RedLine90's questions

[RedLine90]

Well since I have a lot of questions and that are very random instead of creating a topic for each I'll post them here and hope to get them answered.

Alex gave me a great idea to use my dark past as my advantage to display DHV
Here it is.
"Did I ever tell you what I had to do get to America?"
"People are crazy over in Bulgaria. Anyone with good grades became an instant target"
"I really didn't care for them much"
"So I just kept pushing forward"
"With some hope that it would payoff someday"
"And here I am now, here with you!"
"Thats the BEST payoff" *cue cheesy sarcasm and huge smile*

What do you think?

[Daniel Becerra]

Can you be more specific at what you're trying to get at, here? ^_^

[tonatiuh8]

Hey bro I got a great answer man...Fuck DHV stories.

TALK about YOU.

Talk about your dreams.
Your struggles.
Your best day.
Your worst day.
What kind of childhood you like( this one is great since most of us had either ok childhoods, or really great ones)
Most embarrasing moment.
Your prom.
Graduation day.
The first time you got HIGH.

You get the picture brother. We all know how to talk about ourselves, and the DHV BS is just something that has been stopping you from really opening up to people. Since every time you have a conversation you think about- oh I should talk about this time so she sees my manly qualities- or - I can talk about my last GF so she sees I'm pre qualified.

Trust me on this one since I was like that a few months ago.

[Ray Casanova]

Tona hit it right on the nail. This is a site based on the advancement on yourself, it's not just a PUA site. Routines and canned lines are lame. I remember someone here once said "pick up artists dhv with stories, we dhv by living our lives to the fullest" or something along those lines. Sure you could use your past as something to joke around with. However, this is not about your past. It is about your future and your present, things you still have control over. Who do you want to become? What traits do you want to lose? What are your goals and aspirations? What are your beliefs? What are you good at? Keep it on the positive, sure your past could possibly be made "funny" but if it's a dark one it's better to just come to terms with it, grow from it and forget it.

[SilverStreak]

To Ray and Tona, you guys are actually missing his point (partially because he didn't state it well)
-------------------------
The goal of his little conversation right there is not to just be a routine, but also just learning to phrase conversation about himself. The story is his own, its quite short (going into any more detail would make it huge I think) and he just needs help learning how to phrase it.

So I gave this model conversation to him after 2min of just asking him if he told anyone really about what he went through to get to America to give him an idea of how to go about talking about it.

[RedLine90]

Heh, I just want to share my feelings, I'm not really asking any question, just what's on my mind. Well I've been reading/watching/listening to David D, Mystery and all that...well to say the least, I have changed, I know a lot of stuff now, but still I'm horrible at creating any kind of attraction...I'm horrible at keeping any conversation up. And I try to keep high state all the time, but sometime just sitting on the lunch table...there is nothing to say/do...maybe it's me again. I cannot start even a conversation it's like there is nothing to say about it....I don't know what I'm lacking...energy, more topics to talk about, idea to keep a conversation up...I don't know. I still keep kind of positive outlook, but I feel that this is going to grow up to something else...

[evil_monkey]

Red, you're just over-thinking it, you need to stop worrying about saying the wrong thing, conversation is supposed to be spontaneous and have a natural flow to it, if your constantly thinking about sounding cool or saying the "right thing" then it gets awkward. And remember tone and body language are far more important than the actual words you use.

So my advice to you is to not worry about what your saying and just be yourself, because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.

[SilverStreak]

Guys, as much I'd love to say just be yourself - it truly is a cliche if you don't have a great handle on social dynamics, and you can sometimes just not go anywhere if you keep the "be yourself" attitude with nothing else.

[Ray Casanova]

David D doesn't seem too bad, but besides theory be careful on what you take away from Mystery's teachings. Don't become a routine kind of guy. If you want to learn about how social dynamics work you should read up on The Definitve Book on Body Language by Barbara Pease. It's written from a scientist's point of view and has plenty of pictures, its so good that my professor even reccomended it in psyche class. You could find it online for free if you know where to look, if you can't find it I can send it to you later.

[tonatiuh8]

Originally Posted by SilverStreak

Guys, as much I'd love to say just be yourself - it truly is a cliche if you don't have a great handle on social dynamics, and you can sometimes just not go anywhere if you keep the "be yourself" attitude with nothing else.

a couple of months ago I would have completely agree with you that been yourself was not enough. But know I see that ALL of us are conversationalist be nature. We all knew how to communicate at very very young age and I can prove it. ARE YOU ALIVE RIGHT NOW cause if you are you have past the test and are a conversationalist by nature plus know the fundamentals of social dynamics. Babies needed to learn the basics of surviving, and how did they get this basics tools to survive? simply they communicated: either by crying, sleeping, laughing, loving and many things. The reason that many of us are still thinking that we need to get better at communicating is because we are wrapped up in a big fucking lie that we like to call SOCIETY, that makes us believe we all always need the next best thing to be better. Now I do agree with you some what because saying " just be yourself " is not enough it; should actually be said something along this lines " find who YOU really are, then be yourself "


I hope I haven't confused any one. Have any questions?

[SilverStreak]

I still disagree - there are plenty of people I know PERSONALLY who have no problem being who they feel they are yet still are perfectly incapable of having a conversation with many people, let alone be taken seriously.

[evil_monkey]

when I said "be yourself" I was trying to help Red be more confident, have a more relaxed attitude and be less self-conscious about what he's saying, because that will make him more approachable and easier to talk to.

Also, Tonatiuh, I like what you said "find out who you really are, then be yourself" that's much better than just saying "just be yourself".

[tonatiuh8]

Originally Posted by SilverStreak

I still disagree - there are plenty of people I know PERSONALLY who have no problem being who they feel they are yet still are perfectly incapable of having a conversation with many people, let alone be taken seriously.

Totally agree, the think do is how do you know they found who THEY REALLY are. And from what I perceive not many people know who THEY are. All of us here don't truly know who we really are, some maybe close to figure in out others maybe at a advance level and know( Very Rare). But the majority of the world has no clue who the hell they are.

[RedLine90]

As I see this progressing to a more deeper level, I will not hesitate to ask another question. How do you believe will one feel when he has found his true self? Will he magically go like "O here I found me" or it is more complicated, what are your thoughts on that? And what does finding yourself mean to you?

[SilverStreak]

Originally Posted by tonatiuh8

Totally agree, the think do is how do you know they found who THEY REALLY are. And from what I perceive not many people know who THEY are. All of us here don't truly know who we really are, some maybe close to figure in out others maybe at a advance level and know( Very Rare). But the majority of the world has no clue who the hell they are.

I agree, and HERE is the thing: they are themselves as in they do what they like, but they don't get the social dynamics and cues!

As I see this progressing to a more deeper level, I will not hesitate to ask another question. How do you believe will one feel when he has found his true self? Will he magically go like "O here I found me" or it is more complicated, what are your thoughts on that? And what does finding yourself mean to you?

I don't think there is one moment as I don't think anyone ever fully reaches their full self possibly (as it is always growing), but there are definitely very emotional and excited moments when you realize you're becoming more the person you want to be.

[RedLine90]

Alright, I know that in order to show big value in a group you have to lead the conversation, well today my friend showed me something. He was talking to others and when he paused I tried to say something to him but then he continued talking never minding me, and I looked like I was trying to get his attention, happened more than once...And when he started speaking I would listen to him and show not much care if my words would reach him...but in my head I'm like "duude, this guy owns you, it's like he doesn't acknowledge you exist, didn't even budge when you spoke to him, now be a good servant and pretend like you're so cool you don't care if he is gonna hear you or nor". So any insight? What to do in those kinds of situations?


P.S. Oh and I just sent a facebook on a girl saying "What's your phone number?". We speak since she is on my table at lunch but really I'm not sure if she is going to give it, got a kick of it though, don't ask me why.

[RedLine90]

lol I saw her at 2:30 am and chat with her on facebook. lol I'll show you how "smooth" I am.

red

you really need to go to sleep young lady, look at the time

it's waaay past your bed time
2:21am

Girl

ha im out with friends
2:22am

Red

you have friends? *gasps*

alright I'm going to go

see you
2:23am

Girl

ha

later
2:23am

Red

oh, wait what's your phone?
2:24am

Girl

haha why?
2:25am

Red

cuz I need someone to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaning
2:25am

Girl

wha?
2:25am

Red

naw I'm joking...

I'm asking because...

...I need you to come over my house...

...and fold my clothes
2:26am

Girl

??
2:29am

Red

well I'm gonna go to shoot some pool on Sunday, and i think you should come and entertain me
2:30am

Red

alright I'm sleeping on the keyboard...

see ypu

*you
2:30am

Girl

ha bye



Yeah I know I'm as smooth as a paper towel. But oh well, it's a learning experience, how do you think I could have handled it better? And now what, on Monday when/if she asks me about this again, I'll just say "I was just interested" and continue on to another topic?

[A New Me]

oh, wait what's your phone?
2:24am

Girl

haha why?
2:25am

Red

cuz I need someone to pick up my clothes from the dry cleaning
2:25am

Girl

wha?
2:25am

Red

naw I'm joking...

I'm asking because...

...I need you to come over my house...

...and fold my clothes
2:26am

Girl

??

What were you trying to do, bud? I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I'm genuinely interested in knowing what your purpose was so that i can be of some help

[RedLine90]

I dunno, most of the time I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, well there I tried to get her phone...here is the background she and I sit on the same lunch table at school. That's it, lol. And yesterday i was like, fuck it I'm gonna try this shit...well didn't work, it's gonna be interesting in Monday to say the least, lol.

Oh and on that thing you copied, I dunno...tried to get phone and use some David D. stuff to make it look less pathetic than it was, i guess I failed. lol


Oh and don't spare the meanness on me...I need all the shit told on me don't hide anything.

[A New Me]

I suggest you read this post: "Seven common mistakes aspiring PUA's make"

Learn the difference between Cocky & funny AND Cocky & Not Funny.

Another things is this, once you mess up once, dont try to hide your mistake, just admit it, and then state what you really want. So when you said about the laundry stuff, instead of following up with the clothe folding, simply say "That was a horrible joke, sorry. I just want to get you more". Even if she denies, you will come out triumphant for your courage, rather than cocky and NOT funny. AKA stupidity.

[RedLine90]

There we go, finally...alright now that everyone knows I don't know shit about shit, we can start something. Well here is my problem, if I watch a guy I can identify and help him correct his problems, but when it comes to me....lol....anyways. Alright someone HAS to explain me cocky and funny...because those 2 quotes about laundry are from David D....make me a task, or homework that I have to do, to practice internalize it...

I just finished watching the Punisher with some friends, it got me in this bad ass state. Like I want to fight, and respect and you know like in the movies, man I love this state, I'm so confident.

[NickH]

The thing with cocky and funny, its really tough to do over text and internet. You need body language and facial expressions to display the "im only half serious" attitude.

[RedLine90]

Well I started today meeting women online, made a profile and stuff, anyone any suggestions/ideas from more experienced people? :]

[RedLine90]

I've got mixed results...one worked out perfectly, she took the bait, another kind of-ish...and others just fucking told me straight up who do you think you are to critique my profile (tried to bust on them for stuff on their profile), lol gotta love the lack of wit.

[SilverStreak]

Originally Posted by RedLine90

I've got mixed results...one worked out perfectly, she took the bait, another kind of-ish...and others just fucking told me straight up who do you think you are to critique my profile (tried to bust on them for stuff on their profile), lol gotta love the lack of wit.

Red, baby - don't just critique people! That's mean!

Now, making a remark that justs put a nice, yet ridiculous light on something is something you can laugh with her about!