AFC morning person.

[Rye]

So I friended this HB8.5 on facebook, she is more of an aquaintance than a friend, I've gone to one party with her in a group and we hit it off but it fizzled out that night when she danced with this guy the entire time (it was a house dance party).. And I have a sick wrestling picture as the profile pic which def DHVed me btw.. friended her weeks after this house party..

I am not a morning person. After recently friending this HB, I was standing in line at the deli near my dormitory and she walks in. I notice her and look away, standing in line.. Now naturally, I am a very confident, but serious/show no emotion kind of guy which is bad. I tend to warm up as the day moves along, and become increasingly playful and happier. However, right when this HB walks in, she noticed I saw her and then looked away, approached me, gave me a little pinch/nudge, smiled and said "How are you?" This was early in the morning, I just got back from class, and I was a combo of tired, hungry, and irritable from being on this site all for hours on end the previous night. I just replied as an AFC comment.. "Good, how are you?" she said "good" and then walked away.

My problem and question- Do you guys force yourselves to be that playful person all the time? This always happens to me, HBs catch me in my serious, I don't feel like talking modes. I do not like it, and I want to change, but it just creeps up on me. I, however, now know I am on speaking terms with this HB, so now everytime I see her I will smile with some EC, and even start up a convo when the time is right. But do any of you guys have any advice on not coming across in this way ever? She was all smiley and looked how she always looked to me, playful and fun. I came off as that playful guy when I met her, but this impression certainly was not a good one. Or am I overanalyzing this kind of problem? Because overanalysis is a weakness of mine as well.. Tips much appreciated. -Rye

[Trivial]

Shit I have the same problem when I get tired nothing clicks. And I usually am irritable and neg twice as much. Only thing I have used that works which is simple, is coffee or energy drinks. Anyone know of anything else?

[Nick Krygier]

Honest to God I was just going to do a post about this. I was walking from class with an HB9 about 15 minutes ago when I just decided I didn't have the energy to be really playful. The important thing to remember, however, is that just because you aren't in an energetic or playful mood doesn't mean that you have to be boring. Stay away from dead end questions!!!

Hi, how are you?- sure you might THINK its open ended. but it never is
-nothing
Hey, whats up?
-usually all you get is a nothing, with a whats up/how are you respsonse

I never really answer those questions. In fact sometimes I will completely ignore them and say something situational

HB: How are you?
Jack: [pause- acting oblivious to her question] You know... the sun looks really cool right now- idk make something up its easy. I probably wouldn't say that necessarily though



What I do when I am tired and don't really feel like being energetic and talkative:

I take the time to practice talking slowly and deeply. It really slows me down and I don't mind so much talking like this even if I was previously not so much in the mood to do so.

[NickH]

im terrible in the morning, i barely show emotion...but i warm up during the course of the day

[Rye]

OK i have a solution for myself and you guys depending on your situations. in my situation, i am going to message her on FB.. but you can do it in person as well. the objective- whatever impression you gave, make it seem like SHE did it instead of you.

EX: geez HB, why did you look so tired today when i tried to talk to you?

In this example, I am putting it on her instead of on me. I was the one who was tired and did not talk, but I am pretending that she was me in this instance. It is playful, fun, and most importantly neutralizes any bad impression you gave off that day..

What do you guys think of that? -Rye

[Trivial]

try it out.... and repost how it worked. It can't hurt to try.

[Rye]

Originally Posted by Trivial

try it out.... and repost how it worked. It can't hurt to try.

update: worked like a charm!

messeged her through facebook.. here are the results

Me: geez HB! why did you look so tired and act bitchy when i tried to talk to you today in line? wake up, ya knucklehead

HB: heyyy, i didn't act meanly...haha. i was just very upset at how long the line was and half asleep...ridiculous. next time i'm in MAT i'll come say hi.


this was a success. i put it on her, and she played along. she neutralized my bad impression this morning. and reassured me that i did not act meanly, and understood my position! MONEY! she even said she is going to visit me at my dorm, or she wants ME to visit her at her dorm** idk. i will try this out a few more times before i would consider it proven.. the only thing to worry about is if the HB is a stupid blond, which is highly possible, she won't realize you are actually talking about you, not her.

i am going to write a theory of this interaction after i gather more info on the situation, and purposely act coldly in the mornings.. this is a solution in the making. -Rye

[Nick Krygier]

I don't necessarily like it too much...

Your allowed to be tired sometimes man. Are you going to come up with excuses and turn it around everytime your in the morning mood? I can't see this working multiple times yet I see you experiencing this again

[Rye]

its just a temporary solution to a common problem, which i don't know about you, but for me proves that it can work.. i don't know the consistancy of the solution however

[Trivial]

I thought it might work and it did. good job.

[Nick Krygier]

Your right it did work. You have proof and its great that it turned out that way for you. To me it just seems more like a treatment then a cure. I can't put my finger on it exactly why though. So sorry to disagree without offering too much advice otherwise hah

[Trivial]

I know what you mean Jack it comes off as to needy. With the geez and why were you so bitchy it makes it seem as you care to much.

How he said it could use improvements but the principle of making it seem like it was her fault for the conversation not working is what I like.

[Pav]

I am shit in the morning. I can't even speak in the period between waking and going to school. I just mumble and complain. so what I do, when I know I can't talk, is give them a hug. The kind where you put your arms around them and basically fall asleep standing there. A gentle 'hi' is all you need, and a sleepy look, and they know not to push conversation with you until you wake up more.