If you were to understand death at a deeper level, would you value life more? What about grief? If you were to see another person's grief. Would you experience a sense of urgency to tell someone that you love them and enjoy your life in the best way possible?
Sometimes we need a little push to get things done. I remember watching "Wedding Crashers" and there is a scene in which Owen Wilson is at a funeral and he watches the widow crying helplessly at her husband's death. To this event, Wilson realizes that he is not ready to lose someone he loved - the beautiful red head girl. Despite this being a comedy, the image has remained alive in my head ever since then - whether I'm aware of it or not. When I think of a loved one and his/her suffering, that image of the movie often comes to my mind and it tries to tell me something. Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don't. That same image is in my mind right now, as I type this. You'll have many of these images in your life. These images are like little voices at the back of your head, ones that remind you of one thing whenever it's needed. Many images have been stuck in my head for a long time and I still remember them vividly, exactly as the time they happened. Have you ever had an image in your head and you still remember vividly and does that image haunt you down when you least expect it?
Sometime in 2000, my family was the victim of a gun-at-hand robbery. They took away most if not all of our belongings, including three computers, three TVs, cash, watches, furniture, the microwave, jewelry. They even poisoned my dog and tied my parents' hands and legs, as well as wrapping bands around their mouths so that they couldn't make any noise. I wasn't awake to witness all of this, of course. The only images that I recall perfectly are two: Seeing my house, the one where I played everyday, empty - literally
empty. And the one I remember the most is seeing my mom jump towards me (because her legs were tied together) in a desperate look. She couldn't talk, and to wake me up, she had head-butted my bedroom door. When I let the band around her mouth loose free, the first thing she said was "Are you Okay? Did those men touch you? Did they wake you". They hadn't, not me or my brother. We slept not knowing what emotions and pain my parents were going through. At that moment, it didn't seem like much - but years later after much reflection, I truly began to believe that a mom's love to her son is the greatest love in the world. No other love in the world can beat that. None. The father's love can come close, but the mother's love is so strong and so unbearable that when I think about all the things that I can't do for my mom, I just feel drawn to do more. And more.
As I look back to the years that followed, I noticed some patterns, including one that seemed funny back then - whenever I came close to my dad when he was sleeping, he would suddenly wake up with fear on his eyes. And it took me all these years to realize that he feared the same episode happening again. My mom, on the other hand, became more considerate toward us and always on alert for strangers looking at us. Not too long after that, she became in Politics and quickly became the target of other local politicians. She was warned with death threats, yet she cared to protect us more than to protect herself. I see it now and I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't see it before. Soon after that hell vanished, it was my life that took the term of "target". The gangsters were not happy with me beating one of their members. The leader became even angrier when I kissed his "girlfriend" (in other words, he claimed her as his) in a party. To think, it was all a series of accidents the ones that led to them saying straight into my face "We are going to kill you if we see you again", makes me smile today and it reminds of how lucky I have been my entire life.
The moments where you lose or you are about to lose something meaningful are the ones that help you realize all your mistakes. And sometimes not even that. It takes a lifetime of errors (or errors that last a lifetime) to remind us everyday that life is indeed a beautiful thing that others will try to make ugly, and unfortunately most of them succeed. The world around you can be evil, but evil is only a feeling in the back of our minds, not our hearts. Whenever we don't feel content with something, evil comes and only mental power can get rid of it. We all will die some day, it's one thing we can't control - the only thing within our control is how we live up until that point. I don't believe in going to Heaven or Hell, but I believe that behind you, you will leave a legacy that will serve to others - whether it's your future kids, friends or simply neighbors. If you don't leave a legacy behind you, then your death will have been in vain.
It is those moments that shaped my life that semi-define me today as a human being. I value life a lot more, but perhaps not enough. I don't take it too seriously, because I know I will not walk alive out of it - but seriously enough to know I must enjoy myself each and every single day. So if you're reading this article and you still find yourself getting angry for the smallest things, remember that if you're going to get serious about something, get serious about living in joy. That's the only thing you can get serious about. Nothing else. The rest doesn't matter. The rest is just gray matter and it will dissolve within seconds of your death. It is the legacy of a well-lived life the one that will forever remain in the hearts of those around you. And when they die, the joy they leave behind will be shared by those around him/her. And at least, someone will know that it all begun with you.
Is that a good enough reason to get serious about living life in the greatest joy possible? I hope so, because I wrote all that just to tell you this: BEGIN LIVING!
Can death/grief make you value life more? (A thought)
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