Being sad and telling the world about it

[Daniel Becerra]

Why is it that when you're down, without the excitement that typically describes you... why is it that you want to tell the world when this happens. I tell you, I'm down and not as excited as I would like to be. And I'm trying as hard as possible not to put emo little quotes on twitter or Facebook.

I remember reading in "Tuesdays with Morrie" that it's okay to feel self-pity for a bit, immerse in it, cry, grief, whatever.. but then get back on track. And I guess that's what I want to achieve. At the same time, I don't want to give in and admit that I'm sad and lifeless. I've been considered going on a roadtrip up to the mountains without a phone, free of whatever is haunting in this city.

So yeah.. you all have been sad and down at some point in your life? Have you noticed this common pattern? the desire to be pitiful, instead of powerful? Where does it steam from?

[SilverStreak]

Fear.



Fear of pushing forward, of getting ahead - of going someplace you don't necessarily know the path of.



But also, I think sadness has it's places in certain circumstances. Death especially. I do love Tuesdays with Morrie, but for the general populous I like the general way Judaism treats death. If a parent or sibling dies, a somewhat harsh and long mourning period is supposed to occur. It's sadness that the perrson is no longer here, and relishing their life. It truly helps us to remember our own precious lives and how short they truly are. I have to say, I was completey disoriented when I went to a funeral once where everyone was laughing and having seemingly a fun time. I don't know how I wouldn't go crazy with that...Sometimes sadness should be embraced and appreciated for what it is, as long as you stay strong enough to go past it in the end.

[tonatiuh8]

It happens to me in a weird way. Instead of telling people I'm said I use my body language, tone, expressions, and energy to let them know how I feel. And it occurs when I want someone to ask me and just give me a hug. I WANT ATTENTION at that moment cause when your sad the next worst thing that can happen is depression. So I think that by reach out to someone you trying to move away from depression.

And like both of you said, it ok to embrace the sadness as long as you move on.

[Saint]

I need to learn to NOT tell anyone when I'm down. It shows weakness, and weakness leads to lack of respect.

[evil_monkey]

First off I'd like to say, 'Tuesdays with Morrie" is a GREAT book! (Thanks for the recommendation Silver.)

Also, whenever I'm feeling down and get tempted to write how I feel in my facebook status, I realize how foolish and self-centered it would make me look and it gives me a chance to put my problems into perspective, I see that I'm just complaining and not helping myself get through whatever it is that's brought me down.

I do believe that speaking to a close friend or family member about your problems is okay though.

[Daniel Becerra]

Saint, it doesn't show weakness. There is a difference between telling someone how you feel and dwelling on it for long periods of time. Don't get the wrong idea about manhood. Man can cry. Man should cry. Nothing wrong with it.

I'm not saying cry every time. Definitely not. But don't be afraid of doing it either.

If I might, I'd recommend "The power of a Man" by Rick Johnson, and of course "Tuesdays with Morrie" both amazing books. And if you're feeling inspired, read "The Way of the Wild Heart" by John Eldredge too

[Hector M.]

I withdraw, and let it implode into anger. The last thing I want people to see is that I am sad. I see that as showing weakness.

Sure, people may sympathize and try to cheer up, but for me, that just makes me feel like less of a man. Personally, I think sadness is weakness, and it cannot be shown or expressed without others thinking you're weak.

[Chikito]

Its exactly that reason, that most men see it as a sign of weakness. That any man confident in themselves enough to have no problem with showing they are human is a strong man. The point is that you need to recognize that emotions have effects, being sad has an effect on your day to day life. If your in control of that effect you have nothing to fear. When you get sad you use it to fuel your life instead of destroying it - strong men have that kind of control.

[Nicholas Fahrenheit]

haha, yep. I wallowed in self pity, I even developed depression. I was on 100mg of sertraline a day to help with it. Eventually I got out of it, you just gotta remember that in the end things work out for the best. I am now a stronger person because of it all.

[Daniel Becerra]

The more you need to prove yourself as a man, the lesser man you actually are.

Humble yourself to admit that you're weak and pray to God (or whatever higher power you believe in) to gain wisdom and strength.

Do not confused sadness with self-pity. One is an emotion, the other is a choice.

[Hector M.]

To tell the world your sadness...

...depends on how you frame it. Happiness can grow from sadness, but other things can grow from sadness too.

If your sadness holds a key lesson in life to help someone overcome a problem, then share.

If you need help coping with sadness, phrase it in a way that shows you're not being eaten by it. We all have enough struggle with things out of our control, why struggle with those factors YOU control?

Sadness...is a fact of life. Overcoming it is a beautiful reward.

[NickH]

Im a little down right now because I have no job and am dependent on my parents even thought they said they are fine giving me gas money and for food as long as I am still in school. I just cant go out and do the things I do and buy what I want to buy because I dont have the money for it. When I go out to bars or clubs with whatever left over cash I have, I am always thinking about running out of money, cant drink as much as Id like, I always have to drive because the one time I didnt the driver got obliterated and it was a long night of waiting. Im not working out anymore even though I want to get back on track, school is coming to an end...home sucks lol its boring.

Thats my rant...

[Nick Krygier]

Originally Posted by Chikito

When you get sad you use it to fuel your life instead of destroying it - strong men have that kind of control.

Beautifully said Chikito. A lesson only recently learned for me: the ability to use whatever I am feeling rather then having it use me. Whenever I feel something that is powerful, in any way, and I want to do something with it, I write. I write about whatever I'm feeling. I write about love, I write about death, I write about friends. I write about me. It's amazing how therapeutic a little creative release can be, in fact, I'm doing it even right now. The days where feelings of inadecuacy, feelings of sadness, even feelings of extreme joy have stifled me in inaction have forever been put behind me. And I'm much stronger, and much more of a man because of it. Once again Chikito, beautifully said.