Most Male Insecurities Are Bollocks (Video)

[Tom Church]

[dmacfour]

Cool video man.

[Nick Krygier]

I love the video Tom. However, a few things to think about since I know we all love feedback.

1) As you already know, the audio is pretty sub-par. Maybe look into that because poor audio can make or break a video- almost as much as good lighting in a film.
2) I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but pay close attention to the language you are using. The language that leaves no room for feeling anything else. In my opinion, this piece was a piece about breaking free of the insecurities that the media, friends, and family place on ourselves- including the ones we create ourselves. And don't get me wrong, you do get your point across.

At the end.

It's very climatic. Your building your case so you can release all your frustration you have about the subject, it's very obvious and you can even hear it in the inflection and the passion in your voice.

Which is awesome.
But...

Some of the language that you used is doing nothing different then what you were lamenting about:

The media makes us feel we should last longer
All this makes us feel nervous
etc...

It doesn't leave room to feel anything else.

I think an absolutely imperative change that must take place in your script is that of introuding the word 'can.'

And although I don't believe that even reactions like this are very helpful compared to other avenues; going about it in certain ways can be more or less so. And the word 'can,' I believe, will give people an opportunity to not necessarily force themselves to identify with what you are saying.

Sure you could say that you want them to identify with you so they can get your point at the end, but wouldn't that be pointless manipulation?
Sure you could say that when you use the word 'can' it allows for people to think that they really might not be as trapped as they really are, but doesn't it just seem more right?

I believe that everyone has the ability to respond to everything in their own unique way, and simply telling people that everything that they do 'makes them feel nervous' has the potential, in my opinion, to give AA to people who never had it in the first place.

Long winded response but I feel as if it's important.
Feel free to take it or leave but
I like the initiative and the quality of graphics in your video Tom, great job

[Tom Church]

Nick thank you so much! I really needed constructive feedback. There were two reasons for me making this video:

1. To practice public speaking
2. To explore alternative ways of online communication

Firstly though, I have to give a big thanks to Chikito who sent me a link to http://prezzi.com - that's the free online software that enables you to make zoom presentations. Then I'm also using http://jingproject.com to record it as I speak and upload to YouTube - also free online. The audio is terrible - you can even hear my laptop fan whirring. The mic is the inbuilt one so I'm now on the prowl for a better one.

After re-listening to the video I hear what you mean - that my logic just reaffirms the problem rather than offering a solution. And that I offer the listener no room to think for themselves. I'll be working on this most definitely in future videos, and I'd really appreciate more feedback. Thanks again Nick and Dmac.

[Nick Krygier]

I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Just depends on what you want to do.