By Tom Church

How many times have you heard someone waffle an answer to an important question?

How many times have you wished that you had just said something clear and concise?

With this article you will learn how to speak clearly. There are crucial moments every day where when asked a question, a clear answer is required. Learning how to voice your opinions clearly is an essential skill in both dating and business.

A few years ago I used to work in a retail shop and I would hear the following conversation over and over again…

“John, what do you think about these shoes?”

“Well darling they do look quite, you know, mmm yes they look fine. Actually they would go with that dress you have – yes that one. But when would you wear it? The color is good I suppose, well I’m not an expert on these things – my honest opinion? Er, well that depends doesn’t it? I like the heel, it’s a good shape. Yes.”

The lady in question would be frustrated by this time, tossing her head side-to-side, perhaps with a gentle tapping of the foot on the ground and a few short sighs, looking at me signaling help! Gentlemen – it’s time to toughen up. She doesn’t want to hear an actual discussion, she’s wanting to know if you’ll buy them for her. She wants a clear and concise answer, one that gives direction, leadership and if possible, honesty. “They look great darling. Buy them.”

Voice Clarity

Enough with the mind games, enough with the opinion openers (situational are fine) let’s get serious. The chase is all very well, and let’s face it – fantastic fun, but there are times (and girls) when you just want to be honest with your feelings. And that’s O.K.. Making yourself clear is a confident and bold move that few men have the balls to accomplish – yet it’s so easy. You know you can do it, “Excuse me, would you like to dance?” because you’ve said it in your mind over a hundred times. They are just words, and you have nothing to lose.

Group Discussions

Keep in mind the concept of making yourself clear when telling a story. Start with the end in mind. For example, imagine that you were having a conversation with a friend about a time you were simultaneously excited and scared. Begin with, “Skydiving has to be the scariest and most exciting thing I have ever done.” rather than, “last year in June, I was traveling around Australia and found myself in Brisbane. There I saw an advert for Skydiving…” Once you have delivered the story in brief, then go on to describe the feelings. People don’t like stories to drag on…Much.

Bad Language

Forget the annoying phrases ‘you know what I mean’, ‘you know’ and ‘to be honest’. Oh and the words ‘like’, ‘obviously’, ‘basically’ and ‘oh my god’ because they’re not good language, and you are just filling in for hesitation most of the time. Pausing briefly whilst you talk is considered a sexy thing, so embrace those ponderous moments and use them to your advantage. Thinking of what vocabulary to use? Stroke your chin and look up to the heavens.

Keep Emails Short

I always make an effort now to keep business emails as short as possible. If someone has a problem with a website that needs solving, I simply reply with the news that the problem has been solved, rather than a two page essay as to what had happened. When asked a question at work, reply as accurately and concisely as possible. If you’re able to summarise why your advertising budget needs to be boosted by 40% in one hundred words then you’re sorted. Furthermore, if you’re able to persuade the financial director to expand the budget in one hundred words then you have a talent.

However human expressions are difficult to convey at times, especially concerning love. We’ve all had a few emotional conversations in our time, where a question is raised which rattles the skeleton in the cupboard. How many of you guys reading this have experienced a girl friend asking a difficult question to which all you could do was mumble a response skirting around the issue at heart? You might have thought you got away with it, but truly she knows the answer: Mumble = No. As my Mother would say, “pull up your socks and just get on with it.” Life’s too short for confusion, so just say the truth and be done with it.

“Haven’t done your homework? – No sir, I have no excuse, I’m sorry.

Haven’t got that profit forecast? – No boss, I’m still having difficulty.

Do I look fat in this? – No dear.”

Have I made myself clear in this article? Clarity is the key to effective and efficient communication. Note – Clear does not equal brief. You can tell a half-hour story and still be clear, just through the way you speak and your body language. Don Varney explains in this YouTube video how to use body language whilst talking to express your point with greater authority.

Don’t mumble nor fumble. This is crucial during an argument. I was recently engaged in spoken battle where I quickly realised that with the current ‘heat’ I could easily get wound up in my own statements. For some reason, whoever replies quickest becomes a winning factor in a debate, yet it not need be so. When it was my turn to speak I paused, the silence felt heavy like I was pulling out a  great weapon, but it gave me time to observe and deliver a coup de grace. Control the situation, don’t let it control you. Be active, not reactive.

• Related Forum Post – Protecting Your Voice (A MUST READ) by Wicked

Public speaking is a fantastic way of learning how to deliver your opinions effectively.  Learn to engage your audience (eye contact, hand gestures, kinesthetics) and you will soon have the room’s attention (if that’s the goal). A few lessons are relatively inexpensive, but here’s 3 of the best YouTube videos to get you going:

1. Public Speaking – From Speaking Zero To Hero
2. Public Speaking – Conquer The Fear
3. Public Speaking/Presentation Skills Keynote With Robert Graham

Practice clear speech at all times. Make it your goal to be more passionate than Pavarotti, clearer than a Newsreader, and yet as entrancing as The Mysterious Man (from Into The Woods). Follow these simple speaking clearly exercises to gain instant results:

1) Slow Down

It is common sense, really; the faster you speak, the harder it is for your listener to understand. The easiest way to instantly increase the clarity of your speech is to simply slow down.

2) Pause

Pauses are effective little tools that can be employed in a number of situations. Use them to clearly separate sentences and when changing topics.

3) Speak Up

If you want to say something, really say it! Stand up straight, take a deep breath and speak on the exhale. Don’t cover your mouth with your hands, a book or your notes. Make eye contact with your listeners and speak directly to them, not down to the floor or to your slides.

4) Articulate Word Endings

In our haste to get our messages out, we often times fail to enunciate word endings – the grammatical markers at the ends of words, such as the plural ’s’ or past tense ‘ed.’ If you don’t articulate these sounds, it sounds like you’re making very basic grammatical errors.

5) Use Clear Consonants

Here are a few examples of commonly confused consonant sounds: /b/ & /p/, /d/ & /t/, /g/ & /k/, /v/ & /f/. The first sound in each pair is voiced, whereas the second sound is voiceless. Place your hand in front of your mouth while you say these pairs out loud:

• gate/Kate
• girl/curl
• game/came

If you are articulating the /g/ and /k/ sounds correctly, you should feel an explosion of air when you make the /k/ sound.

6) Speak Simply

Never use a long word where a short one will do. This is a common rule most people have heard, but unfortunately very few put it into practice. Your main goal in every spoken interaction should be to have your message understood. Do this by simplifying your vocabulary and using common English words.

Speaking clearly is essential in many areas of life. Human’s have only learnt to communicate over the last 50,000 years which, relative to the history of the Earth as a whole is nothing. Let’s do our bit and help each other understand more. Yet here’s a last tip: Use humor.