Be Yourself

[Ian Smith]

Recently, I have begun to notice an unintended side effect of most peoples' progression to become a PUA. This side effect comes about by people taking methods and/or canned lines to be a doctrine of how to be sucsessful with women and/or social situations. What is the side effect? Loosing yourself to a certain canned, structured facade of a "cool" personality that everyone likes. I always hear advice like "be alpha" or something else of the sort. I hate to break this to some people who work so hard at becoming "alpha", but, the fact of the matter is, not everyone can have an Alpha personality. This is fine however, because another fact of life is that you don't need to be Alpha to have sucsess or power in your life. Some of the most sucsessful, powerful, wealthy, and wise people are those who stay below the radar and don't have to display that they are the king of the moutain. If you aren't an Alpha personality, don't worry so much about it and waste your time "acting Alpha" because really, that is all you are doing. Merely mimmicing something you are not and sometimes this changes people for the worst, they change and become argumentative and always out to prove themselves to people. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for self-improvement and changing your life for the better, but some things don't need to be changed. It is much better to shine with your unique characterisitics than it is to cloak behind this super-imposed persona. In the end, it is your genuine personality that will make you who you are, not how many women you've slept with, or any other accomplishment. A measure of a man is in his honesty, integrity, and character. Always remember that.

So, how do we avoid this side effect? Simple. Stop being superficial. Superficiality is an embracement of the trivial or surface and an avoidance of the deep thinking about life in general. Though while giving up being superficial you make have to face some troubling, hard, and intimidating aspects of life, in the end, your decission and behavior will be true to reality, and more importantly, yourself. Take this new deep thinking and look at WHY methods or canned lines work and infuse these deep-rooted micro-societial truths into your daily life. As complicated as it may sound, its really not. If one is to grow as a man, there must be an end to this superficial aspect of one's life.

Make yourself. But always, always, always be yourself.

Peace. Love. Life.
Methuselah.

[Bob]

nicely put bro. Everybody is trying so hard to be who they're not to get others to like them instead of improving upon who they are. the latter is much easier and more enlightening.

To exemplify what this can do I think I just lost a best friend this weekend because he tries so hard to act alpha and be the center of attention that people just don't want to argue anymore as it's pointless. It got to the point where he tried to start a fight with me until I stepped up to him and he decided to step back.

It's a vicious cycle guys and if you're trying that hard to prove something then you're failing. You'll keep spiraling down until you can't dig yourself out of a hole and by that time you won't have any friends to help pull you back out

[Grin]

i totally agree too man, i mean like wen i was new in the community i was trying to robotically copy Style after i read Papa's FR abt how he picked up paris hilton. and yea man i came to the realization quite some time ago about how we are genetically made to attract women becoz so were our ancestors and the ones who werent able to wudnt have been ancestors now, wud they? and yea man i just workd on my inner game in this community, i picked up on some openers, made some of my own and i am pretty freakin ready to make things happen.

The bottom line is that I AM NOT ALPHA and thats it, the more i tried the more i made a fucking fool outa myself and so i just prefer to be myself with a lil more self-esteem than wat i had wen i was an AFC and things just go fine..i mean i've not made any closes yet but if u see me i'm pretty freakin smooth with my interactions

[Nicholas Fahrenheit]

Grin, from what I've read from you, you don't believe that at all. You wanted to know how to be a bad boy with the smoking thing. All your inspiring quotes are from 'gurus' and you talk about canned shit more than anyone. You just agree with everything as if it's a different you talking in each reply. Stop it.

As for me I have gone so far off lines and patterns that all I really use now is the deep seaded dynamics. It's not even 'pick up' anymore but being a social and engaging person and thats when I feel comfortable. Not delivering rubbishy questions about guys girlfriends etc.. But just sitting down and starting a conversation. I don't care about lines and new material that guys have created I just want to know the theory about it all and everything else is just me.

[Patrick Laffey]

i can kind of agree with you mr fahrenheit but the thing is some people are just so socially awkward that their true self is just ugly. if they can get some lines to help crutch them so they can focus on other areas of their personality then great. but after that they should lose it because its not them. also, some people dont know who they are. if they try some things out and go out and experiment, they are literally putty and they can mold themselves to however far they can bend. this will push socially awkward people out of their shell and become the social person you say you are. if you are already there, then great, dont knock it. but a lot of guys just arent (too much world of warcraft and not enough friends haha). in those cases they have to try some stuff just to show themselves who they are and who they can be.

great post meth

[VanHaven]

One thing that's always bothered me about a good chunk of the community is that so many people buy into building "avatars". I look around here and see a lack of that, which is one of the things that attracted me to this forum. These OTHER guys are still under the impression that they have to build somekind of fake personality to get women. They go out and buy clothes that don't fit their true self, start painting their nails, ect. When I see these people this, I see people that are starved for attention but don't know any better way to get it. Like Meth said, it's all very superficial. My first night after discovering PUA I discovered the effects of walking into a room, shoulders back, eyes beaming and smiling. Walking into a room as a generally happy and fun person (your true self) will draw more attention than a pair of goggles ever will. It's the ultimate in peakcocking.

[Hector M.]

I laugh whenever someone claims to "Teach you how to be alpha".

That cant be taught. Alpha is a STATE OF BEING. To truly be "Alpha", it depends on what your definition of Alpha is.

What is "alpha" for one person, is "beta" for another, and vice versa.

Again, being yourself is as if you're being alpha. You're being YOU, to your best ability. Only you yourself know what being alpha entails.

Be what you think alpha is. If you REALLY know what you think is being alpha, it would resonate with you, and be in sync with your personality, making it natural.

Numen: You're right. Being too absorbed into being "Alpha" leads to that downward spiral. For that person who messed with you, he felt that he needed to prove he was a bigshot, and thus, went to the shitter. Being yourself is key.

Grin: You've regurgitated Mystery there, with the ancestry bit. lol. Careful on that.

...and also, it's not about NOT trying to be alpha, it's re-working yourself to be the best self you can be. That, in itself, appears as alpha, although it might not be.

Mr.F: That a boy! Someone's getting it! =).

Lucid: Well spoken. On those guys with low-self esteem, however, most of them want the quick fix, and in turn, resort to canned material to try and "Compensate" for their own "pathetic" personalities. In the real world, and on the streets as well, those types of guys are either blown away, or taken advantage of by smarter people.

The only cure for those kinds of situations is, sadly, persistent AA overcoming. That takes serious dedication and balls, and that's what most men lack. Although some want to help on that, in the end, only the tough and strong survive.

VanHaven: That's a big problem, and it comes back to guys overcompensating. They try to be mystery, only to have themselves blown out by the smarter women. And, I hate to say this, but they DESERVE it if they resort to becoming something their not. It's about self-improvement, not being a social chameleon.

[Ian Smith]

Kudos BB.

[tonatiuh8]

Bump

[Sloaner92]

Simply amazing.