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No doubt, journals are crucial. After I recorded the video Clarity in 2009 (mind the bad lighting for this one), I received some emails specifically about the journal part. Like I said in the video, I understood the importance of journals, but I wasn’t necessarily using it to its full potential. This article explains how I made transition, it’s pretty lengthy (2956 words), but it’s worth reading it. It took me almost 7 hours to finish it. If you don’t have the time to finish it now, feel free to print it out and take it for reading somewhere else.

I first began to journal with the Lifestyle Challenge that Ian Smith and I created almost a year ago. Later, I was reminded of it when I attended a seminar hosted by SUCCESS magazine (excellent event). I actually got a free ‘Jim Rohn Leadership’ journal there and I began to jot down thoughts, ideas, and emotions on it; but after a while, I grew less motivated to do handwriting. So I moved on to computer journal and I started my journal in a Word document, but still I lacked a bit of discipline in keeping up with it, although both forms DID help me bring more clear answers to the questions that before wandered in my head without answers, or sometimes, questions that I asked other people, yet their answer wouldn’t satisfy me. But when I really started getting the hang of it (you never get the hang of it the first time), I started asking questions in such a way that I would answer my own questions, either as I wrote, or later on in a sudden moment. (By the way, now I use Google documents, it is much easier to keep up with and it allows you to do an easy ‘Search’ function.)

There is some sort of magic that takes place when you ask yourself well-worded questions – well, it’s really the beauty of the mind and body. These well-worded questions not only help you connect with yourself, but also to really connect with others. We have a journal section in our forum that members use to track their progress or tell a particular story. And it won’t take too many questions to ask so that you know that the use of a journal is incredibly efficient. For one, many of them share that writing their story made them realize something they hadn’t realized before. Second, one member’s journal entry can be read by others, making them closer and also, seeing a real life experience (it’s a lot easier to learn that way, instead of the ‘do this, do that’). I think it’s safe to say that in this forum, members know each other better than in any other . Now, let’s explore what well-worded questions are, and why they are so efficient.

Well-Worded Questions

The first thing we need to realize is that well-worded questions do not give immediate answers. In fact, most of your initial answers will only serve to clear up that which doesn’t work. Well-worded questions are true seekers. They find what is true for you. You can also use well-worded questions or well-worded statements to make someone else find what’s true for them, and you watch, they will love you. Only you can ask yourself these questions. You WILL meet some great people who will ask you great well-worded questions and will change your perspective completely, but that will not always happen. For most of your life, it has to be you who does it. Yes, there will be a point where you can ask questions to others that are so deep, that will have powerful realizations, but it all must begin with you.

Second, these questions take some time, do not give up. At the beginning you will ask questions that are not so appealing, but with time you will ask yourself some killer questions. You must immerse yourself into your journal. You will feel silly at the beginning, but that will evolve, sometimes in the course of 5 minutes, sometimes in the course of 5 days. For instance at the beginning, I asked myself ‘How can I make this routine work?’, but of course, I didn’t find any inspiration for the answer, yet as I kept writing, the questions evolved to ‘Why a routine?’, ‘What makes a routine work’?, ‘Can I use something else besides it’?, ‘Why am I so worried about making this work?’, ‘Why do I want it to work?’, ‘What will I accomplish if it works?’, ‘If it works, is it fulfilling’? you know the rest of the story. It’s a funny feeling, really. When you begin writing these questions, you actually find it a bit hard to stop at times and others, hard to continue – keep going, the answer will pop up. Here are some questions directly pulled out from my journal. It is safe to assume that the wording of these questions are appealing to me. And they may not be appealing to you, but they will get the point across.

I began with these questions

Are the people in my life real?
Am I being completely honest with them?
I want a beautiful girlfriend with a certain number of traits. What are those traits?
Am I being thoughtful to my friends?
Am I being as human as I can be?
Am I constantly seeking to make friends?
Why am I so focused on making friends?
I have to talk to more people. Attend to more events. And be THERE.
What do I want my life to be like? What do I want my life NOT to be like?
Am I understanding people more each day?
Am I identifying with them?
Am I being true to my family? Am I calling them enough? And doing enough for them? Am I being a good son? A good brother? A good role model?
Am I ready to commit?

Here is how they evolved

* How can I be completely honest with people? Why do I need to be honest with people? What will be the consequences if I’m not honest with them?
* How can I meet AND keep the woman I will deeply fall in love with?
* How can I be more thoughtful to them? What are some good and simple ways to show appreciation to them? ‘Thank you’ cards, random text messages wishing them a great day or good luck on their exam when they are not expecting it, an email with an e-card that makes the smile, treat them to a nice dinner every now and then.
* How is one more human? How does one get rid of the masks we are conditioned to have? What will happen if I’m not human? What will happen as I become as human as I can be?
* I wanted to seek to make friends, why? How will I make friends? What traits do I want these friends to have? How will I keep a great friend? What will be the nature of a friend relationship? It’s clearly not someone who only comes to see you when there is a beer at home. How then?
* How can I understand people more? What questions or statements I can make to understand them more? To get to know them more? To get them to trust me? How will I know once they have understood me? What will happen when I have the ability to understand people more? What will happen if I don’t?

The list goes on, but I’ll cut it off there for now, or the article will be too long. I think you can see some notorious differences. The first entry was a sort of auto-evaluation, it’s a way of getting in touch with truth. It will help you figure out where you stand. This is not science, by the way. You don’t have to be a super genius to answer those questions, but you do have to trust your instinct. Don’t sabotage yourself over the answers either. I wrote the answers separately, of course. Those answers (some that can come in writing, others come in your head in an instant) led me to write down other questions, better questions. And as I wrote those questions, more interesting things happened. What happened? I got answers. And these answers gave me me a clarity that I hadn’t felt before. I’m more driven. I’m more determined. And I gotta tell you, while the journal didn’t do it all by itself, it certainly was one of the most influential parts of it.

Note: It is obvious to assume, that you must use your own questions.

By the way, it doesn’t always have to be those kind of ‘generic questions’. You can also apply them for whatever instant moment you want. For example, in sales, there is this saying that goes “He said something, but he was saying something completely different”. This simply means, someone can say something, but they mean something completely different. Well, I kept asking myself “How can I figure out what he is saying, instead of what he says?”, there were plenty of answers that begun with the list of patterns on the movements every prospect would make. So I wrote those down, then I wrote down how I worded the questions I asked (I must say sometimes we don’t realize how poorly we ask questions), and then I begun to see patterns that allowed me a bit of more success and understanding in sales. It’s the same with the opposite sex, especially women *cough*. Write down your questions, and stay on them until your questions are so powerful and specific that you can not help but to be inspired by them.

The Answers to your questions

If you thought the questions were tricky, wait until you try to come up with your own answers. It can be a lot trickier and a lot more frustrating. For instance, once I wrote this question “Why is it that I stop trying when I see something getting away from me?”. This was not really the proudest moment in my life, but I share it here because I know there will a be reader or two who can relate to this question. The answers that came up at first were vague. They were usual one-liners. ‘I’m scared’, ‘I’m not used to this’, ‘Maybe I don’t have interest’, and obviously none of the answers felt right. I remember this particular question took me days to figure out. I would write and think about it, often. More often than usual. The answer came to me one day when I asked my dearest friend “Tell me one thing about me that I probably don’t know”. She took a couple of seconds to make up her mind and study my face and she calmly said “I think… that when you commit to a relationship, your vulnerability will show and you will become weak. That’s why you don’t commit to many. Other people may buy it, but not me”. I had my answer.

That answer by my friend was key. I can clearly remember saying “She told me this and how true is that? She probably knows me better than I know myself, how many things about myself am I not aware? How could she know this? What experiences have we had that can lead her to this conclusion?” Well, we did date shortly and later slept together several times, not just that, but we’ve had those intelligent conversations often. So she does know me pretty well. I remember saying “So, it is true. I’m afraid”. Beautiful, I was sure now and I just needed to know why. As I was in the treadmill one night, the answer popped into my head. “You’re scared because you’re afraid of investing time again and not seeing results”. Now, this sounds like a pretty common answer, duh, but there is a big difference when the answer comes from WITHIN rather than outside. Huge difference. The answers from outside helps you memorize and act it out to go from there, while the answers from inside help you to realize and live it out. What a difference.

Be aware, as you write, some ideas will come to you in crystal clear words and you’ll have an ‘Aha!’ moment, others will be pretty blurry in your mind and your job will be to write it down until you figure it out. For instance, if you ask yourself “What does a magic moment look like?”. You can surely picture a magic moment in your head (Chances are you’re picturing one right now) but can you live that magic moment at once? Maybe not. If I asked you to describe how a magic moment can occur, then you may have a bit of trouble doing so, even when you can see it clearly in your head! Isn’t that crazy? But if you begin to write, and write, and write, you will get to a point where you can actually describe and feel pretty accurately how that magic moment can be created. You will have gone from imagining a magic moment to having enough knowledge and within-education to know how to CREATE that magic moment. In other words, you will take the invisible and make it visible.

The difference that makes the difference

Writing it. Writing it makes the difference. Someone said it “Writing is the beginning of wealth”. I’m by no means very wealthy, but writing has enriched my spirit so much. When you write it, you remember it. It’s so crucial. Jim Rohn said it “If an idea is worth listening to, worth reading, worth remembering it, then it’s also worth capturing it in your journal. And there are many reasons for making the effort to capture good ideas, not the least is the simple fact that the simple act of writing something on paper helps to make the idea firmer in our mind.” Of course, it’s not just ideas, but questions, quotes, pictures, and realizations too. Write down everything as it comes into your mind. Don’t focus about organizing it by segments. Let it flow and soon you’ll be more organized than you can imagine. My entries actually have quotes all over them, because I will happen to read something and I just know I have to write them down because if not now, they will be helpful later. You can go back to your past journal entry pretty easily and see how you thought back then and compare it to how you think now, or you can check for unanswered questions that you’d like to answer now. You can check it for a great idea that you couldn’t apply at the moment, or you forgot to apply it, but now you’re free and able to apply it. But if you had never written that idea down, you could never apply it – then or months later.

I will re-state the question I asked in the video I linked you earlier, What could be more important than improving things so that they give you the best result? What could be more important than writing down my questions to ask the next girl you meet, or the next prospect you’ll help? What could be more important than writing down your presentation or a new funny line or a new way to make her day, or his day? What could be more important than understanding yourself? Is it worth doing so? You better believe it. Whether you want to improve your dating life to get one girlfriend or if you want to live it like a playboy, the advise is the same, get a journal and write on it. If you’d like to share a public journal – one than you can always easily go back to – then join our forum and I’ll create one for you. If not, go ahead and use Google documents, it’s the best that I found. If you can afford it, I recommend “The Journal” software too.

I encourage you to be a professional. A professional is a serious student, one that studies his or her entire life, not just one who goes to work everyday for a paycheck. Be a serious student of your life by jotting down ideas, quotes, feelings, questions to your personal life, questions for your relationships, your goals, and even to-do lists. When I’m outside, and I hear something amazing (it happens often when you expose yourself) I write it on my cell phone and when I get home, I write it on my computer. You should do the same. I used a pocket-notebook before for notes outside home but I have switched to cell phone now – you know, technology . If you’re going to attend an important event where there will be need to use something besides your cell phone, and cannot take a laptop, then definitely take a notebook. You’ll be amazed at how many ideas you can collect in a week when you begin to write them down. Write them, before you forget them. There is nothing as effective as the answers that you can come up with, because you will feel an automatic drive to apply them. There is no telling in what you can realize when you write. There is no telling in what you can become if you keep a journal. There is no telling what you can do if you live as a serious student. I know you want to be one. If you finished reading this, then you definitely want to be it. Congratulations.

It was Mike’s turn. You see, Mike doesn’t like to get too sentimental. He hates it as a matter of fact. “I hate crying, man. It makes me feel so stupid. That’s why I never cry”. He confessed this to me later, in an attempt to play things off a bit. I thought it was funny how he justified he never crying. I asked, “What’s one thing really close to your heart, Mike?”. Without hesitation, he mentioned “My family”. I actually knew this about Mike. His family is everything to him, even when his father says the best thing for him to do is to join the Army, because he doesn’t have a future here; and even when his sister supports his father. His mother is in Pennsylvania and he misses her very much. His family is everything to him, period. “They mean everything to me, man”. What would you do for them, Mike? I asked. “Anything”. He said it with a conviction that left me to ask no more questions. He wasn’t the type of guy to get the least emotional at any moment, but I knew what he was hiding. “Thank you, brother” I said smiling. Anytime, said Mike.

“Ask me. Ask ME” said Natalie, more like a girl in school who knew the answer to the question the teacher was asking. Indeed, she knew her answer and she was eager to answer it. She is a gorgeous, super tall, goofy girl, and probably one of the nicest girls I’ve met. “Alright, Natalie. Since you’re super anxious, I’ll ask you – Tell me one thing really close to your heart”. “My Madea” she said it with such a big smile and excitement that it was clear that she meant it, although I had no idea what ‘Madea’ meant. “Your what?”. “My Grandma, Daniel. She’s 91!” she added “We call her Madea” and then “Oh, my grandpa too! Except that he passed away in 99″. So I asked “Did they raise you?”. “Well, I grew up with my entire family, but I love them to death. They are really fun”. I continued with “Cool. Now, if you had one day with them to do whatever you want. What would you do? Where would you go?” She thought about it for five seconds. I loved her enthusiasm. “I would just go to her house (Grandma’s) and sit down with her and listen to her stories. She always told us stories. It’s always interesting because she lived through the Great Depression, the War, and all of that” She continued “She told me there was no job and almost no food.”. To which I responded “She lived through the Great Depression, that’s right. That’s gotta be awesome to hear from”. She simply said “Yep”. I added ‘And we complain about this recession, right?’ Tell me about it, she said. “Alright, Thank you, Nat. You’re adorable”.

“Melody, it’s your turn. Do you mind answering the question?” I asked. She took her time to respond. “You already know, hun. But I’ll say it anyway” She was right, I already knew the answer to my question. There was no doubt in my mind that the closest things to her heart were… “My sons, I would do anything for them.” Melody is a mother of two. She’s 29 years old and surviving from paycheck to paycheck. It flashed into my mind when she told me weeks ago “Working to this company is not exactly the job dream I wanted to do, but it helps me keep my sons alive and well off”. Back into the conversation, I asked “If you could leave them one thing, just one thing before you part away, what would it be?”. She contemplated the answer for what seemed like an eternity (which really weren’t more than ten seconds) and she said quietly “A father”. She was moved, by this time, and everyone else just watched quietly. “They need a male role model, right?”, I asked. She responded “Yeah, besides their Papi (Daddy), but he is not exactly, you know…”. I knew. The father of her kids wasn’t exactly the father we all would want to have. “They’ll be fine”, I added “I promise” to reassure her of it.

“Linda!” I shouted while I smiled. She had a smile on her face now. She knew her answer. “Do you mind if I ask you now? Are you ready?”. She responded “Yes”. Alright, let’s hear it. She responded passively “My sister”. “I had a feeling you would say that, you know?” She laughed and exclaimed “You did?”. I did know. I met Linda one night and after 2 minutes of talking, I said to her that I could see some sadness in her eyes. And I truly meant that. Although she smiled at first, saying “I’m okay”, it didn’t take too long to tell me about her sister who suffers of Anorexia. She went on that night to tell me about being really worried about her. Going back to the conversation I asked “I’ll ask you the same thing I asked Melody. If you and her for whatever reason had to be separated, what would you want her to have?”. Her answer taught me something. “Her boyfriend” She added “Since she’s been with him, she is been much better. Not throwing up, eating better. She needs him”. I see, I said. “Daniel. My sister and I have never really connected but I love her, I really love her”. ‘I don’t doubt it, Linda’ I responded. “I really care for her”. I knew. I knew she cared for her. Linda is one of those girls who can care for people a half world away. Whoever wins her over will be one lucky man.

“What about you, man?” Mike asked. In between I had told them that I would go last and that at the end of all of it, I would explain to me why I asked them these questions. I knew my answer long before they asked me.

“People” I continued “My passion is people. Well-known friends, family, or just known acquaintances differ in nothing in my eyes. I’m learning and trying to see everyone equal” Bit by bit, although I get off track quite often I’m learning to love more. “That’s what is closest to my heart. No longer do I believe in achievement, money, sex, cars, etc. That will go away once I’m gone. If there is anything I want to leave behind is a legacy. At least a bit of change in the world. I want to leave people with a better connection and acceptance of each other. That’s what I want” And it’s true. No matter what color, what religion, what sexual orientation, what political views – we are all equal. Death makes no distinction, none of these things matter when it comes to death, we all die the same way. Our heart stops beating and then Goodbye. And what when we are gone? What is being left behind? A legacy of love, acceptance, and truth, or a legacy of hate and rivalry? One of my mentors said it to me very clearly “A relationship can die physically, but it’s worked out well while we are alive, then it will last forever in the spirit. The spirit never dies. If your spirit dies, you may as well die now”. Think about it for a second if you must.

“Now, I told you earlier that I would explain why I asked you these questions, right?”. Mike (per usual) was the first to answer “You sure did!”. It was time to tell them, and if they can know, then you, the reader, can know too.

“A friend of mine” – Someone who is close enough to my heart and far enough from my mind – “is very ill. If she doesn’t respond in the next three months to a treatment, she may then be dying” There was a silence, of course. And for a second, I felt like letting my eyes get watery, but I didn’t. I got my composure back on and I continued “I feel extremely hopeless because all I want to do is help her and at this point, I’m doing nothing.” Sometimes she is so closed up and it’s understandable. She is scared. She doesn’t want to give up dancing, even though her body may be asking her to do so.

There were some “Aww’s” as I spoke, as well as some stares of compassion and admiration. But I had to continue, I was very close to my goal, one that I had set at the very moment I began to ask the questions. “Beyond all of that, the reason why I asked you these questions was because I would like you to see that everyone has a story. People that we see everyday has a story and we just don’t know it. Had I not asked you these questions, you probably will not know much about each other, but now you do and it was quite quick, right?” They smiled. “If we could just get more people to tell us their story or at least feel comfortable enough to tell it, imagine what a better world we would live in”. No one said anything, so I continued “I think… that… we begin to live when we face death”. Natalie said “I agree, Daniel”. I continued, ignoring her comment for one second, and said “We fail to realize that no relationship lasts forever in a physical way. So if we just realized and internalized this belief we would all appreciate everyone else a lot more”. Mike added “It’s not that easy, man”. I told him, “I know, brother. I know”. I went back to Natalie saying “Nat, you mentioned something about death. Have you faced death or encountered it in a way of a relative close to you?” She responded “Plenty of times, but it’s not something I want to talk about right now” and she smiled. I respected that and so did everyone else. No one tried to persuade her into speaking and I knew we were understanding each other a lot more by now. And even though no words of “I understand you more” were spoken, a lot more things were being said with silence.

Melody went on to say that she too had faced too many deaths in her family. Linda added her fear that her sister may go extremely bad if her boyfriend left her. Mike added that he needed to find his purpose in life, and I told the story of my mother crying uncontrollably the night I left her to come to this country and the shame I had for not crying and for not hugging her as hard. I confessed to them that today, I just wished to have her here one day so I can give her that big guy I didn’t give her the night I left. We continued to share a bit more of stories and some laughs. There were some teases and some remarks.

“I’m sorry, girls, did I bore you?” Almost simultaneously, they responded firmly “No” and I was relieved that they did. “I don’t need to ask you, Mike. You have to listen to me anyway” I said laughing. “Yeah, jerk, whatever” he laughed too.

Death is a scary topic. It makes us uncomfortable and often we avoid it, but we forget that sooner or later it will get to us, no matter how long or how successful we are at cheating it. Of course, I want to cheat death for as long as I can, but if I accept and you accept that we can be gone at any moment, then we would appreciate our lives and the lives of others a lot more. Not only would we appreciate others more, but also we would have this incredible ability of getting so close to them and in their shoes, so that we too can understand them. As Stephen Covey said “Seek first to understand, and then to be understood”. Understand that some people will be in a situation that will not help them try to understand others because all they can be wondering about is why something is happening to them – accept these people and help them see things more like they are really, and there will be two winners, rather than two losers – that person and you.

Now, ask yourself: “What’s close to my heart? And what am I doing for it?”

Note: Names have been changed for privacy

By Daniel Becerra

To honor Ian’s excellent article on Simple Ways To Become More Attractive, I will follow up with Part 2 of it. These ways of becoming more attractive are as simple as the former, but they are just different. The thing is that both are simple to establish, but also simple to neglect. This list should enable you with tools to connect both sides and achieve results if you haven’t gotten them yet. You may have noticed that you were encouraged to exercise, educate yourself, sleep appropriately, work on your manners, and so on – and while what you get by following this lifestyle is great, what you become is actually greater. In other words, what you become is greater than what you get, and I don’t mean just looks-wise, I mean ‘spiritually-wise’.

Count Your Blessings, Not Your Misfortunes - An  attitude of grattitude is the first step for altitude, and dating too. It is easy to fall into the trap of focusing exactly on what we don’t have, this leads to endless sense of un-achievement. Of course, if you’re focusing on what you don’t have, you will never have enough. But amazing it is, that when you’re grateful for what you have, you often get more of it in nicer, bigger proportions. Not to count the positive attitude that will be radiating from you at all times. Let me give you an example, rather than complaining about your 5 extra-inches belly, be thankful for the fact that you have food to eat, while others don’t, and that you have the ability to use your legs, arms, and brain to exercise, while others don’t. When you take five to ten minutes of your day, everyday to become grateful for what you have, you often (not always by the way) will go out with a positive attitude, and as a consequence, achieve more.

Help others achieve what they want - It was the master motivator and sales guru Zig Ziglair who said “You can get enough of what you want if you just focused enough on helping other people get what they want”. Great women appreciate a man with a good heart as much as they appreciate a man with intelligence. I first saw evidence of the latter when I started dazzling people I knew for a long time when they heard me speak intelligently, and furthermore, write intelligently. Months later came up the former. I started getting involved mentoring kids, doing small workshops to donate to charity and so on, and sure enough many more girls admired this. The principle of helping others achieve what they want is not just related to charity or helping others but to your very interactions with others in social scenarios. Women go out to have fun and even though, they know some disrespectful guys will come by, they hope that it’s minimal, so if you can just be the guy who can help her achieve that piece of mind by making her smile and be genuinely interested in who she is, then you too will be helping her achieving what she wants, and as a result she will find herself more attracted and comfortable to you.

You’re not perfect - Absolute vulnerability is the most desirable strength, yes? What does this mean? It means having courage and a strong enough backbone to stay a man not only when things are all good and fun, but also when things are ugly and complicated, especially if it’s wholly or partly due to you. It means to admit your mistakes. Admit your jealousy. Admit you’re not the best at one thing. Admit this is not ‘your night’. Admit that you can be grumpy at times. Some people may expect you to be perfect, but those people are doomed to be disappointed for life. In this world, we need to get used to imperfection. It’s the only thing there is! Intelligent and higher level people understand that we are humans and vulnerable to mistakes, so if you admit them, you will become more human in their eyes, and as a side effect, more attractive and desirable.

Laugh at yourself – This goes hand in hand with admiting your mistakes and using humor for greater success. Smile at yourself and your silliness. If you make a silly mistake, don’t try to cover it up and become perfect. Laughing at yourself only adds more confidence to your level of attractiveness, this means, of course, becoming even more attractive. This doesn’t mean “sabotage yourself” or “Talk-down on yourself”. It simply means having enough confidence to smile at your silliness. Consider throwing lines such as “I can’t get it up” or “I’m only this good looking on Tuesdays”. When you begin to smile and laugh at yourself, then not only will the others admire you and find you more attractive but also they will model you. Soon enough you will…

Have them laugh at themselves - If you can laugh at yourself, then they can laugh at themselves. This makes the experience more unique because then they can act like ‘total dorks’ and still feel loved, wanted, and appreciated. Ask any girl if this doesn’t feel damn good. Not just girls, but us guys too. We appreciate those who we can be ‘total dorks’ with, and still be considered amazing. Not only that, but it will make anyone feel more human. Remember that at the end of the night, the week, the month or the year, they may forget what you said to make them laugh, but they will never forget how you made them feel. So throw some lines such as “I swear you’re not being a total loser tonight…”, or have them act silly with you, then accuse THEM of being silly. The point is not to ridiculize them, please DO NOT DO THAT, but rather to encourage them to smile at themselves. Per say, you’re in a relationship, and she goes momentarily crazy on you, do not shout back at her. You’re NOT COMPETING with her (Really, you’re not competing with your girl, that’s lack of manship). Wait for her to relax and show her that you recognize that something is bugging her and you will not leave her side, then have her smile at herself using a sweet line like “I almost had to hide under the bed when you started yelling”. And WATCH how much more she will admire you. You will of course only have enough wisdom and experience to get people to laugh at themselves if you learn to laugh at yourself – so get working on that.

Keep your friends – No one likes to date a loner. Your friends are not there only to back you up, but rather to help you bond stronger with whoever you are. If you’re dating someone, they are of great help (sometimes may be not, in that case, change your friends). If you are just flirting around, your boys or girls are there to back you up. Keep your friends. I know nothing sweeter than a group of girls giving each other emotional support, and in all honesty, I find a woman who helps her friends (with real issues) extremely attractive. I have no doubt women find men who help their friends (with real issues as well) attractive too. Do not give up the time you spend with your friends for anyone. Find a balance between them and whatever else you may be doing.

Keep your passions - Same for your passion. Nothing attracts other higher-level individuals that those who have a passion for something. I believe this is where Mystery’s success lies. I’m not his biggest fan sincerely, much less his method. I do believe that the guy is much greater than the sum of the parts of his method, because he is got a passion, a calling. That is what makes him and many other great people I know so good. They all have this incredible ability of making women feel so special, of making them feel like they are the only woman (or women) in the room. These are what you call ‘seducers’. Of course, not all of us are Casanovas. I myself am not a Casanova. I do not want to be one. Why? Because my passion is not women, it’s people. It’s making them think of ways to grow. And this passion has allowed to grow more attractive in their eyes. You do not have to be a Casanova to bring attractive people into your life, but you do need a passion. That should remind you again to not follow the trend or try to achieve someone else’s results, but rather create your own trend and follow it, your results will be unique on their own.

I doubt this list is finished, but for now I’ll cut it out. I hope you liked it and got something out of it.