author. Read out loud and keep going back until every sentence is read and understood. As financiers would say, keep reading – it pays dividends.

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Personal development books are not novels. They are not meant to be read in one sit. I used to make that terrible mistake of reading a book as fast as I could just so I could get that sense of accomplishment. Needless to say, the books didn’t change my life. Nothing incredible happened after reading “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki or “The Richest Man in Babylon” by George Clason. Perhaps it is because I didn’t make the best use of them. They are called ‘life changing’ books. Yet, I read the books and I didn’t turn into a millionaire. I felt a rush to finish the books and go into the next one to accumulate as much knowledge as possible. As it turned out, this was a gross mistake.

The point of reading a book is not just to read it, finish it, and put it away in your shelf. It’s to extract its wisdom (or the author’s) as much as possible. I mentioned before that it takes a student of great books to become one of great knowledge. I didn’t say it takes a reader. I said it takes a student. A student then not only reads, but seeks to extract every bit of knowledge so that he understands it as much as possible. If it takes highlighting, underlining, circling, putting asterisk or stars, making notes on the side of the book, or discussing it with friends, then he does it. Of what use is a book if you’ll never write or talk about it? I once was reading a book by Jeffrey Gitomer – a master sales trainer – and a family member who passed by saw me reading the book. Jeffrey is known for his portable, smooth, playful looking books. As this family member saw me underline and write several things on it, he exclaimed “Don’t mess up such a nice book like that!”. He didn’t understand.

Some will say “I can’t be on the same book for more than a week!”. Bad. If you’re going to read a book, then take the extra time to actually understand it and apply it. Otherwise you will have wasted valuable time. Yes, I’m aware of some programs out there that work on the subconscious mind and enable faster reading and greater understanding. If you can afford those programs, go for it. But if you don’t, then don’t mind taking 2 or 3 weeks or even a month to fully grasp the concept of a book. Here is what I do:

• I first read the book front to back, highlighting, underlining, making comments on the side as I go.
• By the way, if the author recommends not to exceed one chapter a day, then I follow that. You should too. He/she is the teacher. You’re merely the student.
• I then re-read what I highlighted or underlined along with the writings I made on the pages.
• I might also read the sentences or paragraphs previous to the parts highlighted.
• I make sure I jot down all the book’s suggestions to be applied in actuality. I then work on those suggestions.
• I then go one more time through the highlights and re-write on my journal then best quotes or reminders from the book.
• If something is particularly important or profound, I fold the top corner of the page, so that next time I pick up the book again, I know there is something valuable in that page.

(These simple steps can save you tremendous amounts of time in the future when you need to be refreshed. Try them.)

Something happens when you repetitively read something. You begin to see things you didn’t see the time before. You begin to perceive a particular paragraph or sentence a lot more different than you perceived it when you first read it. Or you now find a topic you ignored before but is deeply important now. For instance, I constantly refer back to “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey. And each time, I see something newer and bigger. The book may not change, but my understanding of its wisdom does.

Knowledge in Order

Author, speaker, and University President Nido Qubein brought something to my attention a while ago. He said “Have your knowledge in order. If your knowledge is not order, you become more confused by definition”. How true is that! The libraries and bookstores of America are filled with books of financial freedom, happiness, personal development, and relationships – yet, we lack these very same things today, perhaps more than before.

What happens when you read a book on finances and then one on relationships? Correct, your mind shifts its focus. While it’s great to open your mind by reading on a variety of topics, it’s more important to grasp on one topic first then move to another. Failure to do this will result in constant shift of focus. Not good.

Here is how it works: Read books from the same philosophy in sequence.

For example: Now that I’m fully done reading Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits, I move on to another one his books “Principle Centered Leadership”. I could have chosen “First Things First” or “The 8th Habit”. But I think this choice will increase my personal understanding of Covey’s philosophy, if read next. For you, it might be a different book. Follow your instinct.

You should choose a book that roots on the same philosophy – and usually that happens to be by the same author. If I read Stephen Covey and then go Napoleon Hill, then there is a distortion there. Even if they both write on personal development, their philosophy is different. It’s very tempting only to read those ‘bestsellers’ with millions of copies, but don’t fall on the trap. There are some great books out that are complementary to those bestsellers. They just never reach the recognition they deserve since other book by the same author might be his best work. Read them all. Not just the most recognized. You’ll be amazed at what you find.

Sharing Ideas. Sharing the Books.

This could go under the suggestions for better understanding of your reading, but since I’m witness of how powerful this is, I decided to elaborate a bit more.

A great man named Jim Rohn once quoted “When you share an idea with ten people, they may hear it once, but you hear it ten times. That’s good”. This statement inspired me to share my quotes and insights with everyone I meet online (Twitter, Facebook) or off it. I recently started sharing my own short quotes and they have been receiving good comments and appreciation. This is only one good side effect, the other is that I get to read that idea again and the mere fact that I share it with others pushes me a bit more to deeply understand them. After all, what would I do if someone asks me ‘Can you elaborate on that?’.

If you’re comfortable, share the books too. Give them to a friend and let him or her know that you’d like to discuss the book later. I have talked to friends who have read the same books I have and it’s amazing how much a different perspective can make yours stronger. So don’t fall shy of joining a book club or asking a friend to join you.

I hope you have gained conscience of how critically important it is to use books the right away. Do you have any other suggestions? Feel free to share them!

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“The Law of Attraction is the compliance between the Universe and your most intense thoughts and feelings”

- Daniel Becerra

I must confess that I’m absolutely excited. Had you seen me an hour ago, you would’ve thought that I have lost it. Or that overwhelming euphoria took over me. It did. I was jumping around my room, smiling, and extending my arms to the sky in absolute joy and as I type this, I’m still smiling. What happened? For the first time since I began to immerse myself into personal development, I caught a glimpse of what the ‘Law of Attraction’ really is, how it works, why it works, and more importantly – how it has worked for me so far. My intent with this article is to help you see how the ‘Law of Attraction’ has also worked on YOU. I believe it will be easier for you to identify with what I write because I’m just like you, I don’t posses a huge bank account (yet), I’m a university student, and I still have plenty of questions about life.

How It Happened

First of all, there are two things I ask of you: one is that you keep an open mind as you read and the second is that you do your best to come back to this article when a realization or breakthrough comes along. For me, the realization came to me as I watched the movie ‘The Secret’‘. The movie centers on one subject ‘The Law of Attraction’. Hold this thought for a second, because I would like to point out that the way I came to watch this movie was actually through the ‘Law of Attraction’ itself. I suggest you rent or buy the DVD as it will make more sense if you do. I also suggest that you google ‘The Law of Attraction’ and read on it as much as you can. Whatever deepens your understanding of it, do that, for the benefits will

be tremendous.

Everything in my life is the consequence of the ‘Law of Attraction’.

- Daniel Becerra

From this website, to the books I read, to the university I attend, and the people I meet – everything, absolutely everything is the consequence of the ‘Law of Attraction’. The movie explained it in a way that really made sense to me after everything I have read and done in my personal growth journey. In a way, the movie complemented my studies. I now see the ‘Law of Attraction’ working in ALL my personal successes and failures and that of the people that I’ve studied or read from. I see it in quotes of the great ones. I can see through people’s writings whether or not they understand the law of attraction. It’s a skill that I certainly didn’t have before – the ability to know who understands this ‘secret’.

What is the Law of Attraction?

“It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law” – The Ten Commandments Movie

The first thing you need to understand about the ‘Law of Attraction’ is that it’s exactly the first part of the phrase – a law. Not your typical traffic law that can be broken, but a real law. A law is defined as something that just is. It just happens whether anyone likes it or not. It can’t be changed and it can’t be helped. That’s a law and just like the ‘Law of Gravity’, the ‘Law of Attraction’ is always working. This law is really one of the greatest laws of them all, and once you understand it, you can consciously and deliberately set the course of your life. Re-read that sentence one more time – consciously and deliberately are the key words.

Understanding that attraction is a law and not a choice is key to the second part of understanding the law of attraction – that it can make you or it can break you, that whatever you consciously or subconsciously decide to attract, that will come.

You can choose your thoughts, but you cannot choose the consequences of those thoughts.

Choose your thoughts carefully.

Why? The Law of Attraction doesn’t distinguish good from bad. It just makes it so that whatever you think (constantly) becomes reality. Whatever you think about, it will come, whether it’s good for you or not – it’s not up for choice, it just is. Remember the old saying “Thoughts drive actions and actions drive results”. Add to that one word – feelings. “Thoughts and feelings drive actions and actions become results”. Negative feelings (sadness, fear, pessimism, anguish) drive negative results (more sadness, failure, bringing a team down). Positive feelings drive other actions that brings us MORE on those positive feelings. This sounds nice, right? but..

How does it manifest?

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is what personally sealed the deal for me. Once I understood this, everything clicked. The movie uses the analogy of “Aladdin and the Lamp” in which Aladdin asks a ‘genie’ to grant him three wishes. The movie then leads us to think of the genie as the ‘source‘, you can call the source God or the Universe or both. I personally prefer to call it both, for my beliefs tell me that God created the universe and as a consequence, God works through the universe to make things happen for you. Hence why the Bible scripture says “Ask and you shall receive”. What you choose to be your ‘source’ is up to you, though. The point is that the universe will re-arrange itself so that things begin to happen for you.

The Universe will re-arrange itself?

Yes, you read that right – the universe will re-arrange itself. How? You don’t need to know how. Just trust that it will happen. This is where skepticism may come in, don’t let it. Accept right now that there is a HIGHER POWER. THIS is the secret. This is the essence of ‘the secret’.

The secret is that the universe is like your genie, it serves you – for good or for bad.

Work in harmony with it.

The universe will make its moves one by one so that the end result of your thoughts is your thoughts themselves. In other words, the universe will make things happen for you – if and only if – your faith remains strong; if your thoughts, feelings, and faith remain the same despite adversity and temporary defeat. From a theological perspective, God will reward your faith if you trust Him long enough. I can attest to this personally as I know that ever since I have begun to follow God, things have seemed to begin happening more and more often for me.

Your duty then is not to re-arrange the universe to make things happen for you, but rather act when the universe tells you to act. Do you ever feel an urgency to do something that’s good, yet there is a bit of fear? That happens to all of us. Don’t let that fear paralyze you, go with your instincts; it’s at this moment that the universe is setting things for you so things begin to go on your favor – but you just need to make that move.

The Time Issue

“There are no impossible goals, only impossible deadlines” – Brian Tracy

How long will your thoughts and feelings take to manifest? I know not. I don’t think anyone does. So how can you know that it will happen? Faith. How can you estimate how long will it take to happen? Well, that’s in direct relation to your alignment with your desires. So if you’re making $10,000 and you have this burning desire of making $100,000, it might not happen over night because the circumstances will not allow it to happen that fast. Chances are you will be led to books, people you will meet, ideas, seminars, opportunities, etc. These events will undoubtedly lead you to your $100,000 – if your faith remains there, that is. Someone in a foreign country that desires with all of his heart to triumph, yet his country doesn’t let him, will probably be presented with the opportunity to travel to one that does. And we see these cases all the time, cases of successful immigrants who had their FAITH TESTED – their faith won, and so did their pockets.

I would like you to take this concept and transfer to the setting of goals. This is a case in which you can easily and clearly see how the law of attraction takes place. What do you think happens when someone writes down his or her goals and puts them in front of his or her face every single day? Right, the belief that one will achieve those goals increases and so does the speed at which the universe works for you. And remember, your thoughts and feelings drive your actions and your actions drive your results. When you write down your goals, you’re simply setting a stand; and upon them, you will feed your faith, thoughts and feelings. Your goals serve you as a constant reminder of the things you wish to attract. They are no longer ‘wishful thinking’, they become – as Napoleon Hill would say – burning desires. Vision boards and daily visualization also serve this process, they remind you, they feed your desires, they make them stronger. The universe takes notice of this, of your desire getting stronger and in turn, will respond faster. It’s not just you who does it. Remember the secret – there IS a higher power.

In the earlier example of an immigrant with unwavering faith having his goals reached, we mention that he or she might have to go through several forms of adversity – one of them, and not the least, is coming to another country – and we understand that because of this adversity, it should take him longer to reach his dreams that someone who has been in that country for a long time (although the case is often the opposite). In the case that it does take him longer than he or she expected, you can use this phrase “There are no impossible goals, only impossible deadlines”. In short, if you don’t meet your goal on the deadline, simply set a new deadline, not a new goal. This is why experts often encourage to set goals that are realistic to your current position, so that you’re less likely to suffer disappointment and more likely to believe that you can achieve it. These experts understand the law of attraction whether they are aware of it or not.

The more you believe and the less your faith diminishes, the faster the universe will work for you.

Remember this timeless truth

The same happens with a negative thought or feeling. Luckily, if you have a negative thought, it doesn’t turn into reality right away; in fact, it taks longer to become reality. As the movie explains ‘We’ll be in trouble if it did’. So if you think once that your partner might be seeing someone else on your back,  it doesn’t mean that it will automatically happen – thank God! But if you keep thinking that long enough, eventually you will drive him or her to do exactly that.

What Should Someone Think?

“Ask and you will receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened” – Matthew 7:7, The Holy Bible

I or anyone else can’t tell you what to think, but I’m here to share with you the “how” to think. Think positive. Think things that evoke positive feelings. That sounds pretty vague, so let’s explore it deeper. Think about the difference of saying ‘I don’t want to be alone’ and ‘I have great people in my life’. The first only calls for more loneliness, the second only attracts more great people into your life. Can we go a bit further to say that the first statement may not make you alone but that it will bring that person bad people, bad relationships, bad everything? Can we even go even a bit more to say that if the person, instead, takes the time to define what a “great person” is, then he or she is most likely to attract that person, simply because he or she is more clear about what a great person is? Yes.

I’ll use a story at this point (later I’ll share a lot more). I have a female friend who is just plain gorgeous. And I mean, gorgeous. She is not the playboy style gorgeous, she is the gorgeous who looks good with make up or without it. She’s gorgeous in an adorable way. I think you get it. Yet, she doesn’t feel beautiful. She doesn’t perceive herself as beautiful and all the time she tells herself “I don’t want to be alone” or “I’m destined to be alone” or “I only have bad luck with guys”. The result? Despite she being an amazing and gorgeous woman, the guys she attracts are just that – douchebags. She has GREAT guy friends though. Friends who will die for her, friends who respect her, friends who cook her breakfast and take her out and sleep by her side, yet the guys who approach her for romance end up being douchebags.

The interesting thing is that she always tells herself and others that her friends are wonderful, but that the guys she meets are just messed up. Can you see how the law of attraction works there? I can bet you anything that if she used the same feelings and attitude she uses to describe her friends to describe the guys she attracts, then she will attract one hell of a guy.

On the other hand, I have a friend, let’s call her Megan, who may not be as gorgeous as my other friend (her looks are good, just not as much as my other friend), yet she is now engaged to one hell of a man. When I first met the guy, I couldn’t be happier for my friend Megan as I knew she was in good hands. Later, I had a conversation with Megan and she explained to me something she had done years ago. She had written on a piece of paper all of the traits that she wanted her husband to have. She took the time to do so because she understood the importance of settling for nothing less than what you deserve. Some years into the relationship, she took the paper from her drawer and went over the traits she had written years ago. The result made her smile from ear to ear as she was able to put a check next to every single trait that she had written. She had found him, or rather, he found her. She had attracted what she intended. She is planning to show him the paper right after they get married. Megan constructed part of her future. It wasn’t an accident, it was planned.

The universe says ‘Your wish is my command’. So yes, be careful what you wish for.

It is true. The world is designed to work for you.

Megan made good use of the law of attraction, my other friend did not. The ‘Law of Attraction’ does not distinguish. You may as well say that when you have good feelings, you call upon God, and when you have bad feelings, you call upon Satan. It’s okay to see to fall a bit on the dark feelings, but it’s not okay to let them overwhelm you! Take my word for it: You can be gorgeous, but not beautiful. Beauty – despite being on the eye of the beholder – has one universal quality and that is, that one must first find herself beautiful so that others can see her as beautiful too. Sure, Megan could have given up on finding a guy like this. Sure, she could have been scared to give herself to him. Sure, there was fear and almost disbelief as to what she found. But that’s where faith comes in. Did Megan have problems with her boyfriend at some point? Of course. Did she give up? No. Did he give up? No. Now, don’t we all have problems with our partner? Yes. But why do we give up? The excuse of “I’ve been hurt in the past” no longer applies. Today, that’s pretty much everyone’s case. I can tell you a hundred cases of people who have experience tremendous amount of adversity and yet have come back. Your suffering is not so unique, realize that.

The Difference Maker

“Here is what’s pity – someone who inherits a million but doesn’t become a millionaire in his mind” – Jim Rohn

What makes the difference? How do you go from ‘wishful thinking’ to ‘burning desire’? How do you know when you’re ready? I mentioned before that the ‘x’ feeling is key. There is an identity shift and once you have it and for as long as you keep it, you’ll get what you want. Sure, everyone wants something, but how badly do they want it? How do these two different views relate to the ‘Law of Attraction’? Does the ‘Law of Attraction’ accept one but not the other? These are all valid questions, especially the last one – does the law of attraction work on ‘wishful thinking’ even though it’s positive?

Well, does it? Think about it. If you think ‘I wish I had that car’. I think the universe wouldn’t take that statement as serious as “I drive this car”. The universe moves at our speed and at our desire. I’d dare to say that the law of attraction does respond to ‘wishful thinking’ but it responds to it so slowly that there is more chance of disappointment and one will never get to see his ‘wishes’ come true. A burning desire on the other hand, is on constant movement, on constant demand, on constant action, and therefore the universe responds a lot quicker. So if you want to see your ‘dreams’ come true and not to remain ‘wishes’ forever, you gotta act and dream big. Yes, it is true, the law of attraction works only with your hand and feet – don’t fall cocky though, accept that you cannot do things alone, not without the help of the universe or God. A friend of mine put it best when he said “You can try all you want and work as hard as you want, but if God doesn’t help you, it will not happen”. This is true, if it wasn’t, miracles wouldn’t occur.

So here is the key: Get in the feeling that you want and act as if it was there, even if it’s not there yet. Jamie Craven did this to improve his fitness and the results were astonishing. Do you want to be loved? Act as if you were already loved. Do you want to attract people in high energy for one night? Then get into high energy for that night? Do you think that it’s coincidence that confident men attract confident women? Of course it’s not coincidence. It’s designed that way, it’s the law of attraction. Do you think it’s coincidence that millionaires have a different mindset that poor people? Of course not. Do you think a millionaire becomes a millionaire by coincidence? Of course not. They first became millionaires in their mind. THIS is the law of attraction.

The law of attraction responds to the feeling.

Get that feeling and act upon it.

Look, if you’re talking to a female that you wanted and you feel something inside you telling that NOW it’s the moment to make the move, then NOW is the moment to make the move. The universe is telling you to make the move now, all you gotta do is make the move. Move at the speed of the universe, don’t delay, don’t doubt it. Don’t let the fear paralyze you. If an idea comes through your head while you’re showering that will make your organization extraordinary, then act upon at the idea. The universe or source is rewarding you with that idea through the law of attraction because you wanted it… because you asked for it… because it was in your mind.. and that which you thought about most… can now become reality.

The Law of Attraction and Me

As I said at the beginning, I don’t posses a huge bank account (yet), I don’t own a mansion, as of right now, I don’t even own a car. You can almost say that by ‘standard’, I’m not ‘successful’; but I tell you this, I’m already successful in mind. And for as long as I’m successful in the mind, I’ll be good. Even if I go broke in the future, I won’t be worried if I still have my mind. The only thing that will worry me is my successful mind turns into a poor mind. The good thing is that I will always have the ultimate saying to whether or not my mind is successful. And that is exciting. So exciting that I jumped around in joy as I had this breakthrough. However, that’s not what I’m most excited about; what I’m most excited about is that I’m now able to share this message with you, with ‘my people’, with the young adults.

My goal is that, as I share these experiences with you, you become aware that you can begin NOW to use the Law of Attraction and have abundance in your life early in life. The younger you get started, the better. I don’t intend a small life for myself. I intend full abundance in all areas from my relationships to my home and joy in my career. I want to live the life of giants like Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, or Charlie Jones. I want to have the confidence and wisdom of the Donald Trumps and the attitude of the Benjamin Franklins, that’s what I want. Of course, when you look at my current situation and at the situation of these giants, you ask yourself “How would he ever get there?”. My answer is “Law of Attraction”, then I’ll continue “And then I’ll trust myself to follow up on it”. I don’t know the exact steps, but I do know that the steps will be shown to me as I go along. In fact, the steps are already showing, they always have been showing (we just don’t realize it) and those are the ones I will write about, to show you proof that the Law of Attraction is working in my life AND yours. With this, you should be able to understand the law of attraction and officially begin to do what my goal for you to do is, and that is to deliberately and consciously create your destiny.

Side Note: Wherever part of the world you’re reading from, I’d want to confirm your suspicion that I don’t know what you’re going through or what you current situation is, I don’t; but at the same time, I want to reaffirm to you that the law of attraction, the universe and God can make things happen for you, if you want it bad enough. It may take longer, but the result is there. The process is the same for everybody. You and I have more things in common than you can imagine, I promise you.

Given that the law of attraction is always working, I’ll only use my ‘career path’ for the most part. If I tried to describe my entire life through the law of attraction I may take a book or two. So let’s begin…

At the age of fourteen, I knew I wanted to do something big, but more than anything, meaningful. I saw suffering around me as I grew up near a poor neighborhood. I saw my parents struggling financially despite being considered ‘Upper Middle-Class’. I knew I wanted to do something. At times, I just wanted to make problems disappear – of course, I couldn’t. At fourteen, I didn’t know what could I possibly do to help people with their lives, to do something meaningful. I didn’t really understand leadership or courage. To be sincere with you – if you’re in a first world country, consider yourself lucky, because third world countries don’t get to see much of this courage or leadership explained, if even lived. There just isn’t much to look up to. I know I certainly didn’t see it in Peru. It makes sense then, that a failure to shift consciousness leads to stay in the same pattern in which we are currently trapped.

I didn’t know how, but I knew I would. I didn’t know what career, but I knew the meaning behind it.

- By Daniel Becerra

I didn’t know why, but somehow I ended up in the United States. My aunt made me an invitation out of the blue and in less than a few months, I was already in the United States. That may not seem like much. Thousands of people fly into the United States everyday, so what? For me, it was different. I had just flew into a country or territory that would give me the wings to start the career that would fulfill the meaning I was seeking. I didn’t know at the time, but I was attracting my thoughts, my constant thoughts, into reality. At the age of 14, it’s very rare to improve people’s lives, so I couldn’t do it. I needed the training, the people, the experiences, the field, the customers, the understanding. It’s a long process, but that process was just getting started – and that’s what mattered. Again, I didn’t know it then, but I can see it now.

It wasn’t all pretty, and your journey won’t be it either. Without my parents, my brothers, my friends, my food, and my city, I felt out a place – even more, without the language. People call it “culture shock”, I call it “pain”. That’s one thing about the ‘Law of Attraction’, even though the universe will work in your favor to make your desire come true in the most harmonious way, the truth is that you will suffer some bit – but I never gave up. I don’t have much to complain to be sincere. Yeah, I didn’t get along with my uncle. Yeah, I didn’t have my immediate family. Yeah, all that, but I had things that plenty of people in my country and around the world didn’t have – I had food, clothing, housing, and more important, internet .

Eventually after almost a year of blaming myself for not going back (and at the same time attracting all kind of bad things), I turned things around because the dream I had outgrew the pain inside. I remembered everything I wanted to do. Except that now I was 16, going 17 and I had better thinking. It wasn’t great, but it was better than at 14. I knew at some point that I wanted to speak in public and teach people and help them in this way. I can’t remember how I arrived to this, but I knew this is something I wanted to do. And the strangest thing happened – I met Ian Smith. Not to say that Ian Smith is strange (just a little bit), but strange because out of that encounter would be born everything that exists today for me and this website. The Law of Attraction put Ian Smith in my life.

Ian is a person I needed to run into in order to get started. Together we decided we would start a website and begin a movement for ‘Modern Men’. Ian didn’t give me the wisdom, fulfillment, or the abundance I seek. In fact, we were both pretty broke when we met and pretty confused too. But he did help me build the idea!. I attracted Ian into my life through my constant thoughts and feelings. This is what I mean by the ‘universe re-arranging itself’. How else is it possible that two strangers that, at the naked eye, come from two complete different backgrounds, come together to the same place, learn from each other and eventually go on to lead a movement? It’s only possible through the law of attraction! Ask yourself, right now, who did you attract into your life because of your constant thoughts? I recently attracted a woman into my life who is just as philosophical as me. I’ve been wanting that. We knew of each other and but it wasn’t until recently that we took notice of each other and now we discover similarities that we had no clue existed before. Who are you attracting? Whether it’s for your career, your personal growth, your romance, or whatever. Who are you attracting? Now ask yourself what thoughts led you to attract that person? What thoughts were you having when you attracted that great person? or that bad person perhaps? The results and realizations you get will be pretty astonishing.

Later as my writing began to take off, so did my head. While I was confident, I still had fear. I need guidance – specifically, spiritual guidance. I couldn’t sleep for several ideas and I just knew I needed a spiritual guide, a mentor. And guess what? My thoughts were so powerful that God/Universe brought me a spiritual guide through the law of attraction. I attracted this spiritual guide because of my constant thoughts and I didn’t even know it at the time. Does it ever surprise you when you’re thinking about someone you haven’t spoken in a while and all of the sudden you receive a text message, a call, or an email from them? I recently received a text message from a girl I haven’t spoken to in a long time, and frankly all I was desiring was to know that she was alive and almost by magic, a couple of minutes later, she sent a mass text message. She is alive. That’s the law of attraction. It made things happen so that I received a text message from her. From a Theological point of view, one might say that God worked through someone to do this. Both points are valid. Yes, it might seem a bit hard to believe at first, but it’s reality.

The higher power is real

Trust it

Later when the website began to develop less, but more loyal readers, I needed more help to materialize my vision. I knew I needed pictures for the website, I knew I needed someone who knew about marketing and getting traffic in and all that technical aspect. I certainly know close to nothing about these things, but two of the guys that I have ‘mentored’, if you will, have offered to 1) Give photographs for free, and 2) Help me with the traffic and technical things, even with new ideas to grow the website, and even become a writer. The first is Calvin Wallace, the second is Tom Church (You can find them both in the ‘Contact Us’ Page). I attracted these guys, unintentionally, into working with me through the law of attraction. I didn’t know it then, but I know it now. When they read this, they’ll know it too .

I later went on to learn about money and entrepreneurship, but of course, I didn’t know where to start. But through the Law of Attraction, I was led to books, and people, and seminars that would eventually lead me to other people and other seminars and other tapes and opportunities for me to capitalize on and fulfill my dream – to employ my talent, my gift, my passion.

Another example just took place few days ago. I had been wanting to get my hands on the best-seller book of all the time “Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren, but until now, I hadn’t. I thought about it often, I just hadn’t made the move just yet.  In the meantime, I joined a church. This one is for college and university students so it’s a perfect fit, and here is the deal: I was enthusiastic from the get go. I just wanted to learn and I was willing to listen. And one pastor of the church took notice of it and when I approached him to ask what he thought I should do next. He replied “First read ‘Purpose Driven Life’” he continued “And then we’ll have you join one of our programs”. I said “Yeah, I’ll be pleased to read that book as soon as I get the chance to buy it”. He said “Oh, we have them here, follow me”. And so I followed him. And when we arrived to the pack of several copies of the book, he looked at me and said “You know, I’ll buy it for you”. My first response was “No way, no”. He insisted by saying “I’ll pay for it if you promise to read it”. I replied back “I’ll read it but are you sure you want to do this?”. He nodded. The result, I got a book that I badly wanted for free. That, my friends, is the law of attraction taking place.

Even more interesting is perhaps the way I came to understand the ‘Law of Attraction’. On the last weeks, I’ve been thinking a lot about setting some strong goals and really build incredible momentum, enough momentum so I reach my ‘dream university‘. And at some point, I’m hanging out at my computer, looking over at my Netflix (the movie service) account. I had a plan for 2 DVDs a month, which makes sense because during university session, I don’t get much free time. I can’t explain what but something took over me, it urged me to upgrade my plan to unlimited DVDs per month for a few dollars extra, and this is when… at this particularly moment ‘The Law of Attraction’ in a quite mysterious way was taking place. I acted upon that feeling and for a reason that I cannot explain, I decided to search ‘The Secret’ and placed it on the next DVD being delivered. Here is what’s interesting though – I had seen the book ‘The Secret’ in my university’s bookstore before. A friend of mine has the actual movie. I know of friends who’ve read it, but for some reason, it never caught my attention. I never put ‘The Secret’ on my ‘reading list’. Never. Yet, some impulse drove me to rent it and rent it soon. And as I watched it, everything began to make sense.

I doubt the movie would’ve made sense a year ago, or even 6 months ago. How could it? I didn’t have the experience or knowledge for it to make sense. But it does make sense now. I caught a glimpse of the law of attraction and I know it’s real. Now I know that the more I use the law of attraction, the more I’ll understand it. Understand one more time that the secret can make you or break you. Your job is to learn to use it to your advantage, not against you. There is plenty of other examples I can write about, from the girls I have met to the guys who have become brothers to me, to the speaking opportunities I have been given to the positions I have filled, but I hope that what you read was enough. I encourage you to examine your life just a lil bit, take 2 minutes, that’s all and ask yourself… how did I end up here? What thoughts did I have that led me here? Certainly some people are luckier than others as they are born in richer or stronger families, but that’s just luck. Intelligence and burning desires overcomes luck – never forget that.

I highly encourage you buy or rent the movie (do it legally!) and that you keep an open mind. There are several things in the movie that are not covered in this article (one of them being that only you can make yourself happy). The movie is, of course, not complete either. There are many things for you to learn outside it, but it will spark up enough curiosity for you to go after that knowledge. Go after that knowledge.

Good luck. Much love. And remain faithful!

We all have our unique strengths and it’s important to embrace them.

Forum member Chikito mentioned something very important to me last night on Facebook (add us all here): We should focus on our strengths more than our weaknesses. It’s human nature to think of the bad things in life, and it’s often said that you don’t appreciate the good things until they are gone. Well this article is going to change all that because I ask you to do one thing: Find and develop your strengths. When writing a CV or a letter to any educational position it’s important to put across your strengths. In all interviews they want to know what you’re good at, and the exact same applies to a dinner out with your partner. They don’t want to hear a wing about work, they want to hear what you’re good at!

So then, what are your skills? It could be anything, and there’s no answer too small or irrelevant. Are you good at socializing, dancing, photography, mathematics, car modifications or playing a musical instrument? Are you good at talking on the phone for hours at length? Are you good at choosing the correct clothes for different events? Perhaps your strength lies with an academic subject or a sport?

Do not focus so much on your weaknesses, for your weakness can be someone else’s strength. And it will be a greater strength in itself to work with this person.

Strengths tend to be grouped, so if you’re good at one thing it’s normally the case that you’ll share that gift for another similar activity. For example if you’re good at photography, then you’ll probably pick up film and graphic design relatively easily. If you’re good at talking, then you might be able to write influential speeches with a bit of practice. Being good at one thing tends to mean that you’re good at a whole host of activities – so find your strength and then you can develop many more. You like swimming? Then try wake boarding.

University

Once you have pinpointed exactly where your strengths lie, come up with all related activities. By trying these new things, you’re most likely to develop greater strengths and passion for this area of expertise. And the world needs specialists. This is the step-by-step process that nearly all University degree programmes go through: In the first year you study a broad subject including modules from all sub-disciplines. Then in the second year you choose to narrow it down a bit, and focus more on the sub-disciplines you enjoy. By the third or fourth year you have specialized into the sub-discipline that you have the greatest strength and passion for.

Business

In Business though, it’s good to flip this specialization around and continue to try out new branches. Air Asia‘s business guru Tony Fernandes is known to spend several days of the year trying out all aspects of the company such as being the Check-In Assistant, Baggage Handler and Aircraft Attendant. Having a wide knowledge and experience helps develop strong foundations on which to focus on your strengths.

Relationships

Attraction is built on the exchange of positive value. Your strengths are your positive value, and the more of it that you have to give the more attractive you are. If you talk about your weaknesses all the time, not only is it boring, it’s exchanging negative value. Imagine an Alpha Lion saying to his Mare, “Sweetheart, I can’t hunt, I can’t fight, and I can’t lead my brothers. But please stay with me.” Realise that you do have strengths and thus positive value to give and you are already one step ahead. Never think that what your strengths are aren’t attractive because this simply isn’t true. There are potential partners out there that love the same thing as you, no matter how specialist and bizarre (read – The Art Of Speaking Little and Saying a lot). Although your date loves you to have many strengths, don’t be blind your weaknesses. Being able to recognize and beware of your weaknesses is a strength in itself.

Comparative Advantage

Some people are just better suited to certain things. It may be due to nature or nurture it doesn’t matter. So if there is a particular subject you’re terrible at, don’t fret too much. There will be other people probably very close to you (as Forum member Tonatiuh8 explains here) who are good at these things, and it’d be of greater benefit to focus on learning how to communicate with them so that together you can be a team (read – The Importance Of Being On A Team!). There’s no point filling your brain with irrelevant information that you’re never going to use nor enjoy.

“Some people think it’s holding on that makes one strong- sometimes it’s letting go.”

What are your strengths then? Take action now and reply beneath.

How many times have you heard someone waffle an answer to an important question?

How many times have you wished that you had just said something clear and concise?

With this article you will learn how to speak clearly. There are crucial moments every day where when asked a question, a clear answer is required. Learning how to voice your opinions clearly is an essential skill in both dating and business.

A few years ago I used to work in a retail shop and I would hear the following conversation over and over again…

“John, what do you think about these shoes?”

“Well darling they do look quite, you know, mmm yes they look fine. Actually they would go with that dress you have – yes that one. But when would you wear it? The color is good I suppose, well I’m not an expert on these things – my honest opinion? Er, well that depends doesn’t it? I like the heel, it’s a good shape. Yes.”

The lady in question would be frustrated by this time, tossing her head side-to-side, perhaps with a gentle tapping of the foot on the ground and a few short sighs, looking at me signaling help! Gentlemen – it’s time to toughen up. She doesn’t want to hear an actual discussion, she’s wanting to know if you’ll buy them for her. She wants a clear and concise answer, one that gives direction, leadership and if possible, honesty. “They look great darling. Buy them.”

Voice Clarity

Enough with the mind games, enough with the opinion openers (situational are fine) let’s get serious. The chase is all very well, and let’s face it – fantastic fun, but there are times (and girls) when you just want to be honest with your feelings. And that’s O.K.. Making yourself clear is a confident and bold move that few men have the balls to accomplish – yet it’s so easy. You know you can do it, “Excuse me, would you like to dance?” because you’ve said it in your mind over a hundred times. They are just words, and you have nothing to lose.

Group Discussions

Keep in mind the concept of making yourself clear when telling a story. Start with the end in mind. For example, imagine that you were having a conversation with a friend about a time you were simultaneously excited and scared. Begin with, “Skydiving has to be the scariest and most exciting thing I have ever done.” rather than, “last year in June, I was traveling around Australia and found myself in Brisbane. There I saw an advert for Skydiving…” Once you have delivered the story in brief, then go on to describe the feelings. People don’t like stories to drag on…Much.

Bad Language

Forget the annoying phrases ‘you know what I mean’, ‘you know’ and ‘to be honest’. Oh and the words ‘like’, ‘obviously’, ‘basically’ and ‘oh my god’ because they’re not good language, and you are just filling in for hesitation most of the time. Pausing briefly whilst you talk is considered a sexy thing, so embrace those ponderous moments and use them to your advantage. Thinking of what vocabulary to use? Stroke your chin and look up to the heavens.

Keep Emails Short

I always make an effort now to keep business emails as short as possible. If someone has a problem with a website that needs solving, I simply reply with the news that the problem has been solved, rather than a two page essay as to what had happened. When asked a question at work, reply as accurately and concisely as possible. If you’re able to summarise why your advertising budget needs to be boosted by 40% in one hundred words then you’re sorted. Furthermore, if you’re able to persuade the financial director to expand the budget in one hundred words then you have a talent.

However human expressions are difficult to convey at times, especially concerning love. We’ve all had a few emotional conversations in our time, where a question is raised which rattles the skeleton in the cupboard. How many of you guys reading this have experienced a girl friend asking a difficult question to which all you could do was mumble a response skirting around the issue at heart? You might have thought you got away with it, but truly she knows the answer: Mumble = No. As my Mother would say, “pull up your socks and just get on with it.” Life’s too short for confusion, so just say the truth and be done with it.

“Haven’t done your homework? – No sir, I have no excuse, I’m sorry.

Haven’t got that profit forecast? – No boss, I’m still having difficulty.

Do I look fat in this? – No dear.”

Have I made myself clear in this article? Clarity is the key to effective and efficient communication. Note – Clear does not equal brief. You can tell a half-hour story and still be clear, just through the way you speak and your body language. Don Varney explains in this YouTube video how to use body language whilst talking to express your point with greater authority.

Don’t mumble nor fumble. This is crucial during an argument. I was recently engaged in spoken battle where I quickly realised that with the current ‘heat’ I could easily get wound up in my own statements. For some reason, whoever replies quickest becomes a winning factor in a debate, yet it not need be so. When it was my turn to speak I paused, the silence felt heavy like I was pulling out a  great weapon, but it gave me time to observe and deliver a coup de grace. Control the situation, don’t let it control you. Be active, not reactive.

• Related Forum Post – Protecting Your Voice (A MUST READ) by Wicked

Public speaking is a fantastic way of learning how to deliver your opinions effectively.  Learn to engage your audience (eye contact, hand gestures, kinesthetics) and you will soon have the room’s attention (if that’s the goal). A few lessons are relatively inexpensive, but here’s 3 of the best YouTube videos to get you going:

1. Public Speaking – From Speaking Zero To Hero
2. Public Speaking – Conquer The Fear
3. Public Speaking/Presentation Skills Keynote With Robert Graham

Practice clear speech at all times. Make it your goal to be more passionate than Pavarotti, clearer than a Newsreader, and yet as entrancing as The Mysterious Man (from Into The Woods). Follow these simple speaking clearly exercises to gain instant results:

1) Slow Down

It is common sense, really; the faster you speak, the harder it is for your listener to understand. The easiest way to instantly increase the clarity of your speech is to simply slow down.

2) Pause

Pauses are effective little tools that can be employed in a number of situations. Use them to clearly separate sentences and when changing topics.

3) Speak Up

If you want to say something, really say it! Stand up straight, take a deep breath and speak on the exhale. Don’t cover your mouth with your hands, a book or your notes. Make eye contact with your listeners and speak directly to them, not down to the floor or to your slides.

4) Articulate Word Endings

In our haste to get our messages out, we often times fail to enunciate word endings – the grammatical markers at the ends of words, such as the plural ‘s’ or past tense ‘ed.’ If you don’t articulate these sounds, it sounds like you’re making very basic grammatical errors.

5) Use Clear Consonants

Here are a few examples of commonly confused consonant sounds: /b/ & /p/, /d/ & /t/, /g/ & /k/, /v/ & /f/. The first sound in each pair is voiced, whereas the second sound is voiceless. Place your hand in front of your mouth while you say these pairs out loud:

• gate/Kate
• girl/curl
• game/came

If you are articulating the /g/ and /k/ sounds correctly, you should feel an explosion of air when you make the /k/ sound.

6) Speak Simply

Never use a long word where a short one will do. This is a common rule most people have heard, but unfortunately very few put it into practice. Your main goal in every spoken interaction should be to have your message understood. Do this by simplifying your vocabulary and using common English words.

Speaking clearly is essential in many areas of life. Human’s have only learnt to communicate over the last 50,000 years which, relative to the history of the Earth as a whole is nothing. Let’s do our bit and help each other understand more. Yet here’s a last tip: Use humor.

By Daniel Becerra

“…The mouth speaks of what fills the heart.” – Matthew 12:34, The Bible

The Bible tells in the book of Matthew that as Jesus went recruiting his disciples, it took no more than three words to get his followers. “You, follow me”. And so they followed. Now, isn’t that short? When was the last time you used three words on somebody to get them to take action? Think of kids or even you three or four years ago (or even now). Somebody would begin talking to me and after two minutes, I would say ‘How long will this last!?’. Do you remember that? When you felt adults took all the time of the world to tell you something that they could have told you in two minutes… do you remember that? I certainly do. Funny thing is that as I’m growing into an adult, I too tend to make things complicated. I too tend to say unnecessary things to convey something. Though I’m happy to say it’s certainly less than before, I still need to work on it a bit, and don’t we all!? Einstein had it right when he said “any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex, but it takes a touch of genius to move in the opposite direction”.

Say a Lot and Talk Little

Your goal ought to be to say a lot and talk little, not talk a lot and say little. Your goal is to be precise enough to drive them to action. Long gone are the days where you can afford to waste time. You only get to make a first impression once and you gotta make sure you don’t screw up. For instance, you’re invited to a meeting, a conference, or a panel, and you’re asked for your opinion. Right there lies a tremendous opportunity for you to grow your business, network, or meeting someone that can change your life and if I was you, I wouldn’t mess with it. What would you do? Mumble through and give an overused, phony opinion or will you speak passionately and confidently while you let the best of your wisdom come out? It’s a simple concept – you need to be able to say a lot by talking little, and not the other way around. When you meet that good looking girl, you want to be able to convey the best of your personality in few words rather than telling the whole story. When you say “Come over here” you’re communicating more than just wanting her to get closer to you. Depending on how you say it, you could communicate dominance and strength or you can communicate insecurity and weakness.

Taking out the clutter

Almost two years ago I introduced a friend of mine to sales and he in his eagerness to learn, bought a voice recorder and recorded my presentation. To my fortune, that day I made two huge sales right in front of him and I was so proud of myself that I couldn’t wait to listen to the recording and study it. My pride didn’t last long as I began listening because soon enough those annoying “Umms” and “Ahh” and “ehhh” and “something like that’s” were there. Horrible. I’m asking you to become conscious of the words you throw. If you catch yourself saying “Umm”, stop, think over what you will say and then say it. Do not speak until you clearly know what you will say. Don’t feel alone on this, I used to (and still struggle not to) make this mistake all the time, just look at my videos and you’ll notice.

But clutter doesn’t only mean “umms” and “kindas”, it also means all the unnecessary words you throw around. Now it’s not just a matter of annoying noises, but a matter of preparation. Will Smith has a great quote “Always be prepared, so you don’t HAVE to get prepared”. This means, WRITE down your questions, edit them, rehearse them, and then rehearse them again. Feeling lazy to do that? That may just mean you don’t want it bad enough. Writing and editing this series of articles alone has taken me over 48 hours. I have to be sure I communicate the point across with accuracy – without boring people out of their mind.

Profoundness

“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.” – Lao Tzu

One of my favorite speakers of all times is the legendary Jim Rohn; his thoughtfulness and fatherly love is shown in simple statements. Statements such as “It’s not so much what I’m earning here, it’s what I’m learning here. It’s not so much what I’m getting here, it’s what I’m becoming’. You can actually watch him explain that here. It takes a lot of thoughtfulness and passion to say such sophisticated statements. It also takes a lot of study. The ideas don’t appear out of the blue, they are collected through a lot of reading and writing (Are you reading at least one book per month?) Learning to inspire is by far one of the best paying skills in today’s market and it will be for a long time. Steve Pavlina is another guy who is thoughtful and profound in his statements. Just look at their success today. Profoundness is not easy to reach, but the results are far more worth than the effort made.

Faith and Belief

Now, please, do not misunderstand. You do not have to be Jim Rohn-like-profound. I use the word ‘profoundness’ but it can be changed by ‘thought-provoking’ or ‘act-provoking’. Jesus’ disciples were so inspired by His teachings and actions that they spread his word after His death, and what a great job did they do! How? They believed. You don’t have to be super profound, but you DO have to believe. Nothing in the world can make up for real, substantial belief. If you really believe it, it shows. It is ridiculous to communicate something you don’t believe in. Just like not all the training in the world will help you reach fulfilling success unless you believe in what you do; not every tone and word in the world will help you to communicate unless you believe in what you say. Sure, you can get away with it for a bit, but once the lie is uncovered, you’re done.

There is not one specific trait for profoundness. It could be sweet as if it came from a little girl’s unconditional love or it can come from a professor who uses coffee and cups to explain life’s meaning.

Voice Inflection

“The sound of the human voice betrays the speaker, for the sound comes from the soul, while words fly off the tongue.” – Unknown

How often do you think about the sound of your voice? Let me tell you, not enough. Just like the belief and the words matter, the inflection in your voice also matters. It’s one of those things we all need to work a little on. Your voice is important. It can bring people closer to you or drive them far away. Yes, it is important. REALLY important. Think of the last time someone’s voice annoyed you so much, you just couldn’t wait to get away from that person. See how important voice is now? With your voice, you can bring people up or bring them down. And again, there is no secret formula. Speaking loud will not bring them up or speaking low will not bring them low. You can whisper and give people something to ponder for the rest of their lives – so drop that non-sense.

The secret to effectiveness is to speak from your heart. Immerse in your feelings and speak from your heart. Let the best of you take over and fear nothing. It can come in a soft-spoken manner or in a loud exclamation. The result is the same – others taking action. The biggest challenge is not to ‘learn’ to speak from your heart, but rather, to un-learn the need to hide what you really want. If it took you years to shut everything you wanted to say, why not take a  bit to unlearn it?

Emphasize the right words

The passion has to be found in your speaking and therefor certain words need to be emphasized. The ‘punch line’ as it’s called is critical. For instance, I have this line I usually throw “I’d be a great boyfriend, I think“. And when I say “I think” I throw a little funny tone. This humorous statement is much more powerful than “I think I’d be a great boyfriend”. The great comedian Henny Youngman became famous with his punchline “Take my wife, please“. It wasn’t “Please, take my wife”. Out of all things to be lazy about… it should not be language. For – as I said before – they can work miracles.

So practice, practice now. Start recording your voice and go crazy. Sing, recite and say the weirdest things you wouldn’t dare to say in front of others. Do it all while in solitude. I record myself several times before I throw a new line. I recently have adapted the whole ‘Heyey! Giiirl!’ and the responses are mind-blogging. I got it from Will Smith (from the famous Fresh Prince), but if you know me (and my accent) you can only imagine how the combination of that tone and my accent would sound. Record yourself reading. Record yourself speaking. Record yourself modifying your voice. It will feel like a waste of time at the beginning, BUT if you practice for at least 30 minutes weekly, it WILL pay off.

A Final Note

Learning to say a lot while speaking little is one those benefits experts talk about when they say ‘work on yourself’. It’s one of those untangible things that really make a difference wherever you go.  Just really think about it – in every ocassion that you speak or act, there lies an opportunity to get noticed. Every single statement you make could have a tremendous impact in people’s lives. I would want that, wouldn’t you?

1. Your language

The great Jim Rohn taught me “If there is one thing not to be lazy about; it’s language”. Words are just so powerful- how could they not be when words are what we use to communicate! You don’t need to be the next Shakespeare but it’s always delightful (and rare) to hear from a sophisticated person. It’s not so much the words that make the difference but the confidence and the ability that an extended vocabulary will give you. Exclude words such as “smart” and use “intelligent”, turn”talks good” into “well-spoken” and so on. I have noticed that the more I read from intelligent minds, the more intelligent I ‘feel’ and bit by bit, I have less trouble writing a speech that is not only eloquent but also engaging and inspiring. Work on your language by reading extensively and writing as often as you can. It will pay off, I promise you. It wasn’t too long ago that I couldn’t write an essay to save my life but now I have no problem doing so (especially when you consider that English is not my first language). I continue to work on my language because I’m seeing results, and the results are good.

Make the effort to research a word that you don’t know while going through a book or article. The words and discipline add up. They pay very well. Almost effortlessly you’ll be presented with more and more opportunities simply because of the power of your words. Trust, an extensive and sophisticated languages pays off very well.

2. Your voice

The great and controversial philosopher Friederich Nietzsche said that “we often refuse to accept an idea merely because the tone of voice in which it has been expressed is unsympathetic to us”. It doesn’t take twenty philosophy classes to realize this is true – we DO pay attention to voice more than we do to words. Have you ever heard a girl say “He sounds hot” when they have merely heard a man’s voice and not seen his face. It happened to me once. It was this experience that made me wonder what voice can do for you. Of course I can tell you over and over again how important your voice is, but you won’t really understand until you speak in front of an audience and actually get them focused on you. Just to give you a preview, I challenge you to record yourself and then listen – 9 out of 10 who read this will realize that you actually sound much different than what you thought.

Don’t be lazy about your voice. Take a public speaking class (offered everywhere) or a course (Toastmasters) to pave your way to a more appealing voice. Practicing in front of the mirror is not a silly thing to do, do it. Take every opportunity you have to speak in front of others as an opportunity to improve your voice. I know what it can do. Most of you know of my accent, it was a little worse before, not it’s just ‘not-so-bad’! An appealing voice can move masses and no man should ignore it. Again, take every opportunity to speak up and do it. Not only will you practice your voice, but you’ll also become more noticed.

3. Your looks

You only get to make a first impression once and whether we like it or not, that’s the way it is. As I said on this video “You wanna be prepared always, always, so that you don’t HAVE to get prepared when the opportunity shows up”. Always look your best, look sharp, look ready. It will reduce the chances of others doubting your ability to get things done. Yes, it is true that some people walk the walk and talk the talk, but are not very good at getting things done – but that doesn’t have to be you. Be the best of both worlds. Invest in your clothing. Invest in your image. Shower daily and shave to look great. Work on your body language and practice your smile in front of the mirror if needed. Just like your voice is important, your looks and the way you present yourself are as important. Don’t be lazy about them.

4. Self-Marketing

While it’s one of those things that I’m still learning, I know one thing very clearly – all marketing begins with exposure. You GOT to be out there. Think outside the box and be outrageous in your actions. Recently one of my friends (part of the same campus organization I’m part of) had a tremendous idea to get publicity for our semester party. It was International Women’s Day and as a way of honoring them, we gave roses to 12 girls in each organization in campus. It was a genius, outside-of-the-box idea and it paid off. Everywhere, girls talked about it and it helped us sell all of our tickets (quite fast) and still needing more to sell! Our reputation follows us because of this great idea. Exposure combined with outside-the-box thinking pays off. Speaking or acting with wit and intelligence during social gatherings is one of those things that give you an edge over everyone else. If you’re doing what everyone else is doing for ‘safety’, then you’ll have mediocre success at best. You don’t want that.

It’s scary to do self-marketing, very scary. True. I still remember being worried about the embarrassment of telling my friends and new people I met about the writing that I did. While I did tell them I ran a website, I didn’t market myself great enough for them to be excited about the idea of visiting this website. Things have now changed. I found two things 1) People are now hungry for refreshing content, more than ever before (especially college students) and 2) That the basic principle of getting others to ‘buy’ into what you say is to get them excited about what you do in less than 20 seconds. Seriously. If it’s not engaging and exciting during those 20 seconds, it will be rare that you get them excited later. Just think of the roses examples. Seeing a group of guys holding roses is engaging by itself, THAT took a fraction of a second and it paid. Be outrageous enough in every you do, from your clothing to your words and ideas. Be careful though, don’t cross the line from outrageously genius to incredibly silly.

5. Bi-lingual or Trilingual, or “XXXLingual”

I’m fortunate. Very fortunate. I spoke Spanish most of my life. And then I came here. Teaching myself English was not easy, but it paid off. There were plenty of embarrassing and funny moments. Believe it or not, I still tend to forget certain words, but my English today is eloquent and well-pronounced for the most part. Of course, I don’t claim a lot of credit, you have to be an idiot not to speak the language well after five years of being surrounded by people who speak that language (everyday, every time). In our global economy, the demand for multilingual speakers is ever-growing. The entrepreneur who can communicate in multiple languages is one step above. These extra languages are just too valuable to ignore them.

I find myself amazed when I meet a girl who can speak two or three languages; it is just such a turn on and it shows much intelligence and hunger for learning. It also shows cultural knowledge; which, of course, always helps. What a great thing it is to speak more than one language. Tom Church – a very special friend of mine and writer on this site – is currently on a backpacking trip exploring many different countries and he thought of writing this incredible piece “Languages are sexy”. Tom can tell you from experience how important extra languages are.

6. More Than One Skill

Elbert Hubbard has a great quote, he says that “One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary people, but no machine, oh no machine, can do the work of ONE extra-ordinary person”. What a simple truth! Man, because he was created to the image of God, will always have the greatest ability of all living beings (and computers) and that is the ability to think and solve problems. Schools (for the most part) don’t teach one how to live, how to make money, or how to love. They only teach you the skill(s) that are relevant to your field. But how much are they worth? How much can they help you when all of your class mates are being taught the same thing? They only help when you complement them with additional skills, such as the ones described in this article.

Learning how to do accounting is one skill. Learning how to accounting AND finances is higher paying skill. Learning how to make the accounting and financing enjoyable is even much more valuable. Go for that extra skill. No excuses.

7. Team Leadership

Getting people excited about something that you believe in is critical. Not only in business, but for regular Thursday, Fridays, and Saturday nights too (If you’re a party hardy, Sundays work as well). As a member of several organizations right now, and having passed through others, I can tell you that whoever is able to get more people excited about something is the one who is seen as the leader. Titles don’t matter a single bit. I have met ‘Presidents’ who had no control of their organization once o’ ever. It was usually someone else who was the leader and the one people looked up to. People follow the one who can get others to believe in his vision. They will go to that person for help. They will trust him. That person will be the man to go to.

It ain’t easy to become that person. While it is an honor to be the team’s leader; it is also a responsibility. The burden of leadership is heavy, but so are the rewards. However, realize that living is leading. We are always leading either for the good or for the bad. If you’re already leading, you might as well choose to lead for the good.

8. Know your field better than anyone else

Knowledge commands respect. Ignorance triggers mockery. Know your field, prospect, or act very well. The more you know about a certain subject or person, the more flexible you can become. While knowledge is not complete power; it IS the beginning of power. Ian and I started this website knowing very little, but our hunger for knowledge took us a little higher than we expected. We were able to quickly stand out because of the amount of knowledge we possessed. That knowledge empowered us and gave us confidence. It does the same for everybody.

This is why the website is heavy on books. We encourage book reading because it gives you so much knowledge condensed in one book. The experts have already traveled the journey you intend to travel, why don’t read what they have learned so that you save yourself some time? Choose your field – the one you love – and get started on it. Devour books on it and begin to experiment. Whatever it is that you do, be the best at it.

9. Learning to Inspire

Motivational speakers are not very well-paid. Inspirational speakers or figures are. In one of his letters, Ian Smith pointed out to me a phenomenal statement and I want to pass it on to you: “Motivation is ego-driven, while inspiration is love-driven. Motivation is temporary. Inspiration lasts a lifetime.” I believe that learning to inspire is the highest paid skill of them all, and not just in money. This is where all the Jim Rohns, Tony Robbins, Donald Trumps, Will Smiths rank. They are not only excellent in their business or career; they are also an inspiration to thousands, if not millions.

If you can help people see themselves better than they are, then you’re inspiring them. You’re not helping them ‘feel’ better. You’re helping them envision themselves to become better so well, so powerfully, that their vision alone drives them to action. Of course, there is no tricks or shortcuts to inspiration; perhaps this is why it’s such a high-paid skill. It takes years of preparation and character building. It takes hard work. It takes being a serious student. Learning to inspire involves ethics and it involves staying on track even when you want to give up.

When I write these articles, my purpose is not to inform or to marvel someone with temporary motivation. My purpose is to inspire others. It is to awaken the driven force they all have in their hearts. It’s not easy, but I’m happy to say it has worked a couple of times with a couple of articles. One person being inspired is quite enough. I encourage you to learn this skill. There is no measure for it it is just that important.

If you find this article helpful, consider making a donation and we’ll grow together.

Hard work pays off. Writing and thinking instead of just watching and hoping pays off. Preparation and dedication instead of leaving things to chance pays off. It may not be right away, but it will pay sometime, someday – do not worry, because it will. However, even then, suggesting that you work hard and that you dedicate time to thinking, preparing and writing does not cut it. There are strategies, there are ways of doing things correctly.

The pain of ignorance can bite you badly if you ignore it long enough, and the hardest part is that ignorance can be there even when we don’t believe it’s there. One of the most common mistakes is being just a follower and not a student. You will hear someone say “I’m a student! I read plenty of books on plenty of topics!”. Yes, you read them, but the question is “Do you study them?”. It is easy to get caught up reading plenty of stuff and yes, some stuff will stick in your unconscious and you will act accordingly, but that’s your unconscious and it’s only triggered on certain occasions. The best things happen when you design them intentionally. Not many great things occur because of luck, if any! Therefore changing your thinking, behavior, and beliefs will take more than just reading books. It will take right strategies and procedures. It will require you to be a serious student, and not a serious follower. The difference is key.

Let me show you the Cone of Learning.

Yes, the cone dates to 1969, but the measurement is still pretty accurate. Common sense should tell you the same thing. Don’t you remember more when you watch a movie than when you read it. Don’t you learn more about something when you see it done instead of just being told how it’s done? Chances are you do. Now, if you KNOW that reading is the most passive way of learning and realizing, then why are you only reading (Also, why is the school system still using reading as its number one source of learning?). I have advised my readers for a while now to not just read what I write, but THINK as they read what I write. Charlie Tremendous Jones taught me this through his books and presentations and it has changed my life. Chances are that a day from now you will not remember a single thing from this article, but you WILL remember what you thought of it. Therefore, think through it, rather than at the end of it. When you just read, you memorize; but when you think as you read, you REALIZE. Reading is just the beginning of the learning process! Get excited because there is a lot more to it than just reading!

It is not surprise that more often than not a person who has been working for years with little college education is more qualified than fresh college graduate with no job experience. Real learning comes from withIN and not from a book. The book is simply an incentive, but they can be magical. I love books for this reason, they will help you see things as the author saw them, and that alone saves so much time. Of course, it goes without saying that you need to study what you read and not just read it. Take notes, discuss the book with someone, listen to it on audio if you can, record your own notes from the book, stimulate what the book or article suggests to do, and then do the real thing. THAT is studying.

Statistics show that students who take notes, record heir notes, and discuss a subject in group are more likely to get better grades in college and university – that should tell you something. If you’re serious about REALLY becoming more sophisticated on your languages and manners, then take notes. If you’re serious about REALLY improve your dating life, then hang around the people who have a great dating life.

Getting a Mentor

“In order for you to be a compelling person you have to put yourself in a compelling situation.” – Dr. Renford Reese

If there is anybody who influences you in a positive way in any aspect of your life, you have the chance to become a better person; but you have to MEET and GET TO KNOW that person. So show interest and approach that person, email them, be interested in who they are and request them to mentor you, to teach you things. Once I discovered the incredible power of just asking someone to shed some wisdom in me, it made a remarkable difference. Books are a beginning and they will put you in the track to change your mindset and as your mindset changes, so will your ability to attract people who think like you. Engage this people and learn from them.

Be a student, and not just a follower. Be serious and you will succeed.

]]> http://pualifestyle.com/blog/student-not-follower/feed/ 1 http://pualifestyle.com/blog/realize-your-true-potential/ http://pualifestyle.com/blog/realize-your-true-potential/#comments Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:40:31 +0000 Ian Smith http://pualifestyle.com/blog/?p=86

By Ian Smith

I’m a firm believer that there is a definite rhyme and reason to the way the universe works. While I am fairly certain that it isn’t set in stone, and that many things – including humans – create fluctuations in the way the world unfolds.

The events and situations we face everyday are cleverly disguised opportunities to realize, develop, and exercise our true potential. Now what exactly do I mean by ‘true potential’? Well, that’s simple. Each and every human being on the is planet – regardless of their physical, mental, or emotional limitations – has an indescribable capacity do to basically anything and to become anyone.

Keeping this in mind, reflect upon your own situation. I will reflect upon my own current situation to serve as an example.

- I founded this website to assist people in growing and becoming true men, while in the process allowing myself to do the same. However, I am going to prison very soon. My potential to do what I love and what also helps me become a better person on a daily basis is going to be severely cut off. I won’t be able to log-on and interact with you fine gentlemen. However, will I let this limit me? Indeed it won’t. I have taken the time to make things work, regardless of the shit I must go through. I have found care-takers and placed my faith into the co-founders and other leaders of this website to ensure it runs for everyone to use. For my own growth, I will handle that in many ways, making sure not to waste my time idly as I sit behind bars.

- Over the last few years, I have spent time on a daily basis improving my physical health. I look back at the kind of shape my body was in before, or even look around at countless people around me and I’m appalled by an overwhelming lack of respect, care, and knowledge of healthy living. When I noticed this about myself, what did I do? I didn’t feel bad for myself because I was a flabby mess, I got into a routine right away. Now here I am today, in amazing shape. I can’t remember the last time I fell ill, or wasn’t able to accomplish something physically. That is potential. Potential to be excellent.

- In high school, I was a run-of-the-mill student. I got C’s and B’s with no effort. Despite recommendations to try harder from family and teachers, I ignored them and continued doing what I was doing. Soon enough I realized that stupidity and mediocrity aren’t cool. So I started a new. Upon entering college I opened my mind, focused my intellectual energies, and started to pay attention and ask questions. And before I knew it, I was leading discussions in class, getting strait A’s, and discovered a new-found desire to learn everything I could. Today, people commend me on a regular basis about my intellectual prowess.

None of these things came easy. Nothing was given to me, and chances are, nothing will be given to you. Even when it is, you’ll wind up going back and doing it for yourself later (if you want to really know and grow). So what’s the lesson here?

Realize your true potential. If you want something, then GET IT. Don’t bullshit. Don’t sit idly resenting those who have it easier than you. Stop feeling bad for yourself. And don’t get discouraged by an overwhelming task that confronts you. You want to be an astronaut? Then be an astronaut. You wanna be the man that everyone loves, then BE that man. But get ready to WORK for what you want, because that’s just half the FUN. You can guess what the other half is!

Namaste.
Ian Smith.

Side-note: Ian Smith is already in prison, but this article is so inspiring that I decided to dig through the old files and pull it out. This guy is one of my best friends and a mentor to me.
- Daniel Becerra

Model: Our very own Kris Hansen

By Daniel Becerra

This is not an either-or matter. Do not be fooled by the title. This article aims to clear up one of the things that I am sure has happened to you, is happening to you, or will happen to you.

What happens when you want to improve all areas of your life and you simply just don’t know where to begin? What happens then? Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you had so many things you wanted to improve that at the end you just ended up confused and improved nothing at all? Or what about wanting to improve one aspect of your life more than the others, yet you were afraid you wouldn’t take good care of the others? It has happened to me and plenty of people I know and if it happens on this side of the world, I’m sure it happens on your side as well.

What does it come down to? I will call it “Focus vs Balance”, I’ll explain why now. For sake of understanding, I will call “Focus” the one thing that you have decided to improve the most, the one thing that you want to improve in this new year, or maybe in the next 6 months. And ‘balance’ will be not messing other aspects of your life because you’re ‘focused’ on another particular aspect. For instance, someone who is trying to do a lot of business may have a tough time finding the time to exercise or to spend time with his family and so on. Or if you’re studying or working for long amount of hours, then you may not have an awful amount of time to hang out with friends.

The Focus

There is a difference between focusing and balancing. FOCUSING is a special focus. It’s that SHOULD turned into a MUST. It’s that one thing you must do everyday because it’s what is most important to you at the moment. I find that the best option is to select one aspect of your life that you will FOCUS on and let every other aspect just balance. What do I mean? For instance, the aspect I will focus next is Finances and Wealth. I plan to read books on how to earn money, read biographies of self-made millionaires or billionaires. I plan to do experiments, write on my journal about it, and so on. Does this mean I will drop public speaking (Toastmasters), this website,spirituality, friends, and school? Of course not (even if it means researching until 2 am, and waking up at 8 am). Although if I did and focused entirely on finances, then I’d learn much faster. But I will not do that because other things also need to be done. I think Zig Ziglar said it best “Do what you need to do, so later on you can do anything that you WANT to do”. No matter how much you hate it, some things just need to be done.

There is a need to be clear about what aspect of your life you will FOCUS on next and more importantly for how long will you do it. Some people FOCUS for a period of one year, others for 6 months, others for 3 months. You have to commit these periods and whatever aspect you work on to paper. That is how it’s done. Write it in your journal or Google Documents which is free and you can put as much as you want. It was stated before, when you commit things to writing, that is a sign that you’re taking your studies seriously. So right now (or as soon as you finish reading this article), I would like you to do this:

* Take out a piece of paper. Draw a triangle. Flip it over, so that the widest part is at top and the peak of it on the bottom.
* Divide it into anywhere from 4-10 parts. These parts will be the aspects of your life. You can break it into whatever number of aspects you want to break it. If you visit the forum, then you can have a clear idea of how to break it down.
* Take your time on deciding what truly is the most important for you to DO right now. It may surprise you that you will actually take some time doing this.
* The most important part should be on the top, and then work your day down.

You can see what it will look like if you look at the Cone of Learning. So let’s say that the most important thing to do right now for you is your college education. Then that should be on top. It will signal that’s the most important thing for you and the area where you will spend more time. In other words, it’s your top priority. Other areas will follow, of course. Here is the trick though, every other aspect of your life must be improved as well, because you cannot improve your work if you don’t improve your family or social life, they actually complement each other. Just like your fitness level complements your productivity in the workplace or at home. In God’s infinite wisdom, when we improve one area of our life, others improve as well. They all are connected. The trick is in doing all of them, but putting more time in that aspect that is really important. For instance, my cousin is a relatively muscular guy and he exercises, no doubt that’s important. If you look at me, however, I am not muscular , but I do exercise, a relatively fewer amount of time because that is not my priority. I get enough exercise to keep my head clear but not to grow massive muscle. In my cousin’s case, he exercises to grow massive muscle, and reads enough to keep himself hungry for knowledge. See the difference? My cousin’s priority is obviously different than mine. His is fitness, mine is knowledge. We both do exercise and read, but at different levels.

Another example, I remember clearly the days where my good friend Jamie Craven took seriously his goal on losing weight and gain enough muscle to make it as a model for a prestigious brand, as an underwear model. Did he do it? Of course! Not only did he go from slob to sexy, but also he was featured in a prestigious magazine. We spoke often during those days. He spent hours researching, feeding his mind with the knowledge required for that specific goal. He read everything from how many calories each food has, how many snacks to have, what burns more calories, and so on. He took notes. He asked people. In short, he took seriously. That aspect of his life (fitness) was his priority at that point. (And boy, he made it clear!). But he still made time to hang out with people, talk to friends, feed his mind with other knowledge, help in the website, and so on. He focused on something, and he just…

Let the rest balance

Jamie just let the rest of it fall into place. He did what mattered the most first and still kept with all of his other responsibilities. Follow his example. As busy as your schedule may get, you will notice that when you put your FOCUS first, all the other things will balance. Like I said for me this year, it’s about Wealth and Finances, so I will do whatever it may take to work on it. I’ll do whatever it takes so that I find time for everything else I have to do. For instance, I’m also studying the Bible and reaching a new level on my spirituality, so if I find it hard to read the Bible during the day, then I’ll make the effort to wake up earlier just so that I can catch a glimpse of it. On days where I’m busy and I don’t get much time to read, then I could buy an audio on businesses while I exercise. There are so many alternatives. When it’s a must, you will find your way to get it done and all the other commitments will take place on its own.

If you want it, you’ll find the way, believe me. On the other hand, if you don’t want it enough, if you don’t have a clear sense of purpose and mission, then you’ll find yourself wasting more time, and you won’t even be busy! As corny as it may sound, it’s not the circumstances but rather how you adapt to them. Listen to motivational stuff while you exercise, clear your room, or drive. Wake up earlier to finish a task you may not get enough time for otherwise. Read that book with your girlfriend and ask her to test you on it. Exercise with your girlfriend to kill two birds at once. If you’re trying a new diet, ask her for support and to check on you. There are so many ways, you just have to get creative to find them. I’m not sure who said it, but the message was clear, if you want to get creative, you must remain positive, and if you want to remain positive, you must remain DOING things!

Ultimately – time management is a myth. You cannot manage time. It’s the only thing you will never have control over. What you can manage is your priorities and that you make sure that you commit to them. Something magical happens when you put your priorities first. It’s as if everything was just on your side. Do not focus on time management, it’s a waste of time. (See what I’m saying?) Focus on flexible planning, focus on prioritizing, focus on getting others to hold you accountable, focus on developing a sense of purpose, focus on those things, and time will be your friend, rather than your enemy. Lastly, commit it to writing. I cannot stress that enough. Commit it to writing. When you write it, you focus. When you focus, you balance it. When you balance it, you have amazing time management. That means you’ll have time for the things that matter. And when that happens, you’ll experience… happiness.