LR: J The Ripper's "Vomit, Sex and Filthy Finger's""
LR: J The Ripper's "Vomit, Sex and Filthy Finger's""
She threw up all over her shoes, and I wasnt paying attention. Afterall, how could I? I had my target in my arms, fingering her in and out as she kissed my ear, while GVIRUS was doing the best he could to occupy Puke Girl (her best friend). I felt like a composer with my middle finger as the wand, directing her vocally expressed pleasure into a final cresendo.
A Concerto Fingeroso in F#.
All four of us were sitting down together on the couch at the club, and I turn over to 'Virus and give him the "Let's fuckin pull these chicks now" look. He looks at me disgusted, gets up, and says quite audibly, "She just fuckin puked!".
I love the way he eloquently speaks his mind at the most opportune time.
The club was about to close up for the night. Gotta hand it to GVirus; one of my best bud's, but even he has his morals...he wasnt about to wing me on this one.
I look over to her, and sure enough she had a mini puddle of puke at the base of her heels. I wondered if she clicked them together like Dorothy if it would cause the puddle to ripple as the laser lights in the ceiling darted around it, creating a panoramic reflection of wet chunks and shine back at me, as one puke bead connects to another, making a perfect vomit circle. I would conisder this a sign from above that you can find beauty just about anywhere you look. The smell made it's way to my nostrils, and I help my breath and finger shifted to 3rd gear.
Puke Girl, over hearing his comment, and put her head down, feeling even worse than before. Apparently GVirus had made quite an impression on her...he ditched her on the dancefloor, earlier, and was only bothering with her now to wing so I could work on my girl.
This was going to be fuckin tough. The light inside the club came on, and it was time for us to get out of here. By now Gvirus had left the three of us sitting there, and I went between both girls, had them lean on me as we stood up and I escorted them outside the club.
My girl (aka Lay Delay) told me they were parked across the street and I walked them there. Puke Girl was barely conscious, and Lay Delay and myself nestled her comfortably in the backseat. We left her in the car, put on the alarm, and leaned outside it, continuing to makeout as the cars exiting the lot honked at us.
Lay Delay: So where did you park?
J the Ripper: Over at Hollywood and Highlands complex in the parking structure. Walk me there, and I'll give you a ride back here to your friend....
And so we walked a few blocks down to my car, and I held her close as we passed some crazy looking bums. She put her head on my shoulder, and I kissed her forehead. I hadnt seen her in a year, and this was eerily turning out just the way I had envisoned before I saw her tonite.
As we approach my car, she confesses to me...
Lay Delay: I cant have sex tonite, please dont be mad at me.
J the Ripper: Are you kidding? It's late. I just want to make sure you and youre friend get home safe.
Lay Delay: Really youre ok with no sex? Youre the best!
Im full of shit. Here she is thinking Im a nice guy and really she's just falling into my crap.
Im a dick.
She hugs me close, and we start to make out next to my car.
We get inside and I drive her back to her car. I park and we begin to scam some more. Puke Girl is in the parking spot next to us, and she opens up her car door, and sticks her head out. She is about to puke again, but at the same time appears relieved I brought her friend back. Lay Delay rolls down my window and tells her friend that we are just saying goodbye and that she'll go back to her soon.
I begin to fingerbang Lay Delay again, and then lay back in my driver seat, reclinging the seat, and said....
J the Ripper: We shouldn't be doing this, its late, and you have to get your friend home.
I take her hand and place it over my crotch. She sticks her hand down inside, and starts playing with it. I unzip my pants, whip it out, and bring her head close so she can go down on me. She sucks it right away with a stroke combo; she's done this before.
I take my pants all the way off, leaving only my socks on (I feel like a combination of Danny Tanner from Full House and Casper from my favorite movie KIDS for some reason) and catch a glimpse of Puke Girl watching us, face pale and ready to throw up. I take off Lay Delay's top, undo the bra with one hand (practice makes perfect) and continue kissing her.
By now, Im sure of it...she's made up her mind she is having sex with me tonite, right here, in my Celica. I pull down her skirt, recline her seat back and I cross over to her. I take off her shoes, and remove the panties in one quick motion.
She's naked.
I reach into my glove box and pull out a trojan, and wrap it on.
I finger her some more and she puts her head back. I grab her legs, put them over my shoulders, and try to insert it.
It's in.
I start to fuck her.
Then I discover, Im pounding her almost ryhthmically, to and fro, as if I was banging her to a tune only I could her...then I realized why...
I was fucking her in unison to the sounds of the yelps and hacks of her friend puking outside the car next to us....
================================================== =
I did re-did my own challenge again, going out 9 Nights in a row to clubs, from opening to closing time, beginning on May 2nd-May 10th, with SoCal's most hardcore sargers, CC:
May 2nd:
Club Social Hollywood w/
Gvirus
Hawk
Capt Hook
(way more I cant remember)
May 3rd
Element w/
Niceguy
Mad Dog
Hawk
ADZ
Joker
Lucky 1337
Shian
Constantine
GVirus
Status 66
King Kong
Jack
May 4th
Downtown Fullerton and Strip Club w/
InterKurse
Grandma
May 5th
Club Opera w/
Mad Dog
Hawk
Constantine
May 6th
The Standard w/
Lucky 1337
Grandma
Jack
Shian
ADZ
Sexual Chocolate
May 7th
Club Area w/
GVirus
Hawk
ADZ
Sexual Chocolate
Dante Valentine
May 8th
Club Heist w/
Muse
Grandma
Jack
Basic
Mantis
May 9th
Vanguard
Funlife
Niceguy
ADZ
King Kong
Grandma
Yenwen
Toro
Status 66
Pyro
Sway
May 10th
Element
GVirus
Sorry if I left anyone out.
==============================================
I quit my job and had 9 days until I started my new one, so I said fuck it, let's do another sargeathon.
Im too fuckin tired to even type this shit out. I know as I sit here, I wont be able to get up until this is over, typed and edited (somewhat).
============================================
Before I go any further here's some quick highlights/lowlights:
*At Club Heist, towards the end of the evening, I find a girl dancing solo on the dancefloor and I go in.
J the Ripper: And you, I only have one thing to say to you...
(Im trying a variation of this where I dont say the words and just kinda mime it out)
I hook and we dance, makeout insues 5 minutes in, and I try to bounce her out. She number closes me, and calls me on the spot. I answer my phone right next to her:
J the Ripper: OMG, youre not gonna believe this! I just met the this crazy awesome chick, and I think she wants my dick! She is so insane, I just may give it to her!
She starts to laugh and grabs my package playfully.
I tell her I wanna spend the night with her, and tells me to call her in an hour once she drops off her friends. I walk her out the club and we start to makeout into the parking lot. Her friends are already waiting for her near her car. I say hello to them, shoot the shit for a bit, and ask them if it's ok if I speak to her friend in private. I kiss her goodbye and I go back to my car.
I drive off to Pinks to eat something real quick and kill some time until I call her. On my way there she calls me up and says that her friends are being bitches and wont give her any gas money and that she is basically stranded. She asks if she can borrow a couple bucks for gas.
My first instinct was to say "Fuck That!" and consider her a lost cause...but I figured I've been in her spot before, with no gas, and pretty much a sitting duck. I decide I'd go back and spot her $2, and if the F close happened or not later in the night; at that point I didnt care...I was more hungry and sleepy than excited and horny.
So I go back, find her in the parking lot, give her the money, and wish her goodnite. She tells me her friends were teasing her that she should just fuck me, but that she isnt a slut like that. At that point I pretty much knew it wasnt likely to happen, at least not tonite. So I take off, and a few miles into the freeway, I send a quick text telling her I still wanna see her.
No response.
Fuck it.
Havent heard from her again.
************************************************** ***
Similar situation at Vanguard. I see a girl on the dancefloor and I dance with her for a bit.
J the Ripper: Do you like outer space?
Generic Vanguard Girl: Haha, youre asking the wrong girl.
I have no idea where Im going with that opener...
I ask if she's into this kind of music, and she says of course. Asks what I like, and I tell her mostly Finland Punk from the 1976-1982 era...
Generic Vanguard Girl: Uhhh, what? Like what bands?
J the Ripper: Cartoon Rockers, Ratsia, Eppu Normaali, Widows, LoosePrick, Ypo-Viis...and newer shit too like Klamydia and early Apulanta. But actually I dont just listen to obscure Finnish stuff...basically anything from the KBD era is the type of shit im into.
Generic Vanguard Girl: *silence*...(crickets)
Man, once I meet a girl who actually knows and likes my obscure taste in music, I may just have to settle down...
J the Ripper: Nevermind...umm, so are you like a good kisser and stuff or you just look like one?
We begin to kiss, and I take her back to the booths along the perimeter of the dancefloor. As we kiss, I begin to stick my fingers over and under her dress/panties, and fingerbang her accordingly. I dont know what posseses me to do so, but I feel like I can get away with anything at this point.
I number close her and tell her we're going to fuck tonite.
What a fuckin charming guy I've become; I feel like a fuckin scumbag as the words leave my mouth...who the fuck am I?
I stay there with her until closing time, and her two male friends come by and ask her if she's ready to leave. She asks them for a few minutes and I make plans with her to call her later on. I have an inkling this one wont pan out either. There's times to plow through and this wasnt one of them; Ive learned to calibrate this rather well. But what the hay...what do I have to lose...its all feedback and experience right? A social fuckin experimento...
I walk her outside to meet with her dude friends, and I ask them straight up if they mind me giving her a ride back home. They give me the ok (shockingly), but she crashes into my arms and tells me no, that I should call her later.
I call her as I arrive home, half knowing she wont pick up, and sure enough she didnt. The next day she calls me, leaves a voicemail, and says that her battery ran out that night but to call her again.
I havent called her, dont think I will.
************************************************** *
Bunch of other shit happened, I would have documented this alot better but my internet access has been really limited, and I probably wont have it for awhile.
************************************************** ***
When I first got into the game 1 year 3 months ago, I would always sarge with Interkurse at Highlands in Hollywood. About 2 months in, I got my first in club PUA inspried makeout (before PUA I had only ever tongue kissed 14 girls in my life vs. the now well over 150). I remember being so excited about it, that I actually went around the club holding her hand, trying to find 'Kurse and Vict-Whore (who doesnt sarge anymore) just so I could show them my new little trick; Le Instant Makeout ala Mode. Once I found them, I like a fuckin dork, begin making out with her in front of them.
I was like a happy little bratty kid.
I had number closed her, and NEVER called her again.
We'll call her Lay Delay for the sake of this LR.
But I never deleted her off my phone; her number was like a little milestone/trophy for me. I was so fuckin proud of it.
I had no reason to call her. She was only "ok" looking, and after that one time, I started hooking up with so many other chicks I never looked back.
Well, last week, my buddy GVirus was promoting Element, and I told him I would bring him a few girls to help out his guestlist. I decided to send out a mass text, and just for the fuck of it, I included Lay Delay.
I never thought she would reply.
It was over one fucking year later, we only spoke/madeout for a few minutes, and we hadnt communicated since then. She probably wouldnt even remember me.
She texted back, "You...Highlands guy".
Holy fuck, good memory!
I called her up and we chit chatted, and she remembered every detail of that one night just as well as I did. This happened to be her night off, and she agreed to come down to say hello at the club, and would bring her freind along.
When Im at the club, about an hour later I get a text from her letting me know she had arrived. I tell her to meet me by the entrance.
Damn! She looked way better than I had remembered.
I take them to the outside patio, and find GVirus so he can wing me. I take Lay Delay back inside to the dancefloor, and we continue where we left off one year ago. I stick my hand down her crotch and and angle my fingers to insertion.
We dance/makeout as I finger her, switching hands as fatigue sets in.
Im getting pretty good at this.
She tells me she has to go to the bathroom, and I tell her to meet me back in the smoking patio. I purposely stay in the club to field test the "fingerbang" thing since Ive been able to do it on the dancefloor 3 times in the last few weeks...I fingered, er "figured" I was onto to something.
I see a tall Armenian looking girl up against the wall nodding her head to the music (Coolio was performing). I go up to her and say...
J the Ripper: Are you Russian?
Armenian Girl: No, I from Ukraine. Why?
J the Ripper: Cause I can sing the Russian national anthem...tell me if this is right...
She busts up laughing at my randomness, and I come in close and do my best impersonation of WWF superstar Nicolai Volkoff singing the "Theme of the Red". He was in a tag team with Boris Zhukov called The Bolshevics (who lost to the Hart Foundation at WM6), and also teamed with the Iron Shiek in the mid 80's who he won the tag team belts with.
She tells me that actually that is very good, but she had no idea how the anthem actually goes. I give her a hug and say...
J the Ripper: Do me a little favor before I go back to my buddies...can you just STOP being so fuckin cute for 5 seconds? Are you capable of such things?
She laughs again, and makes a mean face, trying to look ugly.
I hug her again, and say "OMG, even cuter that before".
I take her by the hand and lead her to the dancefloor hoping La Delay doesnt catch me. I didnt want her fucking with my experiement.
Same shit. Fingered her in 4 minutes after initial interaction. No resistence, loving and asking for another finger.
Classy.
A few minutes later her friend see's whats going on, pulls her away, and I go back to the smoking patio to find Lay Delay.
Here's how its done (field tested 4 times in 1 month):
After you take her to the dance floor, run heavy attraction material (check out my past FR/LR's for examples), then transition to selling the fuck out of "Tourist Mentality" using my oldie line:
WE'LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN. I posted my whole "We'll probably never see each other.." routine, which I humbly dubbed JTRT (J the Ripper Technique) in different variations in my earielr FR's, so Im sure if you've been following my stuff for any amount of time you are already familiar with the whole "speil".
The idea behind tourist mentality is that you convey the fact tonite may be the last time you see each other, and that whatever happens this night doesnt "actually count". This makes her more willing/accepting that she can exhibit "bad girl" actions and yet not be held accountable for it. Once you're making out, put one hand snug behind her waist, and the other behind the neck where the hair ends, and do "Furry Hat Guy's" evolution phase shift hair pull.
If she's receptive up to this point, test the waters by placing your hand gently between her thighs, and tease your fingers almost coming close to her ******, but not quite. If she lets you do that with no hesitation, take baby steps with your hands until you can reach up and under. Once your hand is inside the elastic trim, begin to kiss her harder, and tug hair slightly firmer but not too hard, and act quick with your middle finger, sticking it in (your index and ring finger used to separate the lips and help guide the way). Once your finger is in, I like to kiss her neck. At this point, drop your hand from her hair to her waist, but keep kissing.
The kissing is pretty much a distractor from your hands.
Fuck.
That has to be the raunchiest shit I ever typed.
Voy a escribir todos los detalles completos en mi e-libro que sale en 3 semanas.
There is a place and time to be fingering a lady, and inside the club probably isnt the best choice. I dont really recommened it, or try to pass it off as "proper game". But it is something I did a few times within a reasonable amount of time, for it to be considered near consistant.
The results were 1/4 as far as how many actually ended up as lays. And Im 4/4 for trying it, and having them allow me to do so, never stopping me once.
I find Lay Delay outside with her friend.
I take her over to the couch, and continue.
One hour later, Im fucking her in my Celica, as her drunk friend adds to the coolant puddle on the parking lot pavement with vomit ala Adios MF.
************************************************** ***********
This may be my last FR/LR, at least for a long ass time. I feel like I'm way off balance, my inner game is wavering...Ive managed to F-Close 8 different girls this year alone (3 in the last 3 weeks), and I thought that results like that was what I was missing all my life...
but I feel Im way fucking wrong...
I still feel like shit.
And Ive become quite the scumbag these days, havent I?
Ive changed so much...as I type this out and read/edit it, I dont even know who the fuck I am anymore.
I need to fix me.
And the kinda fixing I need isnt in a fuckin ebook, DVD, CD, seminar room or a club...
Maybe I’ll finally take that break I’ve been talking about for the last 11 months…
Thanks everyone for reading my shit for a year.
XOXOXOX,
-J THE RIPPER
|
Linear Mode
