By Ian Smith and Daniel Becerra

As a personal development student, and someone who has come to understand the PUA community – I have made some (what I think to be) valuable observations of some very common mistakes made by men who emerge themselves in the PUA world.

1) Not Everyone is trying to “AMOG” you – This I think, is one of the most common mistakes I’ve seen overall. I see posts, threads, and articles all the time posing questions or situations where the author is simply over-reacting. I’m not suggesting that people aren’t going to try to show dominance over you in social situations because this does happen all the time. However, you have remember to take a joke sometimes. You don’t always have to take a comment as an attack on your social character. If someone says “Nice earing fag” then that’s definitely a situation where you would want to take the offensive and shoot back. However, I can say with a pretty high degree of certainty that most of the time, other men aren’t consciously trying to AMOG you. So instead of always being in attack mode towards other men in social situations, befriend them and joke with them.
2) Just say hello - This relates closely to my last post entitled “Don’t over-complicate things”. Again, I see dozens upon dozens of threads and posts by people asking for “openers”. I find this so silly. Sure, these canned openers can work. But seriously, it’s not natural to store these sound bites in your head. And it isn’t worth worrying about. Whatever happened to smiling and saying “hi”? You don’t have to make it such a production, you can, but you don’t have to. People are more receptive to social contact than you think, you don’t have to put on this big show of opening when in reality, chances are she won’t remember what you said a week from now. So instead of worrying yourself sick about which opener to use, just walk up to her and say what you want – whatever that may be.

3) Lose the attitude - As a side effect of learning this occult knowledge, PUAS tend to turn into giant douchebags. While this may be a vast generalization, I have found it to be relatively correct. They go from a shy, timid man who can’t muster up the balls to squeak out a peep to a woman into a raging douche who puts on a top-hat and one too many silver rings who all the sudden is convinced that every woman wants him and every guy wants to be him. This “I’m the shit” attitude isn’t attractive, and quite frankly it’s annoying as hell. In most cases, despite their best efforts the attitude comes across as try-hard or a huge over-compensation for a deep rooted problem. Just be humble in your thoughts, words, and actions.

4) Learn the difference between cocky/funny and cocky/not funny - There is a MAJOR difference, please just learn it for you own good. As much respect as I have for David DeAngelo, I think his ‘creation’ turned into a monster, even though I’m sure that was not his intention. Try use self-deprecating humor, that is, smiling at yourself, but not sabotaging yourself. Hank Moody from Californication is such an example of self-deprecating or cocky/funny humor.

5) Live in the moment - Another side effect of having all this knowledge is that men tend to spend their time analyzing mistakes and planning for the future (creating routines and lines) instead of living in the moment. Self-reflection is good and so is planning for the future, however, this can get out of hand very quickly. Enjoy your time in the now. When you’re in a social group, stop thinking so much, stop worrying about what was just said and how to properly respond or if you responded correctly. Like I always say, roll with the punches and live in the NOW. There is a balance between the three, find it, and embrace it.

6) Stop dedicating SO much time to one aspect - Being successful with women is NOT the most important thing in your life, end of story. You can’t argue otherwise. While sometimes it may seem like it, they are merely a desire – one of many. This stuff really isn’t that hard guys, I hate to break it to you, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. Dedicate some time to it, and take a break. Go live a bit. Go develop other aspects of your life. Go to the gym, go read a book, go learn how to cook some new foods, go play frisbee, whatever it is you may want to do. This is possibly the greatest pitfall. I see people with 1000′s upon 1000′s of posts in a very short amount of time and I can’t help but wonder….what are they doing with their life? This stuff is great guys, it works, and it helps. But it is only one facet of an amazing world that is endless in possibility and infinite in wonder.

7) Communicate, not entertain - Humor is great, but you are not there to entertain, you’re there to communicate, identify, and later commune. Don’t speak too much. Let her speak. Listen. Part of being interesting is showing interest in other people, put some effort into it. Keep in mind that anyone can forget the things you said, but no girl will forget how you made her feel. So rather than learning all these great lines that will create certain responses, learn why those responses occur and the lines, actions, or whatever will come out naturally. Of course, I’m not suggesting you manipulate anyone, but I am suggesting that you take the time to learn why things work the way they do. As Jim Rohn said “When you have enough why’s, the how’s will come”. Other techniques such as peacoking can be ridiculous if misused. I apologize if you wear a dildo to a nightclub, but that is just obscenely childish. Moderate them. Remember that you’re not there to entertain, you’re there to communicate.