To achieve a goal, sometimes it helps to become obsessed with it: to work at it arduously; to think about it all day; to dream about it at night and to talk about it consistently. An obsession can turn into an addiction – it becomes your source of enjoyment and if you enjoy working towards your goal that can only be a good thing, right?

For the last two weeks I’ve been working towards a goal: Gaining an Easter and Summer internship at a major bank in London. It started as just a mild curiosity – a few friends had done and recommended it, pointed me in the right direction and always an optimist I went for it like the carrot and the stick. Finance, I thought, what do I have to learn to be good at this? The answer is, as some investors will heartily answer, everything. Having previously studied Economics, I couldn’t say I was a complete novice to finance, but if I were to accomplish my goal a serious thinking cap had to be put on. So I changed the question to what don’t I know?

Reading through a few copies of Investors Chronicle back-to-back (no mean feat!), I highlighted every term that I didn’t know with a red pen. When I flicked back through the pages, it looked as if someone had had a nosebleed all over my magazines. It didn’t take long to realize that I had to know the basics first to be able to read a similar text comfortably and take some relevant lessons. All new topics, subjects and disciplines have their own language, they have unique vocabulary, jargon, phrases and humourus sayings that without a basic understanding forthwrightly would not come about with ease. For instance, when discussing the stock market you may hear quite often the terms bull and bear. Bull means it’s going up, bear means it’s going down ( created out of the attack styles of the animals).

To realise what you don’t know is a painful, but a very revealing exercise. It not only shows you great weaknesses in knowledge, but also new avenues to explore. With a new exercise book at the ready, I listed all the terms that I did not know and started researching definitions for them. This process is constantly ongoing because with every question answered, a whole new topic is revealed. For example, I’m currently investigating the tell-tale signs of a ‘market top’ – when the stock market is about to reach a peak. One sign is that of liquidity (a whole new topic), another is volatility plus eleven other ‘trading secrets’. It takes a very long time to investigate each of these and if you manage, it I’m sure you (like me) will be starting to become obsessed.

It was only once I started to develop these foundations that I could read a financial text and enjoy it. I actually found myself laughing at some of the quips, to which I then laughed even more – gaining enjoyment out of an obsession. It was at this point exactly that I realized that for as long as my curiosity leads to enjoyment I could accomplish this goal. If you’re not enjoying the journey, then what’s to say you’ll enjoy the result? There are many financiers, or students seeking to be, who have this goal in mind to become super-rich leading to happiness. They work all day and night in boredom and depression trudging aimlessly to a goal which won’t make them happy. At first you may be daunted by the task ahead; finding that you are essentially an infant in this new quest for knowledge and experience is not a pleasant realization. But once the wagon gets rolling, if you’re still not enjoying it then perhaps you should jump off before it’s too late.

Three nights ago, however, I could not sleep. The obsession had turned into an addiction and I was literally having withdrawal symptoms as I tried to get away from my thoughts. A friend had sent me a link earlier that day to Barclays internship webpage, where on it was a podcast from a recruitment employee talking to a bunch of wanna-be interns last year. As I listened to it, I was actually nervous. It was like I was in that room, he was talking to me, and I was shitting myself.

“You should be reading the FT everyday for three months. The Economist every week, and practicing GMAT questions until you can do them blindfolded. You should be able to answer whether you think oil prices will go up or down, and more importantly why. We get twenty thousand applicants to six hundred places, if you want this, you have to fight for it.”

Despite all my previous reading and learning, I did not feel in the slightest confident enough to take these guys and girls on. And I still don’t now…Not yet. It was time to seek help, to surround myself with like minded individuals as I had learnt so many times before in self improvement. I called every friend who had experience with applying or gaining internships, I began to hang out with them, talk to them constantly about it (if they’re reading this now, thank you!) follow up on all their advice, where to go, what to read, what to learn and who to talk to. I spoke to my Dad about it who thankfully works in a relevant sector and so he more than happily dished out countless texts, newspapers and magazines on my desk. Every string was pulled and by the end of the day. I sat there bewildered at the shere volume of stuff I had to sift through. My mind was on overdrive, I felt crap, I felt like I was doomed to fail and that I was being ridiculous to even have the audacity to try.

But then a thought set in: Goals are never easy to achieve, indeed you probably wouldn’t set one if they were. Yet there are some goals that will consume you, or at least try to and that’s what happened to me that night. I’m unsure whether it’s healthy or not to get so involved, so commited but looking back now despite only being three days ago I don’t regret it. I knew how to deal with stress – step back and observe the situation, so that’s exactly what I did. With some deep breathing I meditated until all thoughts came to a calm, then I tried to sleep and failed. Ah well.

This is an obsession now, and since that morning I’ve been growing in confidence as the pieces of this giant jigsaw come together. I have been reading the FT everyday, I will be reading the Economist every week (it comes out tomorrow), I have been reading the Investors Chronicle, finanical texts, practicing GMAT questions (mathematics test used in recruiting for management and financial institutions), learning more and more definitions, financial history and synoptic links but this is only worthwhile if I keep my eye on the ball. Sometimes a goal can go out of focus and it’s important to reign it in. For example, in a game of soccer, you need to keep your eye on both the ball and the goal.

For this reason I’ve also been researching the application processes, calling up all contacts and trying to get work experience to strengthen my CV. Thankfully I’ve gained a week or two at the FT, and may also have a week in Barclay’s. In this world of qualifications there is still a prevalence for the age old saying it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Perhaps most importantly however, I started early. When asking yourself ‘when should I start this?’ The answer is almost always ‘five years ago’. Knowing your deadlines adds to your drive, so if you don’t have one, create one and stick to it. An obsession is diluted with time however, for if I knew I had many years to accomplish this I would by no means be striving so hard to accomplish it. Because I only have until September, I know that every second counted is a second wasted. If you do create a deadline, make it difficult for yourself, make it a challenge.

Obsessions get things done. Perhaps in a month’s time I’ll look back and say, you call THAT an obsession?! Yet at least I know that I’m enjoying this journey despite it’s pressures and that’s the crucial part. An obsession is only bad if it’s a) detrimental to your health, b) causing negative effects to third parties or c) something you don’t enjoy. I don’t think I’ve ever been so engulfed in something that isn’t love before. It’s a good feeling, waking up with a purpose, a goal and direction for the day and so I highly recommend it.

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