By Ian Smith

I’m a firm believer that there is a definite rhyme and reason to the way the universe works. While I am fairly certain that it isn’t set in stone, and that many things – including humans – create fluctuations in the way the world unfolds.

The events and situations we face everyday are cleverly disguised opportunities to realize, develop, and exercise our true potential. Now what exactly do I mean by ‘true potential’? Well, that’s simple. Each and every human being on the is planet – regardless of their physical, mental, or emotional limitations – has an indescribable capacity do to basically anything and to become anyone.

Keeping this in mind, reflect upon your own situation. I will reflect upon my own current situation to serve as an example.

- I founded this website to assist people in growing and becoming true men, while in the process allowing myself to do the same. However, I am going to prison very soon. My potential to do what I love and what also helps me become a better person on a daily basis is going to be severely cut off. I won’t be able to log-on and interact with you fine gentlemen. However, will I let this limit me? Indeed it won’t. I have taken the time to make things work, regardless of the shit I must go through. I have found care-takers and placed my faith into the co-founders and other leaders of this website to ensure it runs for everyone to use. For my own growth, I will handle that in many ways, making sure not to waste my time idly as I sit behind bars.

- Over the last few years, I have spent time on a daily basis improving my physical health. I look back at the kind of shape my body was in before, or even look around at countless people around me and I’m appalled by an overwhelming lack of respect, care, and knowledge of healthy living. When I noticed this about myself, what did I do? I didn’t feel bad for myself because I was a flabby mess, I got into a routine right away. Now here I am today, in amazing shape. I can’t remember the last time I fell ill, or wasn’t able to accomplish something physically. That is potential. Potential to be excellent.

- In high school, I was a run-of-the-mill student. I got C’s and B’s with no effort. Despite recommendations to try harder from family and teachers, I ignored them and continued doing what I was doing. Soon enough I realized that stupidity and mediocrity aren’t cool. So I started a new. Upon entering college I opened my mind, focused my intellectual energies, and started to pay attention and ask questions. And before I knew it, I was leading discussions in class, getting strait A’s, and discovered a new-found desire to learn everything I could. Today, people commend me on a regular basis about my intellectual prowess.

None of these things came easy. Nothing was given to me, and chances are, nothing will be given to you. Even when it is, you’ll wind up going back and doing it for yourself later (if you want to really know and grow). So what’s the lesson here?

Realize your true potential. If you want something, then GET IT. Don’t bullshit. Don’t sit idly resenting those who have it easier than you. Stop feeling bad for yourself. And don’t get discouraged by an overwhelming task that confronts you. You want to be an astronaut? Then be an astronaut. You wanna be the man that everyone loves, then BE that man. But get ready to WORK for what you want, because that’s just half the FUN. You can guess what the other half is!

Namaste.
Ian Smith.

Side-note: Ian Smith is already in prison, but this article is so inspiring that I decided to dig through the old files and pull it out. This guy is one of my best friends and a mentor to me.
- Daniel Becerra

Model: Our very own Kris Hansen

By Daniel Becerra

To honor Ian’s excellent article on Simple Ways To Become More Attractive, I will follow up with Part 2 of it. These ways of becoming more attractive are as simple as the former, but they are just different. The thing is that both are simple to establish, but also simple to neglect. This list should enable you with tools to connect both sides and achieve results if you haven’t gotten them yet. You may have noticed that you were encouraged to exercise, educate yourself, sleep appropriately, work on your manners, and so on – and while what you get by following this lifestyle is great, what you become is actually greater. In other words, what you become is greater than what you get, and I don’t mean just looks-wise, I mean ‘spiritually-wise’.

Count Your Blessings, Not Your Misfortunes - An  attitude of grattitude is the first step for altitude, and dating too. It is easy to fall into the trap of focusing exactly on what we don’t have, this leads to endless sense of un-achievement. Of course, if you’re focusing on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. But amazing it is, that when you’re grateful for what you have, you often get more of it in nicer, bigger proportions. Not to count the positive attitude that will be radiating from you at all times. Let me give you an example, rather than complaining about your 5 extra-inches belly, be thankful for the fact that you have food to eat, while others don’t, and that you have the ability to use your legs, arms, and brain to exercise, while others don’t. When you take five to ten minutes of your day, everyday to become grateful for what you have, you often (not always by the way) will go out with a positive attitude, and as a consequence, achieve more.

Help others achieve what they want - It was the master motivator and sales guru Zig Ziglair who said “You can get enough of what you want if you just focused enough on helping other people get what they want”. Great women appreciate a man with a good heart as much as they appreciate a man with intelligence. I first saw evidence of the latter when I started dazzling people I knew for a long time when they heard me speak intelligently, and furthermore, write intelligently. Months later came up the former. I started getting involved mentoring kids, doing small workshops to donate to charity and so on, and sure enough many more girls admired this. The principle of helping others achieve what they want is not just related to charity or helping others but to your very interactions with others in social scenarios. Women go out to have fun and even though, they know some disrespectful guys will come by, they hope that it’s minimal, so if you can just be the guy who can help her achieve that piece of mind by making her smile and be genuinely interested in who she is, then you too will be helping her achieving what she wants, and as a result she will find herself more attracted and comfortable to you.

You’re not perfect - Absolute vulnerability is the most desirable strength, yes? What does this mean? It means having courage and a strong enough backbone to stay a man not only when things are all good and fun, but also when things are ugly and complicated, especially if it’s wholly or partly due to you. It means to admit your mistakes. Admit your jealousy. Admit you’re not the best at one thing. Admit this is not ‘your night’. Admit that you can be grumpy at times. Some people may expect you to be perfect, but those people are doomed to be disappointed for life. In this world, we need to get used to imperfection. It’s the only thing there is! Intelligent and higher level people understand that we are humans and vulnerable to mistakes, so if you admit them, you will become more human in their eyes, and as a side effect, more attractive and desirable.

Laugh at yourself – This goes hand in hand with admiting your mistakes and using humor for greater success. Smile at yourself and your silliness. If you make a silly mistake, don’t try to cover it up and become perfect. Laughing at yourself only adds more confidence to your level of attractiveness, this means, of course, becoming even more attractive. This doesn’t mean “sabotage yourself” or “Talk-down on yourself”. It simply means having enough confidence to smile at your silliness. Consider throwing lines such as “I can’t get it up” or “I’m only this good looking on Tuesdays”. When you begin to smile and laugh at yourself, then not only will the others admire you and find you more attractive but also they will model you. Soon enough you will…

Have them laugh at themselves - If you can laugh at yourself, then they can laugh at themselves. This makes the experience more unique because then they can act like ‘total dorks’ and still feel loved, wanted, and appreciated. Ask any girl if this doesn’t feel damn good. Not just girls, but us guys too. We appreciate those who we can be ‘total dorks’ with, and still be considered amazing. Not only that, but it will make anyone feel more human. Remember that at the end of the night, the week, the month or the year, they may forget what you said to make them laugh, but they will never forget how you made them feel. So throw some lines such as “I swear you’re not being a total loser tonight…”, or have them act silly with you, then accuse THEM of being silly. The point is not to ridiculize them, please DO NOT DO THAT, but rather to encourage them to smile at themselves. Per say, you’re in a relationship, and she goes momentarily crazy on you, do not shout back at her. You’re NOT COMPETING with her (Really, you’re not competing with your girl, that’s lack of manship). Wait for her to relax and show her that you recognize that something is bugging her and you will not leave her side, then have her smile at herself using a sweet line like “I almost had to hide under the bed when you started yelling”. And WATCH how much more she will admire you. You will of course only have enough wisdom and experience to get people to laugh at themselves if you learn to laugh at yourself – so get working on that.

Keep your friends – No one likes to date a loner. Your friends are not there only to back you up, but rather to help you bond stronger with whoever you are. If you’re dating someone, they are of great help (sometimes may be not, in that case, change your friends). If you are just flirting around, your boys or girls are there to back you up. Keep your friends. I know nothing sweeter than a group of girls giving each other emotional support, and in all honesty, I find a woman who helps her friends (with real issues) extremely attractive. I have no doubt women find men who help their friends (with real issues as well) attractive too. Do not give up the time you spend with your friends for anyone. Find a balance between them and whatever else you may be doing.

Keep your passions - Same for your passion. Nothing attracts other higher-level individuals that those who have a passion for something. I believe this is where Mystery’s success lies. I’m not his biggest fan sincerely, much less his method. I do believe that the guy is much greater than the sum of the parts of his method, because he is got a passion, a calling. That is what makes him and many other great people I know so good. They all have this incredible ability of making women feel so special, of making them feel like they are the only woman (or women) in the room. These are what you call ‘seducers’. Of course, not all of us are Casanovas. I myself am not a Casanova. I do not want to be one. Why? Because my passion is not women, it’s people. It’s making them think of ways to grow. And this passion has allowed to grow more attractive in their eyes. You do not have to be a Casanova to bring attractive people into your life, but you do need a passion. That should remind you again to not follow the trend or try to achieve someone else’s results, but rather create your own trend and follow it, your results will be unique on their own.

I doubt this list is finished, but for now I’ll cut it out. I hope you liked it and got something out of it.

1- Get in shape: Any man can sweep off any woman off her feet, true, but, it doesn’t help you if you’re overweight or scrawny. This doesn’t mean turn into a meathead muscle machine but get yourself into a routine, the internet is a huge resource to find out information about getting into the perfect shape. Don’t do it just for women (or men), do it for yourself. Your body deserves to be treated correctly. Run, jog, swim, lift weights, watch what you eat, stop smoking cigarettes, don’t drink as much, don’t do drugs as much. A woman loves a man who is physically attractive, once again, your body isn’t going to get you the girl, your brain and what you say is. But it will surely help. The resources are out there available – use them.

2- Get the correct amount of sleep: Doing so will not only improve the way you look, it will improve your memory and all other brain functions. In turn, making you wittier, funnier, cockier, whatever. Also, it will keep you from getting sick. I can’t tell you how many girls I’ve blown it with cause I was sick and gave it to them. Its such a turn off, both ways.

3- Change your hairstyle: Go for something new, if it doesn’t work, it’ll grow back. Don’t go for the run of the mill buzz-cut or slicked hair. Go to the barber shop and look in a magazine and find something. Trust me, it’ll work. Facial hair as well, grow out some sideburns, cut them off, grow a goatee, cut it off, go clean shaved, or try looking scruffy. You’ll find something that works for you.

4- Get some new clothes: As much as I don’t like buying into the fashion world, it helps. So get some new outfits, even if it isn’t your style, you’d be surprised what a couple new threads will do for your confidence and the ladies love it, even if you don’t. Dress as if you’re already the person who you want be.

5- Educate yourself: Instead of spending three hours a day sitting in the PUA forums and reading new crappy canned methods. Pick up a book, newspaper, or internet article and educate yourself. Women love smart men, that’s a fact. You don’t have to be Einstein. I’ve heard countless guys whining “My life is boring, I don’t have anything to talk about”. This is in your hands, you’ll have plenty to talk about if you just read three books on psychology, history, science, current events, or whatever else you find intriguing. Reading not only furthers your knowledge, it enhances your vocabulary – which again you don’t need to be a human dictionary, but eliminating “that sucks” and “cool…” and “nice…” and “kinda…” and other countless boring words from your speech and replacing them with advanced words makes you more attractive. You can count on that. In addition, reading will further your ability to speak properly and aid in your grammar. Nobody likes to be around the guy that says “like” and “uhhh…” and other filler words every 15 seconds when he is speaking. You want be attractive? Intelligence is one quality every single girl will list when asked about what they look for in a guy. It will also enhance your humor and will allow you to capitalize on more opportunities. Why? Because you’re now far more intelligent.

6- Mirror effective personalities: Now, don’t be a mirror of the people. But mirror their good qualities and add them to your arsenal. Whether its a T.V. character who has a good cocky/funny attitude or someone you meet who you just thought was an interesting person. Nobody on this Earth is a completely original person, everything we say and do is picked up by others, usually subconsciously. So be conscious of it, and you’ll find great success. For example, I mirrored many of the qualities that a character named Dr. Cox on the T.V. Show Scrubs displays.

7- Talents: Everyone has a few, find them.

8- Work on your manners: I have seen dozens upon dozens of random guys and even my friends blow it with a gorgeous girl because they didn’t cover their mouth when they sneezed or coughed. Say “Bless you”, “Thank you”, “You’re welcome”. Hold doors open for people, let someone walk in front of you instead of being the jerk who pushes through. There are dozens of common courtesies that many people just forget to do. At the end of the day, a girl wants a man she can be proud to be around, and one that will treat her with the respect she deserves. Don’t lose your cocky & funny attitude or whatever your game plan is, but be a genuinely respectful person and it will surely pay off. This can be one of the greatest form of value, given that very few people practice it.

9- Develop your knowledge and skills in interesting areas of human interest: While I don’t recommend all of them, they are certainly nice to have under the sleeve. They are not needed, but they are just general knowledge. So don’t rant: “I would never do that!”. You don’t have to.

10- Magic Tricks - I don’t know any, but I can shuffle a deck of cards 8 different ways, and when I play games at college, girls are amazed that there are more than 2 ways to shuffle a deck. Instant conversation starter and attention grabber.

11- Tarot Cards/Runes - Even though I have grown to hate them from doing so many reads, I keep a deck visible in my room at all times. They cost no more than 25 dollars and it comes with a book. It’ll take you a few weeks to get the hang of them, but do it anyway. Countless girls have been dazzled by my reads on them. I’ve even done reads on guys at a party and had a group of girls waiting in line to be next. Cut it off and tell them you’ll do it later, they will bug you for your attention and wait for you while you walk away and go interact with someone else. (In love and war, everything is fair)

12- Astrology: Pick up a couple books on astrology (I recommend Sextrology and Astrologically Incorrect For Lovers). Learn your sign and the general details on women signs, you won’t need to learn any other guy ones obviously. I’ve met many beautiful women with just asking them when their birthday is, don’t ask the sign, know what dates correspond and you’ll knock her socks off. A nice trick to have under the sleeve, but again, it is not necessary. And no, do not make this a priority.

13- Psychology: I go to college, and I honestly couldn’t even give you a ballpark figure on how many women are Psychology majors. You don’t have to be Seigmand Frued, but if you can hold an intellectual conversation with a women about psychology, she’ll love you forever. They don’t even have to be Psychology majors. All girls love psychology. It’s what they do. They are natural psychologists. Even if you don’t use it to converse about, use it to your advantage, you’ll be able to read social situations hundred times better with even a basic understanding of psychological theories.

14- Philosophy: It will open your mind in more ways than you can imagine in turn making you a more intelligent being. You will not only learn Philosophy, but you will live it.

15- Sports: Some girls love sports. Even if you hate them, know something about them. Thirty minutes of ESPN.com won’t kill you. If you don’t use it with a sports girl, use it to befriend the five guys that are surrounding her.

16- Politics: Again, you’d be surprised how many women are Political Science majors. Myself, I love politics, some people hate it. But if you can converse or even school a girl on the current political disaster we call our government, she will find you attractive. (Warning: Some people get very heated while engaged in political debates, never loose your cool because you’ll just look like a jackass)

17- Music: Develop your taste in music to include more than crappy mainstream rappers and pop music. Listen to all types of music, my old roommate knew the words to more songs than I can even begin to name. Everything from Johny Cash to N*Sync, seriously, his current girlfriend was so amazed by his musical variety that I think that was their first deep conversation. That has the word “Value” written all over it.

18- Interesting General Facts: Learn interesting facts of all types. If you meet a girl from Alaska, “Did you know that the Alaskan coastline makes up more than half of the entire US coastline?” I met a woman from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil the other night and told her how much I loved the statue of Christ the Redeemer that sits atop the Corcovado Mountain and how beautiful the view is looking down into the city. She was absolutely stunned that I even knew that it was there, I didn’t even have to tell her that I have never actually been there. She was too busy drowning in my words as I continued the conversation. Simple facts like this will separate you from the other one hundred guys she sees and meets that day.