The One: Does That Person Exist

[Joe G.]

Here is the debate-

Does "The One" exist? Is there one person out there who is made for you?

We have seen the concept in every romantic movie ever. Every girl hopes, looks, and believes in it. Hell, even we all occasionally look at a girl and think "Maybe she's the one and I don't know it".

Now- what do you think?

Does someone out there exist just for you and would you know it if they spit on your shoe?

OR

Is "The One" a crock of shit and you need to be happy with the one you are with?


Go now- discuss amongst yourselves.

[Daniel Becerra]

I think I met the one today ^_^. God, she is gorgeous.

Anyway, I actually do believe there is a human being out there with who you'll live happy for the rest of your life. That's life. That's really one of the best - if not the best - things that could happen to a person. To meet your soulmate. Your true soulmate.

I don't believe there is a perfect person, but rather someone who you can just love for as long as you live. I believe that the person you will love forever is the one who can always teach you something, the one that can make you smile, the one that will let be protected (from the male point of view), the independant woman nonetheless.

I sound like such a hopeless romantic, it's ridiculous. But yes, I do believe in "The One"

[NickH]

I think it does just as it applies to a whole lot more.

You go test driving a couple cars, you immediately know which one is for you. You visit colleges like I have been doing, I know which one is the one, but I have to wait for the spring semester. House hunting, girls, pets, im sure after a while, you would know if she is the right person.

[Action]

I think 'The One' is simply someone who, after the sexual-romance of your relationship wears off, is still your best friend. I don't think there's one, I think there's hundreds. Possibly thousands. So when it comes down to it, how many people are there in the world who you could be best mates with? Now, how many of them are female? How many of those are attractive enough to stimulate you sexually? (Yes, I'm shallow. Woohoo.) Those girls? They're your 'One's.
That's why it always, back in my more naive days, used to piss me off when girls would say they'd 'always ditch their boyfriend to be with their friends'. Shouldn't your boyfriend be one of your friends? The two groups of people (boyfriends and friends) should definately be inclusive.

[Pav]

Nice topic

I don't think the 'one' is only one person. I think there is one 'character' of person that you are drawn to, and there might be a few girls that have this character, with then their own small deviations and 'add-ons'.
I don't believe that if you find your 'one' and you don't get her, that you won't be able to find another girl to her equal. The only reason is because you met her first. What if you met the next girl, first. Then SHE would be the one, and the other just another...

When I posted, actions popped up. I agree with him.

[Chikito]

I don't think there is a 'one' there are just levels of romance. How can there be a 'one' anyway when personalities and people change over time. You might be head over heels for a girl for 10 years then after that she starts getting older and her priorities (and yours) change. You change and people change. So how can one person be the perfect one?

I agree with action. You can never know how far a relationship can get. You might totally fall in love with one girl then years down the road meet another who is even better. I know it sounds kinda shallow and mean but how can you ever know if thats the most in love you can be. Or the best relationship.

[Pav]

In a sociology lecture at university, the teacher said something that stuck with me:

"Love has become 'until further notice',"

This sums up not only relationships and love, but society as it is today. Everything is so easily changeable that people can pick and choose, and change things at a whim. It's socially acceptable to marry and divorce three times, where as you were seen as an outcast to do so just 20 years ago.

So love being 'until further notice' is very accurate. I'll love you for ever, or until I find a girl with a better body, more intelligent, funnier, etc. Sounds harsh, but it is reality.

[Nick Krygier]

It's the BBD mindset that is plauging our youth- always on the prowl for the Bigger Better Deal with no integrity to work things out and try to salvage the vows that you promised to keep

[Chikito]

So love being 'until further notice' is very accurate. I'll love you for ever, or until I find a girl with a better body, more intelligent, funnier, etc. Sounds harsh, but it is reality.

Marriage is man made. The until further notice is everywhere in all animals. Your constantly on the look for a better mate and if you found one why shouldn't you move on? The way I see it is I tell the girl I'm with that I have found someone new and interesting and its up to her to improve. Just like I would have no problem with her finding a new guy and telling me. Forces me to improve myself and grow.

As for vowing to a marriage thats a totally different thing. Getting married for me isn't just about the romance and relationship. Its about children, stability and a almost fixed lifestyle. And that wont happen till I am an older man.

[Nicholas Fahrenheit]

There is a one, it is the person you end up with. If you believe they are the one and you break up, then they are not the one. Whoever you end up with in the end, (conditions applying) is the one for you!

[Point]

I agree with Pav on this one!

Originally Posted by Pav

Nice topic

I don't think the 'one' is only one person. I think there is one 'character' of person that you are drawn to, and there might be a few girls that have this character, with then their own small deviations and 'add-ons'.
I don't believe that if you find your 'one' and you don't get her, that you won't be able to find another girl to her equal. The only reason is because you met her first. What if you met the next girl, first. Then SHE would be the one, and the other just another...

When I posted, actions popped up. I agree with him.

[Joe G.]

So most of you who think "the one" is a character trait moreso than an actual person?

So you don't think that one day you might be walking down the street and out of nowhere this amazing girl passes you and you know right there, before even talking to her, that you love her and that she is the one?

Sure, love might be a character trait, but there are stories of people seeing someone and knowing that person is "the one" before they even speak.

Possible or no?

[Point]

Before they even speak, I think not.

I actually remember spotting a girl exiting my school while I was entering... I swear I was completely attracted and excited to meet her or even just see her again. She seemed absolutely amazing (damn, I needed to get to know this girl )

I talked to her a few weeks later and she turned out to be a bore and an annoying bitch.
Oh, well.

[Action]

[Daniel Becerra]

Hahahaha Action, that's an awesome cartoon.

In any case, to answer Joe's question. I've seen many girls and I've said "Damn, I got to talk to her!". That's how I met Lena. I mean, I don't say to myself "Yeah, this has to be the love of my life", but I surely said "That girl looks so beautiful inside and out". I may not say it, but I feel it. It may not come in those exact words but the feeling is felt. You know what I mean?

I believe that one can be drawn to another and inmediately be captivated by another person's beauty. To love though, there must be a connection - a receptive one. You connect with her and she connects with you.

[uziel]

I think there is no "the one".. It's a choice, either conscious or unconscious, to take someone as beeing 'the one for you' for the rest of your life....

You evaluate someone unconsciously or consciously: How does she look, how is her personality, do our lifegoals fit together, and so on... You then make the decision to stay with someone...

No-one is perfect and there is no-one with who you would never dissagree on anything. It's a decision how much you like someone. How much you WANT to like someone.

Ofcourse you can see someone and think: O my god she is so beautiful outside and perhaps inside, and that's a good step to deciding to start a relationship.

I love my girlfriend. There are things I would do differently then her, but I decide to not let those things bother me or stand in the way.. I decide to put effort into my relationship and have the best girlfriend ever. I Appreciate every single thing she does and says and love her unconditionally.. Simply because I decide to, because she has the perfect balance of looks, intelligence and values for me. Although ofcourse, there are people more intelligent and more beautiful.

[Joe G.]

You guys speak of "love". Which alone is a concept of debate.

Now, I agree that there is a personality type which a person can love, but I believe that in all those possible that you can love, that there is one "true love". This is a concept which you can undoubtedly tell yourself and not deny without a second thought.

Sure, there are many who a person can possibly love, but what of fate? Don't you think there is someone meant to be with you moreso than just anyone with a certain type of personality? I leave fate to a lot of where I lead my life. I think fate brought me to this forum for a reason. Maybe it is for me to learn a special concept which will help me meet my "true love". Maybe it is for me to teach someone the concepts of living a better lifestyle so that they can find their "true love".

I think true love exists and cannot deny the possibilities that there may be one person out there for me who will reveal herself when the time is right. Until then, I practice love and romance in hopes that I will amount to her ideal guy.

[Nicholas Fahrenheit]

Seriously, I won the debate with my last argument. There is a one, and it is the person who you end up with. If you break up shes not the one. Which unfortunately leaves people without a one. Its fate, you are either born with a one or without a one, when you find her you will not know. You can never know for certain.

[Action]

That is so. Very. Not. A debate winner. You said "yes, there's a one, but you won't ever know it"
So essentially: I'm right and there's no way to disprove it.

[Pav]

Guys, there is no 'winning' of the debate, it's not a competition; it's a discussion that allows everyones view points to be heard.

[Daniel Becerra]

Week is up, debate is closed. Next topic will be put up tomorrow by me.