Damn, My Club Game Needs Some Work

[Trapstar]

I went to a club for the first time yesterday and well, it didn't really go as I had planned.

My friends and I arrive there around 10:30 (thought I should probably state that I didn't have a decent wingman with me; 2 girls, me and one of the girl's boyfriend) and not much is going on; there's probably 6 total people on the dance floor at this time and everyone else is just standing around talking, drinking, trying to loosen up with the alcohol (which I can't get ). But anyways, we walk in, sit down at a table and are pretty much just waiting for something to happen.

Finally after about 10-15 minutes of just sitting there, making some boring fluff talk, a good song comes on and some more people start to go to the dance floor. The girls we were with start to get up and go dancing, while it was just us there sitting and staring; mainly because it was my first time at a club, I think it might have been his first time too. Anyways, like 5 minutes later, his girlfriend comes over and pulls him to the dance floor.

So now it's just me sitting there by myself and I'm like, shit, what do I do now? My natural instinct tells me to get up and start chatting up some babes or go dancing or something, but for some reason I just sat there. I acted like I was texting or checking my phone for a little bit, and literally just sat there, staring into space. Not sure why, but I kept telling myself that I need some alcohol to go out there and have a good time. It probably would have helped at the time but I seriously want to be able to game and have a good time without it. I kept trying to think of ideas to get me some bud light or a couple shots or something.

After 10 minutes or so, I decided that enough is enough and I really need to get up and do something. Alright, I'm up... now what? Should I go look for my friends, go to the bathroom, etc..... I tried to make all these excuses as for why I shouldn't go do something. I'm tired, I need to loosen up with beer, blah blah blah... Not sure what was wrong... but yea. I actually said fuck it (not literally) and started to stand by the dance floor for a little bit. Danced with some chicks that live in our dorm, some other girls that just came over and started talking to me, and one of the girls I came with.

Now I really need some work on my dancing. I am seriously not a good dancer. I don't even know how to grind right, it seems like. The girls I grind on, it seems like I can't move in motion with them; they move one way and I'm trying to get a feel for the song and the way they move, but it's just not working. I feel awkward dancing by myself too so after some attempts at grinding I just got off the floor and decided that I should go talk to some people. I go stand under the air conditioner, and my mind literally goes blank. I see some girls eying me up and guess what I did. Nothing. Happened basically the whole night too. I just stared at the floor, waiting for something to pop in my head, hoping I could just think of something good to say. Not that I wanted something good to say, I just wanted to talk. But that didn't happen.

Some chicks come up to me and I'm like "Hi. How you girls doing?" Glad I at least said something. Said some stuff like yea it's my first time here, do you girls come here often, it's really hot it here, etc... just some boring stuff. The rest of the time I didn't even say anything, she initiated pretty much the whole convo. I still had the alcohol excuse in the back of my mind but I didn't end up getting some so that pretty much fucked up my whole night.

Oh yea, some drunk chick came and sat over by me on the couch and I didn't really want to talk to her because I was pretty pissed I didn't talk to anyone or didn't have any liquor. So I'm like yea, just not really caring what she said or what she said. But for some reason, the conversation actually went better than I thought it should have. I didn't really care if the conversation went well or not; that might have been why it actually went well. I think that if I don't really care about the result of the conversation, it just flows naturally and goes well.

Well to make a long story short, I got her number, left with her and her friends (who weren't very hot at all), tried (unsuccessfully) to go to some after-parties, and got dropped off at my dorm. Yea, it definitely could have been a better night, but I'm glad I pushed my comfort zone, even if it was just a little bit. I actually attempted to dance, which was outside my comfort zone, and I tried to talk with some other girls there too.

Damn, my club game needs some work…

[Nicholas Fahrenheit]

Well, there were positives. You made an effort and you pushed your comfort zone, and thats about it. Congratulations on that, you made the first step..

Now the negatives, ok the frst and most clear, and I'm not going to sugar coat this so sorry If I offend you. You do NOT need alcohol to have a good time, you are making excuses and piss poor ones at that, they are holding you back from achieving and until you can stop blaming your flaws on tangible objects and concepts you're not going anywhere fast. Its a weak person who claims their poor mood is a result of no alcohol. I am probly being overly critical since it was your first time in a club.

You need to learn to harness the atmosphere, usually places like that alone are enough to work me into a social frenzy. The atmosphere is my alcohol.

Dont ask 'do you come here often' unless you are making a joke and even then dont so it, I think/hope you know why but if you still need an explanation I'm sure I can find one somewhere.

I'm going to put this down to inexperience, and if you're like me you'll embelish a few details of your night to make it a little more dramatic and fun to read, without affecting you at all. If this is you then you REALLY need to stop. You're already in a sad enough situation without it. But dont feel down, you'll improve with time.

[diablo]

whatsup trapstar... i was in your shoes when i was a freshman at my university too.

tell ya what i did..
since i wasn't old enough to drink.. i had a fake i.d.
but i never had to use it.
because the doorms were close to the bars... so i'd go to the bars early.

meet the staff, "how's your day been man? that great, i'm diablo... i'll be stoppin by here later. let me know if i can get ya anything"
and then when i get to that club later, i know the bouncer, and the bartenders i met earlier.. they THINK i'm 21. so i don't get i.d.'ed

i'll roll in, say what's up to the bouncer, call him by his name..
CALL HIM BY HIS NAME. handshake him, and ask if i can grab him a drink or some chips from the kitchen or something.
not being gay... just being friendly.

of course he'll say no, because they aren't allowed to eat and drink while they work the door.
but it's a nice gesture, and no one ever asks them that kinda stuff.
try that if ya can!

also... try this man... this is soooo $$$$$$ in a club.
that i don't even like daygame anymore because it doesn't work as good in the day i've noticed! haha.

roleplaying.
there should be a whole other section on this forum dedicated to different role playing experiences.
for example, pretending she's your ex-girlfriend, or she's your new girl-friend... holy shit this is money.

gives you so many reasons to touch the girl. and her to touch you!

anyway, have you been to any clubs lately?
how is it going for ya?

[Tom Church]

Hey Trapstar, what Diablo and NF said is true. But I wouldn't be harsh on yourself at all.

The important thing is, not to let this experience rattle you. I'm sure you must be feeling a bit about clubs now, did it knock your confidence a bit? Make sure you don't let this settle or become a pattern, keep going out because no matter what, one day you have a damn good time.

Tbh with you, the club sounded a bit shit: 6 people on the dance floor. Next time you go, try going later, and get a good group of friends to come as well because then you're guaranteed to have a good time.

As for dancing, (I'm assuming you're from the USA, forgive me if I'm wrong), wtf is the obsession with grinding? Who says that you have to grind, or that grinding is cool/the norm? If you were to dance by yourself, what would you do? You can't grind by yourself, you'd look like a twat.

Dude, in my opinion, it doesn't matter how you dance, if you can make her laugh and smile, that's all that matters. Spin her around. Learn one damn good dance move and do it.

Anyways, hope you're well,

Tom

[Trapstar]

haha holy shit, now that I look back at this, I'm quite amazed.

I'm actually taking a hip hop class now at my university and it all seems so easy now to dance. Wow who woulda thought...
But seriously guys, if you can, take some dance classes. Take salsa or jazz or something. Or be like me and take hip hop if you want. It's a pretty fun class and I actually like going to it.

haha dancing at the club seems so easy now...

oh and yes Tom, I'm from the U.S.

[tonatiuh8]

remember just have have FUN at the clubs.

And it's sick that you took the initiative to take a class. Just one little tip, DON"T THINK while dancing. IF you THINK you choke period.

Have fun brother.