By Daniel Becerra

Silence is death. When we keep things to ourselves, then they become missing truths, and a missing truth is equivalent to a falsehood. Through personal experiences and the testimonials of many people around the world, it is safe to assume that not speaking up means pain and sabotage, and even beyond that, it means not growing, ever. The trick, of course, is in learning to speak up to yourself and to others so that you do more good than damage. Let’s explore how not speaking up can damage and has damaged the world.

Health

In the 1970′s, AIDs entered a nation but no one spoke about it. It could have been fear, it could have been shame. We waited for a leader, but none came. The President of the Nation did not dare to speak up! It wasn’t until too many deaths from all walks of life took place. It was a moment where artists, doctors, children, and the elder came together for one common goal: To speak up. It was the act of speaking up, world wide, that enabled treatment of AIDs. It gave hope. And it all began with speaking up.

Your body needs proper feeding and proper cleaning, as do your mind and spirit. Do not wait for something horrible to occur to take action. Exercise regularly. While many people will argue that you have to push yourself to truly develop physique, I will argue against that and tell you that 30 minutes of running or fast-paced walking (as in being out of breath a bit) combined with proper nutrition will do you plenty of good. Keep in mind that what the type of exercise you do is not nearly as important as what you eat. Recognize the truth of your body, what you like about it, and what you dislike about it. If you have some symptoms of illness, don’t stay quite, speak up. If you fear you may have caught something in a sexual encounter, fear nothing and go get checked.

Someone once told me that God or life gives you situations in which you’re able to solve or prevent a particular mistake, but if you don’t fix that mistake, a greater one can occur. You don’t want to happen. Fix one thing at once. Speak up to it. Do not stay silent. If you do, no one can help you but yourself, and opposite to popular belief, you can not do everything on your own.

Social Skills and Relationships

When proper communication lacks in a relationship, then both sides suffer. I have found myself in this situation several times way too often and I can honestly say that I’m just beginning to learn. I’ve never had those deep meaningful conversations, in which we explore each others’ side of the story, with a partner before. I’ve had plenty of them with friends, which is why I’ve kept friends for longer than I have kept lovers. The reason why I have never had those type of conversations with lovers before is because I never tried hard enough to keep someone in my life, but it wasn’t until now that I realize that communication is so important. Not the communication of “where I am”, “what you do”, and the like, but rather the communication that leads to identification and communion.

It all begins with speaking up. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right in a relationship that is just forming or has existed for a long time, then say it. You don’t need the right words, but you do need the right attitude, if you work with your partner, friends, lover as a team, rather than rivals, the words will flow naturally. I recently was in a situation in which me and this beautiful girl told each other everything that we wanted to tell each other and the wall that had separated us is falling down bit by bit, and we are connecting a little more each day. Sure, there are still many things that disconnect us, but they will be solved.

As a man, you’re to prove your unconditional love and strength. You must lead and assume the consequences of whatever actions you may take. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, you must be willing to risk losing her if you truly want to win her. When you speak up what you feel, there is a chance that an hidden truth will create risk, but risk is necessary. You must go through that risk of losing her to bond stronger. Again, trust your instincts. They may fail you once, or twice, but they will be of great power once you begin to exercise them regularly. Speak up.

If you’re trying to improve your social skills, that is approaching, talking, flirting, seducing, and so on, then be true to yourself and admit what is it that you need to work on. Get a friend or wing man and agree to point out each others’ mistakes truthfully. In the process of getting a wing man, you have to be really careful about how honest this individual is to himself.

Personal Development

Nothing attracts more failure in personal development than not truly acknowledging your own truths. Whatever situation you’re in right now, you must accept it and begin with it no matter how awful or dim the future looks from that perspective. This was one of my biggest blocks. I couldn’t gather up enough guts to acknowledge my faults to myself, let alone to others. Furthermore I couldn’t do enough things to fail to show me some truths that I couldn’t see. Until recently, I have been sharing my shame and faults with others and it’s working so well. Of course, there is resistance for some, but others are encouraging me and congratulating me.

Despite other people’s reactions, the outcome for you will always be positive if you accept the status quo as something that can be improved, not the end of the world. Stay true to yourself and if you believe in a God, stay true to him as well.

There is a price to personal development and truth and that price is this: In order to really learn something, you have to immerse in it. You have to make it a habit. It’s not a thing that you do every now and then. You have to become it. Just like when you learn language, you learned it because you spoke it so often and within a couple of years (maybe 10) you had an almost full grasp of it. Same applies with any other area, it takes time and persistence. I found that it is really easy to sit down, read some books every now and then of great content and do nothing about my personal growth. But when I became completely immersed in it by reading for long amounts of time, listening to presentations, writing about it, and so on, I actually begin to take action. I could feel the drive in me, and it all occurred because I became immersed in it. Getting immersed to improve in something is not an option, it’s actually the only path. As one of my friends said when I asked him about his successful life, and he said “You have to be committed”

A Final Note: Don’t you stay silent

You can build your power by beginning to speak up now, one inch at a time, by stating what appeals to you and what does not. If it feels like too much of a step to say “Enough is enough!” all at once, then begin by listing down things you dislike about whatever it is you’re trying to get rid of. Soon enough, you will have enough reasons to kick it out of the window and out of your life. But again, even writing those things down slowly takes commitment, for which, you can use some help by immersing yourself in whatever area you’re trying to improve. Buy books, listen to tapes, join a club for the purpose you’re pursuing. People who share a common goal can be of extreme help when it comes to build power.

I hope that you realize that staying silent can kill. It can kill a relationship. It can kill your health. It can kill your growth and dreams. I can not think of any other way to emphasize it more. Speak up!