AHahah I found this on facebook. Can you say 'DIRECT FEEDBACK'
Have a good laugh my friends:
1. There is no such thing as "Oops, I slipped" or "Oops, wrong hole." If we say no anal, we mean no. Period.
2. Jack hammer pounding is not hot. It does not feel good. We won't be able to walk right the next day—in a bad way—and we won't want to get into bed with you again.
3. Not all girls swallow. Some do and some of us do... but only sometimes. It's a personal preference and you asking us to all the time won't change our minds if we really don't want to. P.S. If you’ve got some funk in your spunk, don’t let us taste it (this includes but is not limited to fish sauce, some greener veggies, and smokers).
4. In reference to the above, all I have to say is: courtesy tap. If you're going to come, let us know. That is a surprise that we won't respond well to... and you don't want a choking reflex while your penis is still in our mouth.
5. We get that not all guys want to cuddle. We can deal with that. But putting your clothes on thirty seconds after you finish is a little fast. However, sometimes, you’ve got to suck it up and just cuddle with us. Not every night, but never doesn’t work either.
6. If you have multiple fuck buddies, keep them separate unless you talk about it beforehand. We understand that there is no commitment but it's a big blow to our egos when we're right there and willing and you pick some other girl.
7. Except in situations of quickies, foreplay is pretty much a requirement to get a girl turned on, if for nothing but to get us wet enough for your penis not to chafe the next day. Even during quickies, foreplay is hot.
8. We know a girl's orgasm is hard sometimes. But if you're consistently coming and she's not, you're an ass. Change it.
9. Expecting us to know when you're not comfortable when sleeping. If you're cramping up or we're squeezing the air out of you, let us know. Otherwise, we think you're dandy and we're going to keep doing it.
10. Some girls don't mind where you cum. Others do. Find out beforehand. And if it's not in the condom, expect to help us with the clean up job- i.e. if you cum on my chest, don't expect me to drip it on the carpet on the way to the bathroom. Bring me some fucking toilet paper or a towel.
11. Don't expect us to have a different outfit for every time we hook up or even for every special occasion. Lingerie is expensive. If you want it, be willing to chip in or buy it for us. In reality, it's a gift for you.
12. The nipples and boobs are attached to our bodies. They do not turn all the way around or come off when pulled and doing so causes us pain to which we may hit you or leave you.
13. We are not china dolls. If you fuck us hard, we’re not going to break. So unless you know we have old sports injuries, throw us onto the bed, put our legs around your shoulders, and make us laugh at why we’re a little sore the next day.
14. Try more than one position. Or we’ll move on to men who do.
15. Yes, contrary to popular belief, women love doggie style. If they say they don’t, show them how to do it right.
16. No conversation during sex. Tell us you’re coming, moan or grunt a little, but sentences are out.
17. Don’t be afraid of role play. But know that if she gets a costume, you’d better have one too.
18. Vibrators don’t have to be your enemy. Integrate.
19. Know where the clit is and how it works. Few women come through vaginal intercourse alone.
20. If we trim the hedges, so should you. You don’t have to go bare, but if you have a fucking forest of hair, maintain that shit. You really don’t want us to constantly stop in the middle of your blow job to get the hair out of our mouths, do you?
21. Don’t lie about the size of your penis. We’ll see it soon enough.
22. You really don’t have to clean your room. As long as the bed is clear and we can find our clothes in the morning, we’ll fuck you.
23. Don’t expect us to be loud enough to wake up your roommates if you’re not going to make a peep. Your noises turn us on and make us more eager too.
24. Routines are not a turn-on. If we know what’s coming, we’re going to lay there like a dead fish until you surprise us out of it.
25. Let us stay on top and be in control. We like the power and we like riding you. Lay back and enjoy it.
26. To go along with that, don’t freak out when we try reverse cowgirl. You penis is not going to break and it’ll feel fucking great.
27. If we’re not getting you off, show us what to do. Telling works, but showing is better. And hotter. If she gets offended, don’t get into bed with her again. She’s not worth the effort.
28. We don’t mind marks, but you don’t need to constantly leave them in plain view. Leaving them where others can’t see them on a normal day… well, we’ll want you all over again when we catch it in the mirror after a shower.
29. If you know your nuts are sticking together and you’ve got a full day of sweat down sitting in your boxers, let’s do it in the shower. You can come wherever you want and it’s an easy clean up.
30. The bed isn’t the only place to fool around. Especially if we have the room (or better yet house) to ourselves. Respect other’s property, but the floor and the stairs are always fair game.
31. Don’t expect us to be willing to shove anything in your ass if you happen to like it. Not all women are eager to penetrate men. And if you haven’t told her no, don’t flip a shit if she does. Tell her calmly it’s not your thing and let it go.
32. Even if we care about your past sex life, we don’t while you’re inside us. Seriously. Even if you just want to tell us how much better, tighter, whatever we are, pick a better time. We want to picture you inside another girl during sex as much as you want to picture some other guy’s cock in us during sex.
33. We know natural “feels better” but condoms are a great idea. It was invented to be used. Even if we’re on the pill, use it. And for the love of not having babies or becoming disease ridden, don’t keep it in your wallet.
34. Don’t be serious. We’re not. Laugh and have a good time, especially if something goes wrong. We’re not here to be perfect, we’re here to get laid and feel great.
35. Be eager for oral. If you’re not into it, we can tell and it’s not going to be good. And that way we know we can tell you how to do it right if by some chance you’re not—just like if a girl was say, using teeth. You’d want to know it was okay to tell her that’s not a good thing. Enthusiasm is amazing.
36. If we came back to your place after a party, lend us some clothes in the morning. You’ll get them back eventually, especially if you drive us home, but no one wants to leave in last night’s skimpy outfit.
37. The outside world does not exist during sex. There will be no breaks for your phone calls, instant messages, or sports games. Think about these things before you get into bed with us.
38. If you happen to come in less than five minutes, don’t stop. Please her with something other than your limp penis. We don’t like premature ejaculation but you can make it up with a little effort. And a tip for the future- masturbation increases stamina. Try it.
39. We understand that sex takes it out of you, but before you fall asleep, pull yourself out. It’s not hot and it’s not comfortable.
40. Don’t try and push too deep. If you don’t know, experiment slowly. Especially if you’re gifted cause that shit can hurt. Our va-jay-jay is only so long and you will hit a wall.
41. Realize that if you work too hard too fast, we might get over-stimulated and have harder time climaxing. Take your time, build us up, and let us enjoy a big O.
42. Sex in the shower is hot. You don’t have to pick us up and support our weight against the wall; bend us over, make us touch the floor, and let’s go. P.S. A movable shower head is a wonderous thing...
43. Have snacks. Or breakfast. If we’re at it all night, we’re going to get fucking hungry.
44. Not all girls beat guys in the stamina department. So if yours is high and we’ve been at it for a while and are getting tired, pull out or give our hands or mouth a rest and get yourself off. We’ll provide a place for you to come.
45. If you suggest a threesome, what make you think it’s going to be two girls and you? If she’s willing to do it, this might be the only way. If you aren’t up for that, don’t suggest it. And if she says no once, don’t ask again
46. Return all favors. Be happy she’s letting you down there and she went down, or you might not get it next time.
47. When she does give you head, she’s the one who’s going to control it. Don’t thrust, there is a back to our throats and gagging should not be a turn on.
48. If you moan someone else’s name, expect to hurt and be left horny and naked. Or kicked out horny and naked.
49. Phone sex can be very hot. Especially in long distance relationships or on vacations. Be willing to get as explicit as she does and to turn off call waiting.
50. If you’re going to fuck us, fuck us good. We tell our friends at least that much with every guy and if we have the same friends, sooner or later someone’s going to let it slip.
And just some overall advice... "Remember, no always means no. And if she's under 18, yes means no too."
By Alicia Burns, Sandy Lam, and Ramon Andres.
I love it!
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Remember, no always means no
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haha BS we call that LMR here honney..
50 Mistakes Men Make Concerning Sex
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