By Daniel Becerra

Recently a lot of controversy has been stirred over my Facebook and Twitter updates – I can see why . I mentioned that “Revenge is sweet. Always get even” and the messages started flying in. Some criticizing, others supporting, others wondering who I was seeking to get revenge from. Of course, I will not mention any names, yet. Before I even continue, I clarify that most people have a negative notion of the word revenge, they think of violence or even death – that is not in any way, the revenge I advocate.

However, I AM of the idea that if someone attacks you, then you gotta attack back, only ten times harder. It serves for two reasons – one, to get back at that person; and two, for anyone else watching. When you make others respect you, they don’t mess around with you as much, if at all. Truth is, the higher you climb, the harder others will try to bring you down, and not always through clean tactics. I wish I could tell you that people are always nice to each other, but that’s not always the case. Sadly, a lot of people are out to there to get each other. Yes, there is good and evil; and you gotta do everything in your power to love and protect the good, and despise and fight the evil to the best of your ability. Not your typical advise, right? But it’s what works in the real world. If you let evil wander around, then you might as well become its ally.

Picture this scenario: Someone bullies you, and you do nothing about it. That bully will think he or she can do whatever they want with you. And worse, with others. That doesn’t benefit you, nor others. On the other hand if you get back at that bully, he or she will think twice about bullying you or anyone else around you. Again, violence may not be the way to go about it. I rather use my intellect to get revenge. Remember me for this, your knowledge and ‘I don’t give a ****’ character are both great assets in seeking respect and revenge.

It’s simple, you just gotta be as tough as nails. You gotta stand up for what you believe. You want to develop the ability to be tough and nice when the situation calls for it. If someone disrespects you, your organization, or a loved one – even if it’s out of negligence – then be tough and put that person in place. The key is to do it with class, not in an asshole way. There is a big difference between them. Of course, sometimes, it is easier to think the second, but don’t let those emotions get the best out of you. Be like a dad, even if it hurts you to do certain things, go ahead and do them anyway; it’s for your protection and of those close to you; and maybe even to teach a lesson to the bully.

Self Empowerment and Revenge

I’m a steward. I empower myself so I can pass it on to others. And I’m willing to make sacrifices so that most benefit, even if it means getting rid of one person or two. Empowering yourself is not a selfish act. Because of my career path, I am constantly working around people and I have a tendency to advise people when asked. I have mentored some and entered relationships with women that I have helped grow. But it has already happened that some turned their back on me. How? Disloyalty.

I cannot tolerate disloyalty. If someone does something for you, give them thanks – appreciate them. It affected me when I invested time in someone without expecting anything in return just to see no signs of gratitude or completely indifference when I’m going through bad times. It just kills my inspiration and I don’t need that, therefore I get rid of them. On the other hand, I go out of my way to help people who are there for me at all times. It’s just the cost of having a real friendship. I personally get tired of an ungrateful attitude.

Take for example a woman that I was dating not too long ago. I invested time on this girl. I spoke to her about being always prepared, about realizing that our actions always have consequences that we are not even aware on, about leadership and love. I spent time with her when she was going through bad ones. I made her smile through it. We had a great time together, full of humor and good experiences. But in the moment I needed her the most (right after receiving some of the worst news I have received) she consciously decided to get drunk and completely ignore me. That’s pure negligence and stupidity. After that, not only I couldn’t trust her, but I couldn’t respect her either. She called me the next day apologizing as she did once before, but this time I wouldn’t take it. I wasn’t an asshole, but I told her the truth “I don’t trust you nor respect you. You’ve, indeed, disappointed me”. She has been calling a couple of times but I never pick her calls no more. She texts me asking to talk or get together, I never respond.

Did it hurt? Of course. It’s not easy cutting people out of your life. Make no mistake about it. I’m not saying I’m a cold-hearten bastard and just kick people out of my life and feel nothing inside. It actually hurts – a lot. I make tough choices, even if I mourn over them, because some things just need to be done. You just can’t afford some people who have given themselves to a dark side of their nature.

Now if a good person (not a bad one, never forgive a bad one) makes a mistake and they make a sincere apology, forgive them and move on. But my advise is to never trust them again – unless, of course, they consistently try to gain your trust back. Remember Lincoln’s words “Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than anything else”. Are they worth your trust? As good people as they can be, can you afford to trust them? Be wise here.

Oneness and Revenge

You have probably heard me talk about oneness, and that concept may seem contradictory to revenge. That’s not true. While oneness recognizes that we are all one, oneness also seeks to exclude those that damage the entire body. Your best defense is sometimes a good offense. You want to be on the offense when others try to damage you or beat you. There are certain things you just cannot afford to let happen, for the sake of oneness. Protecting yourself and getting revenge is not a selfish act, it’s an act on behalf of oneness because you exclude the evil.

The point is simple, if someone wrongs you badly (to the extent of causing you to lose plenty of things you have) and you do nothing about it, then you’re no longer kind or nice, you’re just a loser. And of course, you go against oneness. You gotta help protect the good, this can mean both actively working on yourself and actively working against those who work against oneness. Please, for your own sake, do not confuse kindness with weakness. Kindness is letting other people where they go wrong, even if it requires a bit of a tough attitude. Weakness is letting people walk over you. Be kind, not weak. If you have a good reason to get revenge or to go tough on them, then by all means, do it. But don’t be tough if you don’t have a reason to be it.

It can be hard to start getting revenge, and it can be hard to kick people out of your life who hinder you more than help you. But you got to do it. Exercise your courage and view things on the perspective that benefits everybody. It will benefit you for you will have less hindering people in your life. And it will benefit those who hinder because they will learn a lesson. Hopefully the pain of regret will soon exceed their pain of change. Begin bit by bit if you have to. Begin saying “NO” to small things a hindering person may repeatedly do, then build your confidence up. Again, don’t let people walk over you. If it’s worthy of getting even, go for it.

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