The Meaning of Life - How should one live?
I will not tell you a "How-To" Guide for Ultimate Success, simply because I don't believe there is one. I will tell you though - some of the things that you must always keep in mind as you go through life.
Why do some people who
want to improve... fail at it?
1. Lazyness
2. Bad habits
3. Bad attitude
4. Bad influence from friends and family
5. Lack of education
6. Lack of tutors/mentors/guides
7. Lack of focus
8. Lack of determination
9. Lack of courage
10. Lack of discipline
11. Lack of experience
12. Not having an environment that allows the genius within to grow
13. Not having clarity in life
14. Not being honest with themselves
15. Contradictory. I.E. You want to get fit but you work out once per week.
Most of the points above overlap each other, yet it's important to distinguish them. Lazyness is a bad habit. Bad habits will always get on your way to accomplish your goals (unless your goal is to be a couch potato), bad habits usually come from a bad attitude and your bad attitude is often and mostly picked up from your family and friends. Obviously if you don't educate yourself from outside sources, then your current influence will continue to dominate you. If you fail at improving at your own, then get a mentor who will help you focus, get determined and discipline you when necessary. It's obviously important to get experience after/while educate yourself. More important yet that every moment you keep true to yourself, pretending or fooling yourself into something won't allow you to change much.
There is really a lot to do, so how you get started? How do you begin to grow? I believe there are two ways to
begin growing:
1) By having a life-changing experience (Awesome event, traffic event, death of someone, knowing you have a terminately ill, etc)
2) By association and learning with those who have (or getting) what you want
I like option two better than one. Most people go through option 1 though, then they jump to option 2 automatically. My goal is to get you to go through option 2 without having to go through option 1. Option 1 is painful, you can avoid by learning from those who were there before you. And it's really not that challenging to understand, it is challenging to do though - this is why I emphasize disciple and will power so much. The rest comes down to finding a place and people who will help you grow, those who share the same path as you. For example:
* If you want to grow in knowledge: Visit a library or bookstore. You'll meet people there. By law, you have something in common with them: Hunger for knowledge.
* If you want to become healthier: Visit a gym or hang out with someone who is familiar with the workout. If you find exercising boring, at least go swimming - it's one of the funnest way of getting a great exercise. You'll meet swimmers there and soon you'll be healthier.
* If you want to become richer: Then visit seminars or post in forums/websites with people who have similar goals to you. Hanging out with people who are happy with 8$/hour pay will not help you a lot. Read from people who are successful in finances and you'll get a better grasp of things.
* If you want to reach higher spirituality: Meditate, do deep thinking, take long walks or go to church. Anything that can keep you in touch with your soul works. Choose one or two, but don't leave spirituality aside. Relying in a bigger power - that could be God, your mom's spirit or your mind - is a great way of getting resilience
* If you want to learn about other cultures: Then visit multicultural centers, ask a friend of you to visit a ceremony from another culture. A big reason why racism and steorotypes still exist is because most people have NEVER experienced anything about other cultures. I've hung out with rich people before, as I date a very rich girl before and they are not as mean or cocky as portrayed by most people. I have visited Philiphino/Koreans/Indians rituals and while different, they are as passionate about their rituals as I'm about what I do - Yes, there is something that connects us.
One of the reasons why I'm so grateful to the original forum we belonged to, is that it gave me a chance to meet so many great minds like Ian Smith, Kris Hansen, Jamie Craven, Jacob Fisher, Joe G, Luke Pavik and so on. All these guys' words made me a better person as I became fascinated by their attitudes and views on life. You see, I surrounded myself with great people, even if it was just online, they influenced me in my life. This is the reason why I'm so passionate about YOU guys participating and not just reading. I want you to become TIGHT with each other, to learn from each other, to be a family. Only then you can be part of an active movement and not just the one wishing to be active but standing behind closed doors.
Develop a system or Daily Rituals
"Developing a system that works constantly for you" sounds a little boring and like too much work, I like to call it "daily rituals" instead. In reality, it's the same thing but daily rituals just have a nicer ring to it. Everything you do to go through your day is a ritual. When I say ritual, I don't mean you sitting down with candles and chanting all sort of things, but rather a doing that makes you feel good. For instance, my cousin will never go through the day without exercising - to him, it's a must to or he will feel uneasy and unfulfilled. He will just do about anything to work out, when his dad came to visit him from Peru - it was the first time he had seen in a bit over a year, he said "Dad, come to the gym with me. You can swim while I work out 'cause I ain't missing my work out". I was amazed at his discipline. I - for instance - love writing, I love the feeling of putting my thoughts and emotions down on paper, I can't go a day without writing. It would just not be me. I also have to read the news daily, it keeps me updated and it gives me at least something to talk about. I also read and work out five days per week. I have become used to it and it works great for me so far, without doing any of these things I would become less productive. I'm still shaping my system or daily rituals, I'm yet to be more productive.
To end this, I will quote Robert Kiyosaki here "Most of us can make a better burger than McDonalds, but no one can have a better system than McDonalds". When I look at my writings or at Ian's writings, I'm amazed at myself and how much I have changed but I also look at other famous self-improvement gurus and I realize our way of explaining of things are equal or better, they have just learned other skills that have put them over the top. Since this realization, I have begun developing a system that will allow me to succeed. I will fail (as I'm failing right now) many times, but I will finally get there. It is my goal, it is my life. I will do it. And I promise you, one day you'll see me on the top.
Teaching is Learning
Let me introduce you to the Cone of Learning!
Notice that we learn 70% of what we say by giving a talk - Giving a talk is very similar to teaching. Keep this in mind.
Think you don't know much about a subject? Try teaching it as you learn it. For example, when I first started my journey of Self-Improvement, I did a lot of reading and then put it into practice. What I knew was actually little compared to what I understood. In other words I understood a lot of concepts, but I did not know them, I did not apply them. However, I begin teaching the little tiny bits that I knew to others and without realizing it, each time I taught something, I learned something new - as I spoke, a new idea or realization hit me on the head, something new came up. One of the biggest ones was when my cousin began talking about "DHVing" (that is making up stories or routines to show coolness), at the time I refused to do that made-up-stories thing, so as he spoke I thought and suddenly I began saying "It's not what you're saying, it's what you're made of" and that let to another idea "every single little that you do has a meaning" and suddenly I found myself saying "your body language speaks for you, but it goes beyond that - while most PUAs think that all a girl can tell is whether you're confident or not, I believe they can see whether you're social by your expressions on the face and smile. I believe they can sense leadership on your voice tone. I believe they can see sex appeal because of the look in your eyes" And so this post was born:
"The Myth of DHVing", one that I urge you to read as it will get you rid of any bullcrap belief of validation.
No matter how little you know, begin teaching it and reap the rewards. Don't bullshit yourself though, be honest about what has worked for you so far and what hasn't. As Albert Einstein once said: "The search for truth and knowledge is one of the finest attributes of a man, though if it's often most loudly voiced by those who strive for it the least", don't be the guy who voices knowledge but doesn't do what he preaches. By doing that, you would be shooting yourself as in the foot TWICE. Not only are you a fake leader but also you're not being honest to yourself - this is also known as never growing.
Note: By the way, isn't it interesting how this Cone of Learning has prevailed for 40 years and the School System still uses reading as their number way of learning!?
Do what you love
If you're already not doing what you love, then start doing it now, even if it's one hour per week. You've heard this before and why it's important - so rather then saying why, I'll tell you the how. Say that you're busy with school, work, girlfriend, kids, etc - and for that you find little to zero time to dedicate yourself to do what you really love - then begin small. If you want to get into self-improvement and be active about it - and not just begin reading without sharing - then get in a forum at least 30 minutes each day or on the weekends and begin giving advise or asking questions. In that way, you're already active about what you're doing. Don't drop everything at once and move on to the thing you want to do. It may be a little dangerous. Explore the are first, test the waters and dive yourself in when you believe you're ready. Use technology for your advantage, it makes it possible for you today to learn from other minds who think alike without going too far. Consider yourself lucky the internet gives you these tools to make your progress faster - it also can make it delay, it's up to you to use wisely.
Whatever it is that you love just begin doing it. Again, you don't have to jump right into in with both feet but at least begin with a toe. Bit by bit you will gain the confidence to jump right in. And soon enough you will find yourself more motivated to keep going. I tell you this from personal experience, I didn't really writing essays back in High School but I absolutely love writing these long documents for your learning. If you were to compare my writing today and how it was back in High School, you would be amazed at the differnece - it's not a matter of grammar or consciousness, it's a matter of passion. I believe I write much better know because I'm loving what I'm doing. There is more passion, excitement, friendship, happiness expressed in my words now than there was a couple of months back. But it wasn't born one day, I worked on it, bit by bit. Now I'm in a place, where I can confidently sit down and write a piece of advise for you that I hope most likely you will find inspiring.
Love does not make it easy
Never be afraid to love someone, hence there is no more beautiful thing than love. Many people are afraid of loving, I know I was there and I sure believed to have a reason not to love - It was too damn painful. Love does not make things easy, it's painful at times, but it's damn worth it. There will be pain, but there will also be joy. Love was not meant to be easy. When I fell in love with my ex-girlfriend at the time, we found out she had a brain tumor, I stuck by her side night after night and tried to cheer her up at every moment. I worked on myself a lot because I no longer knew for how long I could have her, one more day with her meant one more day of happiness. And whenever I found myself wanting to give up I thought of her and the one more day of happiness we could spend together. It was painful once we broke up, but I learned what love meant. I learned that one must never give up if you really want to get what they want, even if the process is extremely painful.
Don't be surprised when love hits you, it can be in a beutiful way or it can be in a horrible way. You can realize how much you love someone once you don't have them or you can realize once they are right by your side. Love others and love yourself, as for life will never give you another more beautiful feeling. If you hear someone say "love is easy" then that person has never been in love.
Love also applies to loving what you do. The more you love something, the more it will affect you when it goes through a bad time. For example, I get hurt when I put a lot of time into website's matters and I still don't seem to get the results I want. But since I love what I do, I find motivation to start over and try again.
The Rules of Life - Meaning of Life Part 2
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