Why Do Many Guys Fear Commitment?

[Tom Church]

I'd really appreciate getting your opinion on this one. Why is it that many guys (not all) fear commitment, fear embracing relationships, or at least giving more than normal to a girl? Why do they hold back, what is it that keeps them from giving fully?

I've finally discovered my own reasons, my own fear and how to combat it, which you will yourself will discover through a book I'm writing during my traveling adventure, but I cannot (or more I don't want to) apply my own fear, to all males until I learn that others also share the same reasons...

[NickH]

Well this is coming from a guy who hasnt had a relationship that lasted more than like 2 weeks. It is kind of a mixture of a lot of stuff. I will make a list so it is easier for myself to keep track.

1) I am too young to be committed
2) I dont want to be nagged
3) When you are single you dont have to explain yourself when you go out
4) Relationships take too much time and hard work
5) The fear of being broken if I get too attached
6) Same thing but in her shoes, dont want to break her heart kind of thing
7) I may miss so many opportunities and I dont want to be a cheater

Thats all I have got so far, pretty normal and I am sure a lot of other people would say the same thing. I broke off something last time because she got really obsessive after we did the you know what. So many text messages, early hour phone calls, random shit, got on my nerve.

[Ray Casanova]

Insecurities.

1) The fear that I will hurt women the way my father hurt my mother. I don't want a girl having psychological issues because of me, ironically I'm probably making it worse by sleeping around with them without being in a "relationship"
2) I want to meet and be with more girls.
3) I don't like really developing co-dependency, it makes me feel weak. I don't like feeling exposed. It's really sad when you think about it.
4) I don't truly trust myself, while my willpower is infinite I guess I don't think I could do a good job in that sense and completely screw things up by not showing emotion or by cheating on them.

I'm tired of taking value from all these girls. I've hurt too many. I feel like a fucking vampire or something.

[CrazyLegz]

First comes me... If I'm struggling to remain financially stable while being single, there's no way in hell I can be in a relationship which requires money.... and if it doesn't require money, it requires time which could be better spent making money to reverse the instability etc.

I'm figuring probably around late spring/early summer when I get my tax return checks + stimulus package and the semester is over I'd be down for a relationship, but until then the only relationship I've got is between my nose and the grindstone

[nesr]

In my opinion, commitment equal to responsibility and most guy can't handle this kind of responsibility. Simple,

[Elyts]

5) The fear of being broken if I get too attached
6) Same thing but in her shoes, dont want to break her heart kind of thing
7) I may miss so many opportunities and I dont want to be a cheater

I know first hand that when i was in a relationship i felt number 7 a LOT like i could be doing better always...and its not so much tht i worry about getting attached, its that i worry about being attached and have to break it to HER when i want to leave...its best not to get attached to fluctuating things i find...and also i know first hand that its a TON of work maintainging a relatiopnship when you ahve so much other shit on the go, its time consuming but if it works its fucking brilliant feeling...its just the effort to get there that scares most guys so i guess really guys are scared of comittment because we are lazy broskis....we dont want that sort of responsibility in our lives

YET

but our times will come soon enough, and at that point, well want it BADLY, i just know it

[Sloaner92]

I fear to commit to anything just because of that - I don't want to commit. I'm scared that if I commit to it, it'll all get messed up, and then I'm stuck with feelings of shame and defeat. It's happened several times before, so I'm always scared to try to dedicate myself to do something.